Honeymoon Adventures IIX: A little perspective

The entire honeymoon in Peru was wonderful and memorable. But two days were truly unforgettable.
The first was Wednesday, July 23, the day Lynne and Matt visited the Shantytown. It was both humbling and inspiring. When people heard Lynne and Matt were going to Peru, there was always a few raised eyebrows. People had heard about Macchu Picchu, maybe Shining Path. To most people, Peru seemed like an odd choice for a honeymoon. Not very relaxing and not really romantic.
Wednesday was the kind of the day they were talking about: the group took a bus to the poorest part of Lima, the capital city in Peru. Not normal honeymoon behavior. And yet, it was one of the more rewarding experiences of Lynne and Matt's lives.
The day began at 7:30 a.m. when the new tour guide, Jose, took everyone to the fishing village along the ocean. Here, the absolute most poor fisherman head out to the ocean everyday, competing with pelicans for a bit to eat and bit to sell. Some of the fisherman snacked on their bait - small bugs that looked like grubs - rather than eat lunch during the day. Watching the fisherman try to eke out a living, Lynne and Matt felt the first twinges of voyeurism. Some people were friendly, willing to pose for pictures. Others shooed intruders away, or turned their backs on the Americans.
The people in the small fish market knew we weren't going to buy any fish, so they didn't much like us hanging around there. Although the tour group gave them a tip - and some of the fisherman were very friendly - Lynne and Matt couldn't help but feel a bit imperialistic, dropping in to see how the other half lives.
Near the fishing was a traditional market where everything from fresh fruit to soap to underwear was sold in a maze of tiny booths that were virtually indistinguishable from each other. Half of the market was closed because - just like in the U.S. - a megamart down the street had undercut their prices and was much more convenient for shoppers. Although this scenario plays itself out in the U.S. all the time, you had to wonder what will happen to these fisherman and small merchants, who have absolutely no education or skills to fall back on.
Then, the group headed to a sad and marvelous place: Santa Rosa, a huge shanty town on the edge of Lima. The residents had mostly come from the Andes Mountains where natural disaster, poverty, famine or lack of government support had driven them toward the city. These people essentially squat on the edges of a town, at the sides and base of huge hill. With no weather to worry about, they build their houses from cast off materials and garbage. Lynne and Matt saw roofs made from banners that had advertised sales in restaurants. Walls were made up abandoned scraps of wood. Row after row after row - hundreds of "homes" that were really just rooms that housed families of four, five or even six.
Shanty towns are very controversial in Peru. Even though most of Lima started as shanty towns, the established residents don't like the newcomers dirtying up the edges of their city. The shanty towns have been outlawed. Just a week before Lynne and Matt visited Santa Rosa, the government had come through with bulldozers, indiscriminately knocking over homes, crushing beds and school report cards. Miraculously, no one was hurt. A week later, the residents had simply put their homes back together. They were survivors.
The residents have banded together, reasoning that alone they are vulnerable and together they are a force. Even though many of them work the most menial jobs in Peru, they all donate a little of their paycheck to the group kitchen. There, for two soles (about 60 cents), they can eat a full dinner. If you can't pay two soles (because you have no work), you can clean dishes or cook and pay one sole. If you are physically unable to do that, you are sponsored by the other residents. After the bulldozing, the kitchen had saved up enough money to give free meals to the residents for eight days. The sense of community among these people - bond by poverty - is amazing.
The community has carved out a small, dirt soccer field. They hire one of the residents to serve as a "policeman", who is really more of a watchman, keeping an eye out for enterprising thieves and government trucks. (Few of the homes have locks, which are too expensive.) The roads are covered in large rocks the residents carried in an effort to flatten the ground, since they can't afford to pave the roads.
It's important to understand how poor these people are. One woman, Mirabel, invited us into her home. There was no plumbing, no sink, no toilet, no electricity. The home was one room, dirt floor. The roof was a tarp and the walls were reeds. The seven family members slept in two double beds. There were no dressers, because there was not multiple changes of clothes. Just a few items piled in a garbage pail. There was small table in the corner, which doubled as a workspace the crafts Mirabel made and sold.
On the wall, Mirabel had posted some artwork her children had done in school. All of her families money went to paying for her children's schooling so they could have professional jobs (like tour guides) someday. Mirabel started crying when told us about that because her last child had started school recently. It was the tears of someone who is overwhelmed by the idea that there may be hope for her family.
Lynne and Matt realized that standing there with their hiking boots on, wedding rings and digital cameras, they were carrying more wealth than this entire family had. But no one would take donations.
They encouraged everyone to buy the crafts the residents had made: hats, finger puppets, magnets, pins, bracelets. The children learned the crafts as a way to make money and learn a trade. The profits were split between the community pot and the creator. Lynne and Matt happily stocked up on all sorts of trinkets. It hardly seemed enough.
No, it wasn't romantic, but it was eye opening. The people were truly wonderful. They were generous when they had nothing and welcoming when they could have been ashamed. Lynne and Matt were acutely aware of how lucky they are. And while Lynne and Matt felt obtrusive, they never felt unwanted.
And there is proof that these shanty towns can survive and thrive. After Santa Rosa, the group went to Villa el Salvador, a "Stage 2" shanty town. the first squatters came in 1970 and lived in shacks. But they slowly fortified their own reed homes with bricks and wood. They built their own banks and paved their own roads. They started a thriving industry that supplies some of the nicest furniture to Peru at prices that were ridiculously cheap (dining room table and six chairs for $300). The community was still "poor" but it was clearly thriving, growing. And, the residents were nominated for the Nobel Prize for the community efforts.
It was an unforgettable visit, filled with despair, hope and perspective.
That night, after a spaghetti lunch in a Swiss restaurant, Lynne and Matt took a death defying cab ride to downtown Lima. Traffic lanes, signals and patterns were merely suggestions to this driver. Lynne and Matt visited the Inquisition Museum, which looked cool in the guide books but turned out to be a dud because everything was in heavy Spanish and none of the exhibits made much sense. But the pictures look pretty cool.
The entire group had sent their laundry down to a cleaners at our guide's suggestion and collecting all the right clothing was a challenge. ("If I come down wearing too long pants, you will know they are not mine," said one woman.) But everyone headed to bed, grateful for all they had and ready for a flight to Cusco the next day.

Day Eight Summary: Zero flights, zero boat trips and zero bus rides; one humbling visit to an amazing city; one dud Inquisition Museum.
Mustache: Glorious. The mustache was having it's best day yet. It was neither the thin creepy mustache yet, nor the vague not-yet-shaven experience. The mustache was truly in its element this day.
Weird foods eaten: Spaghetti at a Swiss restaurant in Peru is fairly odd
Coming next: Thin air and a famous stone

Honeymoon Adventures VII: Return to Monkey Island!

The Lynne and Matt Honeymoon Adventure was filled with many amazing and wonderful places. Lynne and Matt each had their favorites.
Day Seven of the honeymoon (July 22) was Matt's No. 1, probably of all time.
The day began at 7:30 a.m. with a trip to Monkey Island!! Do you think that font was overdone? It wasn't.
When Matt was a kid, Boys' Life Magazine (the magazine for Boy Scouts) ran a list of different pets that people might have, and the positives and negatives of each animal. There was fish and turtles and hamsters. And a monkey. A monkey!
It had never in crossed Young Matt's mind that a monkey could be a pet. It was perhaps the greatest thing that Young Matt had ever heard, despite the fact that the article mentioned one "negatives" of owning a monkey is that it might be illegal. All Young Matt heard was 'might be.' A Monkey as a pet? Imagine the tricks you could teach a monkey. With training the monkey could learn to ride a bike, speak sign language, maybe even do math homework.
Skipping ahead 20 years and one marriage, Lynne, Matt and the tour group took a short boat trip out to a long, private island in the middle of the Amazon. The island is owned and funded by private donations (no government help!) as a sanctuary for monkeys, which were being over-hunted as food. So, these rescue workers set up Monkey Island!!
As the boat pulled up, Raul the Tour Guide warned everyone not to leave their bags on the boat, which was odd because he had given the exact opposite advice at nearly every other stop. Well, as soon as the boat docked, three monkeys walked down to the boat and climbed on. One big, lazy-looking orange howler monkey laid right on some guy's shoulders!
It was perhaps the greatest thing that Matt had ever seen.
Everyone walked up to a clearing on the island where monkeys everywhere! One grabbed onto Lynne's backpack with his tail and was hanging there. Another one grabbed a guy's hat and tried to run away with it. There were tiny monkeys and red monkeys, screeching monkeys and honking monkeys, lazy monkeys and hyper monkeys. They were all incredibly friendly.
Apparently, they stay in the small, public area of the island until they get a few months old. Then they retreat into the jungle and most are never seen again. But the monkey population is growing, so that's good.



Everyone in the group got to feed the monkeys bananas and Lynne swung one guy named Luis around with a stick. (check out the video!)



Matt fed a monkey and enjoyed but...he was getting a bit jealous. Young Matt couldn't help but show up. He wanted a monkey to sit on his shoulders. But Matt had no idea how to lure a monkey off the other guests shoulders without appearing...obvious...or desperate. Wah.
One of the monkeys was sitting on this girls' shoulders hooting and honking (check out the video). Matt tried to convince the girl that was the sound howler monkeys made right before they went to the bathroom. Alas, she didn't buy it.
But then...the monkey did climb on Matt's shoulders. And you know what? It was better than a
dog, that's for sure. And Matt sort of looked like the monkey, too.
After about the greatest hour ever, the group got back on the boat, for a ride back to the buses and out of Iquitos.
Only one person was left behind: Young Matt was never seen again. He went into the jungle and believed to be living as the treasurer for a small band of spider monkeys.
On the boat ride back to the buses, Matt couldn't help but think that Monkey Island was a cool name for one of those old, 1940s movies. Matt tried to think of the perfect name. Return to Monkey Island? Escape from Monkey Island? The Curse of Monkey Island?
That's when Matt realized what the perfect name was: Honeymoon on Monkey Island. Spooky.
After the monkey island the time in Iquitos was over, sadly. It was time to head to get on a plane headed for Lima. We missed a train, but managed to travel by air, sea and land in one day, which is pretty cool.
The flight was uneventful other than a man threw his crackers and swore at a stewardess, while announcing that was the worst food he had ever tasted. So, that was pretty cool. It felt like being present for a historical moment, or something.
That night we wandered over to Bembos, the Peruvian equivalent of McDonalds. While Matt was eating some fries, a little boy, maybe 5 years old, wandered in selling gum. He was all alone, wandering the streets of one of the largest cities in the world. It was startling.
After that, we sent a few emails, watched some BBC-CNN (Obama was traveling through Europe and people seemed to like him), then watched a little Alf in Spanish. Someone actually had to sit and translate all of Alf into Spanish, then find "actors" to dub the show. That was also startling, in a completely different way.

Day Seven Summary: One life fulfilling trip to Monkey Island!; one perfect name for a future horror movie starring Matthew McConnaughay and Catherine Zeta-Jones; two boat rides; one plane ride, including the worst crackers ever; one bus ride; one-tenth of an episode of Alf, creating a full on episode of embarrassment about American culture.

Mustache: Noticeable. The mustache was really coming full strength now. It wasn't at Mark Hanley levels or anything, but a monkey was able to swing from it.

Weird foods eaten: We ate the fries with mayo at Bembos. And we had those airlines crackers - they're weren't so bad, actually.

Coming next: A humbling learning experience.

Honeymoon Adventures VI: Ceiba and science

Day Six of the honeymoon (July 21) was a day of relaxation, beauty, science and a hint of home.

After a few days in the real Amazon, Matt and Lynne shipped off to Ceiba Tops, the only luxury resort in the Amazon and the high end hotel in the Explorama chain. The group had heard rumors of this place on the third day of the trip. Supposedly, it was very swank - $245 a night, in a country where a dollar goes a long, long way.

It was very odd walking in, like being in Florida. There was cement everywhere, a chlorinated pool, a lounge with board games (did you know Scrabble has extra letters in Peru?), and air conditioned rooms. When Matt and Lynne first saw the people who had been staying at Ceiba Tops, there was a bit of resentment. These people didn't know what the Amazon was really like. Look at them! Lounging by the pool! Going down the slide! Holding a parrot! Puh-lease.

And then...Matt and Lynne fell onto the clean beds - no mosquito netting. They swam in the pool and went down the slide. They took hot showers. Ahhhhh. Sweet bliss, as Lynne would say.

As you can see, this development was exciting for Lynne.

But Lynne and Matt didn't waste all their time at Ceiba Tops having sun in the fun. This trip was not only a chance to relax, it was opportunity to learn. So, Lynne and Matt conducted their own scientific experiment at the hotel, working on a rumor that has circulated for years. The results were recorded for poosterity. Click below to become part of science.



Ahem.

After some morning rest, the group headed back out onto the Amazon for what was supposed to be one of the highlights of the trip. Since Lynne and Matt landed in Peru, people had been talking about the amazing pink Dolphins. The group piled into the boat and Raul, the guide, took everyone to a spot in the river where he thought the Pink Dolphins might be hanging out, like a dolphin soda shop or the dolphin dollar theater. Of course, Raul knew right where to go.

Now, this may be a case where Matt was done in by his own expectations. He got it into his head that the dolphins would be leaping into the air (like Free Willy), dancing around and over the boat. Instead, the dolphins surfaced briefly, providing a fleeting glimpse of their back. Matt saw them, but he really couldn't tell they were pink. Check out this video. Does he look pink to you? Allegedly, at best. (None of the dolphins were that close or that still for Lynne and Matt.)

It's not that the animals were disappointing - they're marvelous and fascinating creatures - but the view wasn't all that spectacular.

After the dolphin viewing, the group took a trip to the towns of Mazon and Indiana. That's right, they traveled half way around the world and ended up in Indiana, Peru. (Not to be confused with Peru, Indiana.) It seems a missionary had come this town years ago from the Hoosier state, so they named the town after the mysterious state that produces horrible, horrible football teams.

The group headed into town on moto-rickshaws that were more or less completely terrifying. It was raining and these moto-rickshaws (it's a motorcycle carrying a rickshaw - very literal) had not been repaired in a while. Matt and Lynne actually ended up crashing into the moto-rickshaw in front of them, but all was well. Ha-ha, nothing to fear. Surely, the driver had everything under control.

After the ride, the group wandered through a local market. Kids followed Matt and he took their picture, then showed it to them on the digital camera, which they thought was hilarious. Then again, they may have been laughing at the mustache Matt was "growing."

The market gave a quick perspective on world economies. Bananas were three bunches for a dollar and men sat in booths stacked ceiling to floor with goods ranging from dish soap to toothbrushes. There were electronics stores, but they sold TVs from 20 years ago and computers that American inner city grade schools would have abandoned. Kids worked in other booths, or just spent the day with their parents.

But everyone was friendly and courteous to the Americans stomping through their city.

After the tour of Indiana, everyone headed back to Ceiba Tops, where they saw the lodge's namesake, the majestic Ceiba tree. The tree can grow over 200 feet tall with a trunk that is almost perfectly straight for 90 percent of the height, then fans out over the other trees in the jungle. Of course, the height and enormous trunk make it very valuable to loggers. The tree on the Ceiba Tops lodge property was basically rescued and protected - the trees are disappearing fast because preservation efforts can't keep up.

It's difficult to describe how massive the tree is. It was difficult to comprehend its enormousness even when you were standing right in front of it. Matt couldn't fit the entire tree in a picture, but to give you some scale check out the horizontal picture on the right. (You may have to click on it to enlarge.) Inside the red circle near the bottom? That's our Mrs. Lynne. It's a big tree, all right?

The day ended with a nice dinner in the lodge with Peter Jensen, the man who founded the Explorama lodges 40 years ago with $5,000 capital. Although he's retired, he was still there, serving up potatoes and filling up watermelon trays. Lynne and Matt found the Explorama experience to be all around top-notch. Good service, good variety and a great appreciation for the natural beauty of the Amazon.

Day Six Summary: One bout of skepticism followed by falling in love with air conditioning; one inconclusive scientific experiment; several brief glimpses of supposedly pink dolphins; one giant tree; one moto-rickshaw accident, non-fatal.

Mustache: Fuzzy. The little guy was really coming in now, starting to make his presence known. Even other members of the American tour group were commenting on how "stupid" and "strange" it looked. And none of them were prompted by Lynne in anyway.

Weird foods eaten: Fish soup is sort of weird, but delicious. That was breakfast.

Coming next: The best place Matt has ever been to, ever.

Honeymoon Adventures V: Lungs of the World

The day started at 5:30 a.m. with a cold, cold shower (Matt actually managed to stand - not dash through - the water for the first time), and a hike to the canopy walk. Matt had been wanting to do this since he heard about going to Peru. For the first time, the rain forest lived up to the first half of it's name.

It rained all morning as the group walked about 35 to 40 minutes to the canopies. But when everyone finally arrived, the rain finally lifted a bit and the mist began to clear - perfect for a hike on top of the trees.

The canopy walk was originally set up as a research center, a way for scientists to spend hours at the tops of trees studying monkeys, insects and birds that never touch the rain forest floor. Now, this particular walk has been turned into a tourist walk, although that phrase evokes some wrong ideas. There were no people within miles of Matt and Lynne's group.

The hike starts at the base, which is wooden structure that goes up about 40 feet. From there on, the canopy is ingeniously built into the trees - no large, obtrusive poles stuck into the rain forest. You walk on a V-shaped net with your feet on a board and your arms on the ropes on both sides. There's no chance of falling and the walkway barely, barey moves or sways because the ropes are so taught.

The canopy walk has 13 stations. You reach the highest - 121 feet - at the sixth station. That's like looking down on a 100-foot tree, some might say. (Very descriptive, dontcha think?)

However, the height was not very intimidating, because 1) it was fairly difficult to see straight to the ground because of the foliage and 2) everything around was so awe inspiring. From the highest point you could look into Peru for miles - green trees that seemed to go on forever. You could only imagine what or who was living beneath all that beauty.

Because of all the untouched trees, Lynne said she was standing in the "lungs of the world," which put your place on Earth in perspective. Lynne and Matt stood there, watching steam rise from the jungle while small black birds danced above the tree tops. It was quiet, the air was crisp and fresh, and everything was calm. Matt took a lot of deep breaths, trying to store up extra air.

Lynne and Matt took their time on the canopy walk, but it didn't take long to get across. Still, it was an unforgettable walk - a moment when you know right away it was once in a lifetime. (There'd seemed to be a bunch of those in row.)

Next, it was onto the ReNuPeRu medicinal herb garden, where the tour company is trying to preserve the ancient traditions of herbal remedies. Lynne and Matt sniffed a crush plant that seemed to burn their nostrils, tasted a leaf that numbed Matt's tongue and smelled sweet lemon grass (like Pledge!). Then everyone was offered a blessing by a shaman. He promised to make you 10 years younger.

The shaman brought you up, asked your name and then started chanting and blowing smoke into your head. It was rather odd. Then after he blew some smoke into your head (whhhhoop, whhhhooop, whhhhoop) he would "bless" (whack) you with some reeds that looked like a small broom. Lynne went first and described the experience as, "Being beat in the head."

Matt wasn't so keen on being beaten, but the shaman had already made Lynne 18. Matt wasn't going to be some creepy 30 year old dating a teenager. He got blessed, turned 19, and started having a dance party in his dorm room.

After lunch, the group took a boat ride up the Amazon to the village where Raul, the tour guide grew up. This was another of Lynne and Matt's favorite stops. OAT (the tour group) really stresses seeing how "regular" people live. You visit the tourist spots, sure. But they also take you to a small village and later we ate dinner in a family's house.

Everyone arrived in San Pedro, a little village cut out on the dry (non-marshy) side of the Amazon. Raul told the group that he was one of 16 children. His father had three wives. The first died of a snake bite and the second died in child birth. Raul's father had a very large farm so 10 kids went to college - very unusual. Raul studied to be a tour guide (his English was much better than Matt's), got married and had two kids - Raul and Megan.

When the group showed up at San Pedro, it was like the circus came to town. Kids, cows, pigs, dogs, and sheep followed everyone as they walked toward a building that housed the only phone in town. (This was a wealthy town to have a phone.) All the kids gathered in a room and they sang the Peruvian national anthem and the friendship song. All the Americans introduced themselves in Spanish. Lynne accidentally told them Matt was 300 instead of 30. This appeared to be the most hilarious joke the kids had ever heard.

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Most of the people lived in what Americans would consider shacks. There was no electricity, plumbing or running water. The houses were raised up off the ground, with a hammock or some blankets on a wooden floor. The people typically took a shallow canoe across the Amazon to their farm (where they probably grew potatoes or bananas) on the fertile (marshy) side of the river. Many of them spend their whole life in this village, punctuated by one trip into Iquitos.

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The only way to get to Iquitos (the nearest big city, where you can sell you goods) is to take a large river ferry, which takes about 24-40 hours to make a trip we made in two hours by motor boat. It cost about 3 soles for a person to ride the ferry, maybe 5 soles for a cattle and one sole for every chicken on board. (When you see that, you realize the Naperville bus drivers have really been overcharging for horses.)

At the end of the day, Lynne and Matt were tired, but fascinated. They had seen parts of the world and people they never imagined they would meet. But they couldn't help but wonder where they would be in 20 or 25 years.

Lynne and Matt saw huge boats filled with lumber hauling trees down the river - a crucial trade in the Amazon. And in these villages, the children tend to leave for the bigger city where they can get a better job, have a TV, etc. It's the way of the world that places and people evolve and change. But what is being lost?

Day Five Summary: 13 platforms above the trees; 20 years (total) lost in a shaman beating; 270 years lost in translation; one trip to a jungle village.

Mustache: Festering. It had been nearly a week and yet the mustache could get no traction. Lynne was sickened by it and Matt was sickened by the prospect that this was a lost project. Still, he soldiered on.

Weird foods eaten: None.

Coming next: Hot water!

Honeymoon Adventures V: Rum and piranhas

July 19 marked one week of married life, and Lynne was still more or less tolerating Matt's monkeyshines. (That's foreshadowing.) But there were still more pictures of her sleeping to be taken. (Also foreshadowing.)
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The day started with breakfast at 7 a.m. In the lodge, they called meal time with a jungle drum. Bum-bum-bump-bum-bum. That meant it was time for sweet pepper omelets and tasty brown bread. Lynne and Matt were still avoiding the fruit and fruit juices, which was driving Lynne absolutely crazy. But it was better than spending the honeymoon in the bathroom.

After breakfast, the group piled into a boat and headed up the Amazon to Yanamoto Medical Clinic. Although the stay was brief, this easily made Lynne and Matt's list of favorite stops. The clinic was run by Linnette Smith, a doctor from Wisconsin who came to the Amazon as a tourist, saw a need for medical help, and never left.
Essentially, people who live on the Amazon River have no access to the medical services that we take for granted. Helicopters don't land there in emergencies. The only medical clinic is in Iquitos - a two hour trip up river by speedboat, a luxury none of the regular have people. In other words: good luck getting to the hospital after you cut your leg with a machete. Which happens a lot, in the Amazon.
When Linnea Smith opened her "clinic", she had no vaccines, no latex gloves. The residents had no information on family planning and many of them believed in mixing local shaman treatments with, or substituting for, modern medicine. (It isn't unheard of for women to have dozens of children, and it isn't uncommon for them to have multiple children from one family die before they turn five.) Oh, and Dr. Smith had only watched a few baby deliveries before she arrived, never done it herself. Did we mention she had to be dentist, too? For some reason, she stuck it out.
Lynne and Matt's visit was rushed because other patients were coming by canoe to the clinic. For the first time - but not the last - Lynne and Matt started to understand that some of the things Americans assume are necessities - like sterilized hospitals - are actually luxuries. Matt later bought Dr. Smith's book La Doctora, which was especially interesting because he could picture what she was writing about.

After the doctor's office, the group headed to a rum factory, which was fascinating in a completely different way. The rum is produced by squeezing sugarcane through a huge press turned by a old, broken-down horse. At this rum factory owned by "Don" Hernando Gerra, the press had been there since the 1880s, and it still ran just fine. (At the least the horse wasn't complaining.)
Don Guerra ran his own bar and must have been quite wealthy for the area, since he sent all his daughters to school in Iquitos. He let the group sample his rums: pure sugar cane rum (ugh), molasses rum (a slightly less ugh), rum with ginger (almost palatable) and a "seven roots" rum that Don Guerra called "Viagra Rum," which everyone thought was hilarious although Matt couldn't figure out why. (It was OK.)

A quick note: It was entirely unclear how anyone knew how to get to any of these places. Although you could often see homes on the shore of the Amazon, there were no signs marking what was what. Raul, the guide, somehow knew how far to go, and when to turn on to tributaries that were as wide as the Fox River, but could barely be seen from the middle of the Amazon. And, to think, Matt gets lost on a well-marked highway, with a GPS, and Lynne.

After the rum factory, everyone headed to Explornapo Lodge, where they would spend two nights. It's not the most primitive lodge in the Explorama chain, but it was a "step down" from the first place. Rooms were even more basic - just the two beds, a book case and a sheet for a window. (A bat flew into one person's room.) The bathrooms were standard outhouses. Although they weren't very smelly, the men had to share the room with a parrot. (Click on the picture on the right and look in the upper left hand corner.) The showers were in another building and they were stone cold.

The group arrived around 10:45 a.m. and had free time. There was lots of free time on this trip, but nowhere to go. (You can't just wander through the jungle, although Matt wanted to.) During this time, Lynne and Matt would head straight for the hammock huts, perhaps mankind's greatest inventions. (Along with portable toilets and Diet Coke.) At the Explornapo hammock hut, the visitors were joined by Raul I, II and III - three jungle chickens who seemed to really like Matt, and Charlie, a giant jungle rodent who was incredibly friendly.

After lunch (pineapple chicken, rice and corn), it was time for piranha fishing. That's right FISHING FOR DEADLY, MAN-EATING PIRANHAS!! This is one of those experiences Matt couldn't wait for. While there would be more breath-taking and spectacular adventures on the trip, fishing for piranhas is one of those handy little phrases to have in your pocket at parties, like "sky diving" and "hiking the Grand Canyon".

Partygoer One: "I am having a really interesting month. I organized over 200 T.P.S. reports and I shoveled the driveway twice. What'd you do?"
Matt: "Who me? Oh, not much, I guess. I was just pulling MAN-EATING DEADLY KILLER PIRANHAS OUT OF THE AMAZON RIVER!!"
Partygoer One: Stunned silence.

Anyhow, back in reality, the piranha fishing. Raul navigated down an Amazon tributary, until he found an obscure spot under a random tree that he assured the group would be good for piranha fishing. As usual, he was right.
The fishing poles were basic: a stick, with fishing wire tied to a metal hook - no reel. The hook was baited with raw, bloody beef.
The fishing technique was equally simple. First, you'd splash the end of your pole on top of the water to simulate something falling in. Next, toss in the meat and wait for a nibble. Hooking the fish was the trick. When you felt the bite, you had to yank up on the pole as quickly as possible. Unlike fishing for bass, where the fish bites into the hook, you were basically trying to snag the nearby fish by yanking the hook into him.
Lynne caught one, but he slipped off the hook before she could haul him in. (Which was just fine, really, because she was terrified. Of a fish.) But Matt....well, after a few tries Matt caught A MAN-EATING BLOOD-THIRSTY DEADLY PIRANHA WITH HIS BARE HANDS!!! Wait, no. Not with his bare hands. On the pole. But indeed Matt snagged a red-bellied piranha, which Raul said are the most aggressive. And what reason did anyone have to doubt him? But, to prove his point, Raul unhooked the piranha and held Matt's fish up to another piranha that someone else had been caught. Matt's piranha - which by now had been out of the water for at least a minute - kept eating the other fish. Crazy. It was easily the most manly moment in Matt's life. (Although, to be clear, the competition for that consisted of mostly cross country races and sort of yelling at a state representative once.)

After the piranha fishing, Raul took the group to a "black lake." These are formed when the river, which is snaking back and forth, finally breaks off and forms a lake. A black U-shaped lake is left in the middle of the jungle. The lake is deep black from the acids in the trees. Without any wind, it's still and blazing hot out there. Raul slowly, silently paddled everyone along the lake and pointed out three-toed sloths and tropical birds. Matt took some pictures of the sloth, but when they got home the pictures looked like, "Hey a tree!" And, "Another tree! Great!"

Finally, it was back to the lodge where for dinner Matt ate MAN-EATING PIRANHAS!!! Really, this time. Raul grilled up the piranhas that were caught that night and served them up. But no one besides Matt wanted to taste the fish. Maybe it was because the eyes and teeth were still attached?
The piranha tasted pretty good - like salmon - but there wasn't much meat there. I guess Matt neglected to mention that these piranhas were not even as big as his hand. (Didn't sound as manly.) But Matt tried it, which amazed Lynne because Matt won't eat chicken soup. (He has a ban on all floating food.)

Day Five Summary: Three toes on sloths; two caught piranhas, one escaped; zero flights; one Wisconsin doctor in the Amazon; four rum samples

Mustache: Annoying. At this point, it should be noted that Lynne was beginning to hate The 'Stache and actively campaining for it's destruction

Weird foods eaten: Water buffalo, piranha (Matt only)

Coming next: Walking above the trees and a beating from a Shaman

Note: If you read this earlier and noticed the typos, sorry! It posted too early, accidentally.

Honeymoon Adventures IV: Amazonian arrival

July 18th started early, checking out of the hotel at 3 a.m. to make it to the airport for a 4:55 a.m. flight to Iquitos. (By the way, Peru is on CST, same as Chicago.) The early flights were wearing on Lynne and Matt and it didn't help that the flight was delayed for weather, then repairs, then re-fueling. The plane finally took off at 7:15 but when it landed, they were in another world.
Iquitos had clear blue skies. The airport was a glorified hangar, with the shells of old "dead" planes scattered around the runway. Not very comforting. Lynne and Matt met their new guide Raul, then boarded an mahogany bus with no front windshield. The air was incredibly still - no breeze at all - which made the heat even stickier.

They began the ride through Iquitos, which was typical of many Peruvian cities. Other than the occasional bus, the streets were clogged with motorcycles and "moto-rickshaws", a hybrid rickshaw and motorbike that drove people around like taxis. Motorcycle riders carried groceries and babies, dodging in and out of lanes haphazardly. There's very little refrigeration in Iquitos so the sidewalks were jammed with people going to the market, buying fruits, vegetables and even a few live chickens. (Click on any picture to enlarge it.)

After the ride through Iquitos, Lynne and Matt boarded a sort of hybrid speed boat/passenger boat for the 1-1/2 ride going up the Amazon River. Like seeing the Grand Canyon, describing the enormity of the Amazon is difficult. It's so big, it looks like a lake except that - of course - it has a current. The size even skews the current so it's difficult to gauge how fast the water is moving. Until, of course, you see a tree floating down river. Understandably, Lynne fell asleep on the boat ride and Matt used the opportunity to grab another picture of her snoozing. He's quite a husband.

Finally, Lynne and Matt arrived at the Explorama Lodge, part of a group of Amazon lodges set up by a former American who visited once and never left. Now, he runs these four amazing low-impact lodges, which range from no electricity and plumbing to air conditioning and an outdoor pool.
Matt and Lynne checked into their room, which had it's own toilet and shower - a pleasant surprise. Their room was a book shelf, wooden floor and two twin beds covered in mosquito netting. There were sheets hanging over the "windows" and no screens. There were walls between rooms, but they didn't reach the ceiling, so you could hear all the nasty things the other people were saying about you.

After lunch - fried fish and yucca - it was a short hike through the rain forest. Raul grabbed a poison dart frog, then showed everyone armadillo and tarantula holes and massive termite nests. Raul also picked a berry that was not only used as body paint (Matt was given chief markings and immediately protested himself as a racist stereotype) but also as a mosquito repellent.

After a 10-minute walk, the group arrived at a Yagua village. Lynne and Matt saw some traditional dances and even got drafted to join in. Six days into a married life and Matt was holding hands with a half naked Amazon woman, dancing around a fire. And yet, Lynne didn't leave him in the jungle. She may yet regret that decision.

After the dancing, the Yagua showed everyone how they use their blow dart guns. In real life, they capture a baby monkey, then lure the other monkeys in with its crying. Luckily, there was no monkey torture for Lynne and Matt. Still, they did get to try their ...hand?... at blow dart practice. Matt hit the target on the first try. (Watch out Peter Tork!) It took Lynne three tries, but then she nailed him in the heart. Seeing that, Matt did not dare make another false move the entire trip.
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After the blow dart demonstration, Lynne and Matt bought some crafts from the Yagua, mostly bracelets or masks that the young people had made. They were ridiculously cheap. Lynne bought a mask that took a young man days to make for less than $5 US. This was the first exposure for Lynne and Matt to one of the other conflicts of Peruvian life. For the most part, the young people have no desire to stay in these remote Amazonian villages. They want to go into Iquitos, where there are better paying jobs and good schools and discos and TVs and doctors...and so on.

Basically, visitors are watching these villages die, in slow motion. Raul estimated that in 20 years, the Yagua village would no longer exist. The elder tribesman will be dead; the young will all have left. You can't blame the young people who want - and deserve - a better life. And yet, clearly something is being lost.

After the Yagua village, it was back to the lodge for dinner: water buffalo (tasted like beef!) and rice. Then, it was time for the first of the nightly nature excursions, where Raul took everyone on a motor boat along a branch off the Napo River. Somehow, in the middle of the pitch-black night, Raul was somehow able to spot butterflies, bullfrogs and - oh yeah - a snake that was hanging in a tree right above Lynne's head. It's the only time Matt's ever seen Lynne scared of anything. And she liked it even more when Raul shook the tree so everyone could see the slithery little guy even better.
It was a great first day in the Amazon. And it just got better.

Day Four Summary: Two dances with half naked women; four blow dart attempts, two successful; one shaken snake; one taste of water buffalo

Mustache Update: Flimsy