Mark of Fridays: Ho ho ho!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

We got just we wanted for Christmas!

"They're going to have Christmas every year? Are you serious?!?"

"What do you mean there's only coal in my stocking?!?"

"I'm pretty sure I belong on the nice list, Santa."

"Do I smell egg nog? Yum."

The three-month Mark

Mark Hanley, at three months
Best friends: Of course I love all of my family, but I'm having lots of fun with my grandmas! It's so great that they come and watch me during the day. It makes me feel like a real lady's man.
Enemies: Naperville Central High School and The Aurora Beacon-News. I know Mommy and Daddy love their jobs, but I miss them! Waaaa!
Just found out about: All these things hanging off my stomach and butt. (I think they're called 'arms' and 'legs'?) Guess what? I own those things! I can move them any which way I want. If I hear Mommy singing 'Here Comes Santa Claus' I can wave them up and down. If Dad's dancing like a monkey, I can put them in my mouth! If someone takes the bottle, I can try to grab on to it. Why didn't anyone tell me about this?!?
I'm not so sure about: This thumb thing. I've been trying it out a little, but I'd still rather try to shove my whole hand in my mouth, knuckle first. I'm sure you usually do the same thing.
Favorite activities: OK, last month I invented with smiling. That was awesome. It's working out great. Everyone's copying me. But that's sooo last month. This month, I invented giggling and making 'coo' noises. Let's see you copy that!
Things I don't like: Sleeping on my back. I know, I know - everyone in the world tells you babies are never, every supposed to sleep on their stomach, no matter what! Danger, Will Robinson, danger!
Pffft, I say. My Mom and Dad slept on his back and so did all my aunts and uncles. Sleeping on your back is for amateurs, and people who don't punch themselves in the face during slumber. When you sleep on your tummy, you can stick your whole hand in your mouth any time you want. How great is that?
I have a crush on: Sleeping through the night. Oh yeah, it is pretty sweet. From 10:30 p.m. to 7 a.m. I am in this amazing place where I can have all the bottles I can ever imagine, unlimited diaper changes and 5 million games of peekaboo. And, if I get bored with staying up during the day, I can grab another two hours of sleep. It's pretty sweet.
Major accomplishments: I can sleep for eight straight hours. I smile for an hour straight. When Mom is walking down the stairs, I can spot her from 10 feet away, every time. Plus, I spent zero-point-zero days in the hospital. Hooray!

Mark of Fridays: They're gonna put me in the movies

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a moving picture is worth like half a million smiles, at least.

Things learned, so far

Recently, a friend asked Matt what he's learned since Mark came home. An interesting question. After some long pondering, here's what Matt came up with:

- The best things in the world are family and good friends. The second best things are: time to spend with family and naps.
- It's amazing how fast you can learn the body language signals of a little person who cannot speak.
- Television is a horrible, terrible invention. Watching it night and day makes Matt scared for this country's future.
- You think you know the words to nursery rhymes, but you really don't. And then when you look them up, they're either creepy or completely insane. ("And down will come baby, cradle and all...")
- Having a baby with you makes it significantly easier to shoplift. Not only does is the child a distraction to store security, the stroller provides many places to hide fairly large items. Merry Christmas, indeed!
- Putting your hand in poo: no big deal.
- Kids don't like scratchy beards. Even sporadic, pathetic, should-be-on-a-teenager beards.
- Sometimes you're proud when your kid is feeling two foot tall.
- A kid who sits around doing nothing all day, contributing nothing to the house, having no possessions and no knowledge, can still be the most valuable and amazing thing in your home.

Baby power!

No, Matt isn't a stay-at-home dad. (Sadly.) But, that doesn't mean he has time to be running around the neighborhood all day. That's why it's good to know there are resources out there to help him stay most physically fit at all times.

- - - - .

Mark of Fridays: Weird baby stories

Once in a very, very great while, when Mark is being especially fussy -thrashing and screaming like the Mets just traded David Wright - Lynne and Matt will think that this baby-raising stuff is tough.

Pffffft.
Please.

They didn't have a 19-pound baby. Or a premature 15-pound baby.

They didn't give birth on a flight from Chicago to Salt Lake City, which a doctor tying off the umbilical cord with a shoelace.

He didn't have a foot in his brain.

So, what's a little fussiness?

Hall of Agonizing Debates

Well, the Hall of Fame ballots are out again. And Matt feels compelled to weigh on who should or should not be elected. Somehow, it seems unfair to judge the worth of men's Major League career when Matt couldn't make the high school freshman team.
But in Matt's defense it's so much fun to debate this stuff! And it is brutally cold out and thinking about baseball is a welcome alternative to scraping car windows.
Now, there a plenty of holdovers on the ballot, so Matt's not going to go in-depth on players he wrote about last year - unless his opinion has changed. And it has.

A quick reminder on Matt's Hall-of-Fame criteria:
One, player should have a decade of excellence.
Two, some semblance of an all-around game.
Three, MVP awards, Cy Youngs, all-star selections count.
Four, no "magic numbers." In other words, 500 homers isn't a free pass. (Cough. Gary Sheffield. Cough.)
Five, excellence in the post season.
Six, and least reliable: the player should make you stop in you tracks. It's a bit nebulous - kind of a you-know-it-when-you-see-it quality. Albert Pujols has it. Mark Teixeira doesn't.

OK, on to the players. (* players new to the ballot)

No way: Kevin Appier*, Ellis Burks*, Pat Hentgen*, Mike Jackson*, Eric Karros*, Ray Lankford*, Shayne Reynolds*, David Segui*, Todd Zeile*. Lankford and Segui should be this year's poison pill players. If you vote for either of them, you lose your right to participate in the Hall of Fame balloting. Vote for Reynolds and you lose your fingers.

Nice career, but not close to Hall of Fame:
Robin Ventura.* I really like Ventura and he's someone I always wanted to have on my team. But he's not a Hall of Famer.
Andres Galarraga. Please. He bulked up at the end of his career, and his numbers benefited from...playing in Colorado.
Alan Trammell. Not sure why the big push for Trammell, other than he's a nice guy. There's dozens of shortstops who were better.

They were very good players and you might have liked to have them in your team's lineup but they aren't Hall of Famers:
Harold Baines. Very nice career. Good hitter. Great? Not really.
Barry Larkin.* Matt suspects there will be a lot of love for the career Red and 1995 MVP. But was he great? A 12-time All-Star, although his last appearance was literally a mercy pick. .295 lifetime average, 198 homers and 379 steals. Again, this is not the Hall of Very Good.
Edgar Martinez.* See Harold Baines, only not as durable - even though he DH'd for most of his career. 300 homers, .312 average, two batting titles and twice in the top 10 for MVP. But he was nowhere near as good as Will Clark, who isn't even considered for the Hall.
Don Mattingly. Great hitter, but not for long enough. Injuries held him back. And just because other people in the Hall had worse career numbers - Hack Wilson - doesn't mean the future Dodgers manager should get in.
Lee Smith. Same question as last year: If there's two outs in the ninth and your team is up by one run, how many guys would you hand the ball to before you thought of Smith?
Dave Parker. Some spectacular years and a lot of below average ones. Did himself in.
Tim Raines. Like Smith, his numbers look better than they really were. He was a very good ballplayer. But among the all-time greats? Honestly? What great moment do you associate with The Rock?

The Almosts But Not Quite:
Bert Blyleven. Hall of Fame person, maybe even a Hall of Fame broadcaster. His stats accumulated well. Still a borderline no.
Dale Murphy. Like Blyleven, a very, very uncomfortable no. But no protests in Cooperstown if he is elected. Two MVPS is nothing to sneeze at.
Fred McGriff.* Twice led the league in homers and had eight seasons with 100+ RBIs. Four times in the top 10 MVP voting and a five-time All Star. A .303 lifetime postseason average, including four World Series homers. No Gold Gloves and wasn't a base stealer. Steadily good, but never spectacular. Always sort of second banana on his team, like a low-rent Scottie Pippen. You knew he was good, but you were never sure if he could shine on his own. Ugh, this is an agonizing case, particularly because he'd get 50 more votes if he'd hit seven more homers. No, but Matt could certainly be convinced.
Mark McGwire. Yep, Matt moved him down even though Big Mac added no new plate appearances in the last year. But it has nothing to do with steroids. OK, it has something to do with steroids because Matt deflates those 573 home runs a bit knowing they were artificially enhanced. But here's the real reason: McGwire couldn't run, wasn't a great fielder and couldn't hit for average. So if you lower his home run total, what's left? Next year Matt will probably change his mind again.

Yes, they should be in, although it's not a slam dunk:
Roberto Alomar.* Every instinct made Matt not want to vote for Roberto Alomar. Partly because Alomar was a jerk. Partly because he faded so fast and so dramatically, but made sure to steal money from the White Sox and Mets on his way out. But, darn it, for 10 years Alomar could do it all at second base: field beautifully (10 Gold Gloves), steal bases and hit for average as well as power. Plus, he came up big when it counted. This isn't the sweet guy Hall of Fame. He was a great second baseman.
Andre Dawson. Dawson could still do it all - run, field and bash - and he did for 10+ years. Matt can understand the arguments against him, too. But if Dawson was a Yankee, he'd be polishing his plaque by now. And he was certainly better than Jim Rice. He's probably most likely to be elected this year.
Jack Morris. OK, so Matt changed his mind on this one, too. Yes, Morris has a nasty ERA (3.90). But he had 254 wins and more than 2,400 strike outs. And, dang it, he was a workhorse and straight money in the big games. Matt says he should be in. For now.

Absolutely, no doubt: Nobody
This year's class is weak so it could be a good chance for a borderline player like Dawson. Or, it could mean no one gets in. But the upcoming classes are stacked, with one exception.
2011: Jeff Bagwell, Rafael Palmeiro, the immortal Benito Santiago, Ugueth Urbina (would make an interesting induction speech)
2012: The best candidates are Jeromy Burnitz and Bernie Williams. Uh, no.
2013: Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Craig Biggio, Curt Schilling, Sammy Sosa, Mike Piazza, Kenny Lofton. Wow. That will make for some good debates.
2014: Tom Glavine, Jeff Kent, Greg Maddux, Mike Mussina, Frank Thomas, and, of course, Steve Trachsel

What's fun now is that for some of those guys Matt watched their entire careers. Of course, that makes Matt feel very, very old, too.
But why believe Matt?
Keith Olbermann has his opinions on the Baseball Nerd Blog, not that Matt agrees with all his assessments. (Lee Smith led the league in saves more times than Mariano Rivera, so he should be in. Um, Rivera's done a few things Smith never did.)

Mark of Fridays: Ole Mr. Big Head

An update on an ongoing issue:
Mark went to the doctor this week for a regular check up. He's healthy as a horse, only with less whinny.
At 22-3/4 inches, he's in the 25th percentile for height. At 12 pounds, 12 ounces, he's in the 60th percentile for weight.
And that melon? 85th percentile.
He's got a big head. To hold his giant brain.

A real diaper dandy, baby! Whoa Illini!

Matt isn't claiming that just because Wednesday night was the first Illinois basketball game Mark ever watched, and it happened to be game in which the Illini set a school record for the biggest comeback in school history - overcoming a 23-point deficit in the second half to beat No. 19 Clemson (on the road!) - means that Mark is an Illinois good luck charm and that he will go to the U of I, where he will be the point guard on the 2029 National Championship team. No, Matt cannot guarantee that.

After all, Mark could conceivably be a shooting guard.

Oh, and Mark will never know that Matt almost turned the game off at halftime. When he hears the story Matt will have never given up on the Illini.