Mark of Fridays Past: Bedtime Routine

We've gotten into a bedtime routine in which we read three books, tell Mark a story (usually one Matt makes up on the spot), and sing three songs.  He picks the songs, so it's usually the same three or four songs, over and over.  He also asks us to change the words to some of the songs to make them, in his mind, more suitable for bedtime.

For example, "How much is that doggie in the window?" must be sung three times, one verse for each of the dogs Mark knows best:  Jack, Cole, and Charlie.  Each verse should describe the color of the dog in question.  Sometimes for extra fun, he requires that we sing the whole song in Spanish.

In "Playmate," Mommy Elmo has the flu, not a dolly.  And they don't slide down a cellar door.  It's a slide.

Sometimes "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" would be better if we changed it to "Take Me Out to the Softball Game" and the words altered to fit a description of the Beacon-News Softball tournament that Mark attended a few weeks back.  It's important that instead of peanuts and crackerjacks they go to McDonald's afterward (like Mark did) and have french fries.

But the best is "Animal's Fair."  In case you don't know it, the real lyrics are as follows:
We went to the Animal's Fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The old baboon by the light of the moon
Was combing his auburn hair
The monkey, he got drunk
He sat on the elephant's trunk
The elephant sneezed
And fell to his knees
And that was the end of the monk, the monk.

And here's the version Mark insists that we sing at bedtime, after realizing that the original version is not so kind on the monkey:
We went to the Animal's Fair
The birds, the beats, the lions, and the elephants were there
The old baboon by the light of the moon
Was sitting in his own cage.
The monkey, he got drunk
He sat on the elephant's trunk, which was sticking out a little into his cage
The elephant sneezed
And fell to his knees
And no one got hurt because they were all in their own cages!