Mark of Fridays: Read all about it

Mark of Fridays: Apple pickin' good time

After playing baseball for Mark's birthday, it was time to pick apples for Lynne's birthday, an annual tradition. This year, the Hanleys headed for Honey Hill Orchard , an old-school orchard in Waterman.
The kids loved it!

Quotation Mark Mondays: Marks loves mom

Matt: You went to the park?
Mark: Yeah, we played there with boys and girls.
Matt: Oh, girls, too, huh. Were they pretty?
Mark: Yeah. But not as pretty as mom.


(After a day where Lynne took Mark on some big activity.)
Matt: Make sure you tell mom thank you.
Later
Mark: Mom, thanks for making me be born.
Lynne: Oh, you're welcome. Did you just want to thank me for taking you out today?
Mark: Yeah, but I had to be born first!

Mark of Fridays: AU graduation

As many of you know, Matt has changed his career course. About two years ago, he started taking elementary education classes at Aurora University. His last day at the Beacon-News was Jan. 4.

The reasons for leaving the newspaper industry are pretty obvious, but so is the choice to go into education. Matt loved newspapers because it was a chance to make his community a better place. Hey, schools do that, too!
And a second reason: Matt has a plethora of incredibly gifted teachers in his family that he can steal good ideas from!

Anyhow, after a year and a half of night classes, and four months of student teaching in a fifth grade class in Naperville, Matt graduated from Aurora University with his family in the audience.

There were so many people who helped make this proud day possible. Grandparents who babysat kids, offered up meals and gave support; sisters/cousins/sisters-in-law/wives who suggested lesson plan ideas and activities; bosses who let Matt out early; teachers who mentored Matt; and a wife who said, "Sure, let's turn our lives upside down!" Lynne did a yeoman's work without complaining.
Matt just feels like the luckiest guy in the world.

Mark wearing his dad's "funny hat".

Mark of Fridays - Anne edition

 

Mark of Fridays: How to Make a Jack-o-Lantern

Step 1:  Choose the right pumpkin.  Be sure to wear the proper hat for the occasion.

Step 2:  Watch Mom cut off the top and inspect the insides.  Be careful not to touch them.

Step 3:  Draw on face.  Purple crayon works best for this.

 

Step 4:  Help Mom cut out eyes, nose.

Step 5:  Inspect closely as the mouth is being cut out.  Insist on as many teeth as possible.  At least 6, for sure.

Step 6:  Name pumpkin.   A girl's name--Erin, perhaps--is best, regardless of possible holiday confusion.
Pose next to completed pumpkin and say Cheese!





Mark of Fridays: Mommy Elmo

Mommy Elmo is Mark's favorite Guy.  All of the other Guys - Murray, Grover, Knuffle Bunny, and Baby Elmo - are required to be in the bed if Mark is going to do any sleeping.  He talks to them, sings them songs, and tells them stories (sometimes for hours) as he's falling asleep.  If a Guy falls (or jumps) out of bed in the process, Mark yells until Mommy or Daddy comes in to retrieve him.

From left to right: Mommy Elmo, Mark, Baby Elmo

But Mommy Elmo (so named because she's bigger than, and is clearly the mommy of Baby Elmo) is special. Mark sleeps with her tucked under him, as if he's afraid she'll escape. And if we let him, he takes her everywhere: in the sandbox, down slides, to the zoo.

Needless to say, Mommy Elmo is very dirty.  Her fur is matted and brownish.  Her eyes - once white - are gray. 

She's so gross that strangers comment on her.  They tell their children not to touch - that Elmo is so dirty.  One mother asked if Mommy Elmo was a hand-me-down, in disbelief that Mark could've done so much damage to her in his short, toddler lifetime.

But we can't wrestle her off Mark for long enough to give her a bath.  Plus, he says, Mommy Elmo is afraid of the dryer.

Then, on Monday night, Mommy Elmo was forgotten at Grandma's.  Matt packed her in Mark's bag for the day, then Lynne left the bag at Grandma's house.  We realized our mistake at bedtime, when Mark said she was missing.


Mark and Mommy Elmo, participating
in one of the activities that
made her prematurely gray.


We searched the house, hoping she was hiding somewhere.  No dice.

We told Mark that all of the other Guys could keep him company, just this once.  He wailed.

Lynne said that Mommy Elmo had asked to sleepover at Grandma's because Grandma needed a Guy to snuggle.  He screamed 'No!', kicked, screamed, and cried. 

"Tell Grandma to bring her here!" he yelled.

Matt told Mark an elaborate story about his own favorite toy, Humpty Dumpty, and how he sometimes let Humpty stay with Aunt Megan when she was a little girl. 

"So she won't be alone?"  Mark asked, tears welled up in his eyes. Yes, just like Mommy Elmo was helping Grandma to not be alone. Then Mark cried that he was alone and wanted Mommy Elmo right now.

By this point it was clear that Mark would not go to sleep without Mommy Elmo.  Lynne called Grandma and arranged to meet up, so we could bring Mommy Elmo home.  The Mommy Elmo hand-off was done in a Walgreens parking lot.  It took 20 minutes, round trip.

Mark was still awake when Lynne got home, talking away. 

"Mommy Elmo!" he said.  He did a deep sigh, then tucked Mommy Elmo underneath him.  "Now I am happy." 

---

"Did you really share Humpty with your sister when you were a kid?" Lynne asked, when she got back downstairs.

"No way," Matt replied.  "But he doesn't know that."

Mark of Fridays: Mommy and Daddy

Do you also get the feeling that these two pictures sum up all of Mark's future parental interactions?

Greetings from Poo Land

From: Matt
Sent: Wednesday, February 29, 2012 11:07 AM
To: Lynne

Greetings from Poo Land.
In case your mom asks why I was a bit disoriented, disorganized this morning....

Even before I got to the door, I knew there was going to be a situation. That certain nose-burning odor was already obvious from the hallway. I steeled myself a bit and tried to remember if we had enough wipes in there. I was discouraged, but not overwhelmed; I'd handled the Door Penetrating Poos before.
When I opened the door, the smell was worse than I had imagined. A thousand rotting potatoes? Ten dead skunks? I don't know the proper metaphor here. It was bad. Twenty years from now when he's graduating college, I will still be able to recall this distinct odor.
There was Mark sitting his bed, smiling.
"I make a poo, daddy!"
Indeed.
There was what can only be described as a "significant amount" of poo on his pillow and blanket. (Significant: distinctly more than a spot, less than substantial.)
"I make a poo daddy and Grover jump out of the bed!"
Grover was, in fact, on the ground. He probably threw himself overboard. Every monster for himself in these situations.
I grabbed the pillow out of the bed right away. Of course, Mark started crying, apparently unaware of the gravity of the situation.
"Don't throw away my pillow, daddy! Don't throw away my pillow!"
I reassured him that the pillow would be safe. Add it to the yes-those-are-orange-french-fries and dad's-going-to-take-nap-too lies that I said I'd never tell.
Next, I snatched Mark out of bed. He seemed oblivious to the smell which was now clinging to me like a spider web. I think my nose will need therapy.
It was clear this was an immediate bath situation. I peeled his shirt off without causing further damage. Oddly, his pants were completely clean. Not a spot on them. The poo must have rocketed out at such a speed and force that it bypassed the pants. I can't explain that part of the story. Maybe the pants were spared so they could go on to some greater destiny. I burned them anyways.
Anyhow, Mark was excited by the prospect of a morning bath and I think he believes we're going to do this every Wednesday. I hope that is not the case.
While I filled the bathtub, I tried to use the hand wipes to get the poop off his back, etc. None of this seemed to phase him. When I finally got the diaper off, I think it weighed three pounds. No joke. No wonder he was happy. He probably felt relieved.
Anyhow, we got in the bath. Of course, he didn't want to get out very soon which I approved of. As he played a little, I kept trying to find bags to wrap the diaper in layer after layer of plastic. I sent it to the hallway, but it was not far enough away.
When we were done with the bath, it was time to get dressed. As he got ready, I surveyed the damage. Mark reminded me again not to throw away his pillow. I told him that I wasn't going to throw it away, but it needed to be cleaned because it had poopy on it. I told him that a lot of things needed to be cleaned because there was a lot of poopy on a lot of things. I told him that he was a good boy and he did a good job telling me about the poopy when I came in, but we needed to clean a lot of things.
"You don't need to clean the closet, daddy. There's no poopy on the closet doors, Daddy."
I conceded that that he had not gotten poopy on the closet doors on the other side of the room. Somehow that perspective actually made me feel a little better.
Anyhow, I sent him off with your mom and he was as happy as ever, pretending to make Elmo yell "I'm rojo! I'm rojo!" as he got in the car. I took some solace knowing Elmo had come out of this experience unscathed, both emotionally and poo-wise.
I think I used half our wipes scraping poop off blankets, pillow, sheets. I kept telling myself that someone did this for me once, someone did this for me once, someone did this for me once. It actually helped during the roughest patches. (Windows were open, obviously.)
So I was late for work and the blanket is washed. (Yes, I washed it on cold and I put the spray on first.) I'm not confident it can be saved, but that may be the nose trauma talking. It looked ok. I threw in the sheets, pillow cases and clothes (his and mine). I put in the pear soaked clothes from yesterday, too.
I really should have filmed the whole thing as a teen sex ed video. Hey, teens: having kids is a life affirming and amazing experience. You will learn things about life and yourself that you never imagined.
But unless you are ready to spend a morning scraping poo off a pillow and blanket by hand, then you should probably hold off.

Mark of Fridays: A long trip

A few weeks ago, Mark, Lynne and Matt took the train downtown to look at the lights and sights.

Because of this book, Mark thought the train was taking him to Hawaii. Sadly, no such luck.

But a good time was had by all anyhow. Mark got to see the bean and the faces on the big wall.

Mark thought he could change the colors by pushing on the wall. Who knows? Maybe he could.

"Stop talking about me!" Tom said swiftly.

So what do you do when you're a big nerd and you're married to a big nerd and your sister is a big nerd? You get in a Tom Swifty War, that's what.
Yep. Serious Nerd Alert.
For about two weeks Lynne and Matt engaged in a furious Swifty War with Megan and Josh.
It all started with some Tom Swifties on a bathroom calendar. That prompted Matt to begin sending Swifties to Megan, unannounced and unexplained. She retaliated with her own Swifties. Suddenly, the Great Swifty Nerd War of 2011 was in full bloom. It still hasn't officially ended.
What's a Swifty? Well, there's a pretty good explanation on Wikipedia here. But they're probably best explained with the examples below, taken from the GSNWo2011.

MEGAN and JOSH

“You are going to have to scrub a lot harder to get that rust off, you idiot!” Tom said abrasively.

“Ah, those birds are really lovely,” Tom tweeted.

"You already said that," Tom repeated.

"I'm going to punch you in the face," Tom said abusively.

"I really have to get this done before I vomit," Tom said feverishly.

"These pencils need sharpening," Tom said dully.

"I would like some Chinese food," Tom said wantonly.

"This road is going to --," Tom said abrubtly.

"I need my sunglasses," Tom said brightly.

"These pretzels are making me thirsty," Tom said saltily.

"The train is fast approaching," Tom said flatly.

"I just visited Wisconsin," Tom said cheesily.

LYNNE

"I really thought she'd smack me for that comment," Tom said unabashedly.

"But I really thought I earned an 'A' on this paper," Tom bemoaned.

"I can't be too late for the meat giveaways," Tom said mistakenly.

"I feel best when I'm naked," Tom disclosed.

"I think I calculated your grade on this test incorrectly," Tom remarked.

"Don't cross those wires!" Tom said shockingly.

"I think there's a cat stuck in the air conditioning system," Tom said fervently.

"I love to eat beans," Tom said breezily.

"It's time to stop," Tom said haltingly.

MATT

"I think I'm in love with a goat," Tom kidded.

"Was that Matt's butt?" Tom asked cheekily.

"Be quiet and leave this place," Tom shouted.

"I'm at the doctor's office," Tom said patiently.

"I know we broke up but no one else is going to date her!" Tom exclaimed.

"I took me two tries, but I knocked over all the pins," Tom said sparingly.

So, here's the contest: the best Swifty posted in the comment section wins a free night of babysitting! And we won't stay out late!

Mark of Fridays: G is for Gorilla

Another Hanley in the news

Well, the Pulitzers were announced last week and Matt was tragically overlooked. Again.
But, there are other Hanleys in the news: Lynne was in the local paper for the work she did helping to organize a shoe drive at the high school!
Check out the story here. They didn't even misquote her.
So, she's not only a great mom and great wife, she's a pretty awesome person. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Mark of Fridays: A boy who wears many hats

Here's some photos from the most recent celebration of Hat Night at our house.

Wait. What?

You don't have a Hat Night at your house? That makes you the weirdo.
Everybody we know has a Hat Night, where they take out the box of hats and try them on.

Happy Hat Night, everyone who is not weird!

Mark of Fridays: Mommy and me

At the Pink Ribbon Run last weekend.

Great grandma and Uncle Josh got first-place medals!

Mark would have won his age group but he was disqualified for being overly cute.

Happy Mother's Day!

As soon as Mark and Mommy met, it was True Love.

Mommy loved Mark.
Mark loved Mommy.

She smelled nice.
She sounded nice.











As he got older, Mark grew fast.


But Mommy and Mark's love grew faster.
















Oh sure, sometimes Mark wears her out.












And there may have been a few surprises.
(Like the time Daddy painted Mark blue?)














But there's no doubt about who is Mark's True Love.


Happy Mother's Day!