Matt's playoff review/preview

The White Sox game just finished. Wow.

Hello from the baseball capital of the universe. (OK, along with you, LA.)
Let the playoffs begin!

Somehow, Matt was lucky enough to see seven of the eight playoff teams this year. If the Mets hadn't let him down, Matt could have had a nearly improbable clean sweep.

This year's playoffs should be great. (Check out the match-ups at baseball reference.) On the plus side, the games will have a lot of big stars: Kazmir, Crawford, Longoria, Utley, Howard, Hamels, Zambrano, Soto, Lee, Fielder, Braun, Sabathia, Buehrle, Thome, Konerko, Griffey, Teixeira, Lackey, Guerrero, K-Rod, Jenks, Papelbon, Beckett, Papi, K-Rod, Ramirez, Ramirez and Ramirez.
On the down side, no Mets. Stupid Mets.

Matt spent the night scouring his bookcase for the scorecards from the games he went to this year, so he could provide you with his spellbinding insight into the playoff squads (excepting the Phils).

Saturday, May 24
Angels 2, White Sox 0
Lynne and Matt's bachelorette/bachelor parties. Vlad the Impaler hit a home run, but pitching was the star. Johnny Danks and Jared Weaver were both awesome. If the Sox can get to the second round, these two might face each other again.

Saturday, June 14
Tigers 12, Dodgers 7
Matt and his dad drove to Detroit for this game. If you had asked Matt after this game who was going to the playoffs he would have given the Tigers a better shot than L.A. The Dodgers looked horrible; Brad Penny got knocked around pretty good. Of course, at this point Manny was still wearing a Boston uniform. Unlike, the next game Matt went to...

Monday, Aug. 11
Red Sox 5, White Sox 1
Again, another possible second round match-up: Beckett vs. Danks. Danks was perfect for 6-1/3 innings, but then the wheels came off a bit. Beckett was awesome for eight, then Papelbon finished it off. Which is exactly what the Red Sox will try to do in the playoffs. Incidentally, Lynne and Matt sat really close to Carlos Quentin. He really does look like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

Sunday, Aug. 16
Twins 11, Mariners 8
The only game Matt went to not featuring at least one playoff team, although the Twins got as close as you can possibly get without making it. On the way home from a wedding, Lynne and Matt met Adam at the game. Matt was happy to see Ichiro play, even in a horrible stadium like the Metrodome. The Twins were up 8-0 and somehow they still needed Joe Nathan to save this one.
In a somewhat related note, Matt noticed after Tuesday's Twins-Sox game that all the best, established relievers are in the AL: Papelbon, Jenks, Nathan, Rivera, K-Rod.
Wood, Lidge, Valverde are pretty good, but not yet established. Hoffman's probably the best NL reliever with a track record but he's pretty old. Wagner may be done.

Saturday, Aug. 23
Rays 5, White Sox 3
Kazmir vs. Vasquez, another possible playoff preview. (Matt saw a lot of good pitching this year.) The Sox looked good, except for the eighth inning when they gave up four runs. Jermaine Dye did hit two home runs, but the Sox couldn't manufacture a run. It's going to be the same battle this week.

Monday, Sept. 1
Mets 4, Brewers 2
Santana struck out 10 and Carlos Delgado hit a bomb. Yet, that doesn't really matter, does it? In other news, Sheets had to leave after 5 innings despite giving up no runs and two hits. Foreshadowing.

Wednesday, Sept. 17
Brewers 6, Cubs 2
Aramis Ramirez hit a nice line drive home run, but the Cubs didn't have much going this night. For the Brew Crew, Sheets had to come out after the second inning, despite only giving up a run. He hasn't been the same since.

Thursday, Sept. 18
Cubs 7, Brewers 6 (12 innings)
This was a great game - one you didn't think the Brewers would recover from. The Brewers stupidly ran themselves out of the eighth inning, but the Cubs were still down four runs. The Brewers got the first two outs in the ninth. Somehow, the Cubs rallied and Geovany Soto hit a three-run homer to tie the game. The Cubs won in the 12th to put the magic number at one.

OK, onto Matt's division series predictions:

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Boston Red Sox (1-0 in games Matt saw) vs. Los Angeles Angels (1-0)
Matt's prediction: Angels in 3 games

Comment: The Red Sox are good. The Angels are really, really good.

Tampa Bay Rays (1-0) vs. Chicago White Sox (0-3)
Matt's prediction: White Sox in 5

Comment: Experience and good starting pitching edges out the team of the future.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Los Angeles Dodgers (0-1) vs. Chicago Cubs (1-1)
Matt's prediction: Cubs in 3

Comment: Cubs aren't as good as everyone thinks. But they're a lot better than the Dodgers.

Milwaukee Brewers (1-2) vs. Philadelphia Phillies (0-0)
Brewers in 5

Comment: With Sabathia pitching two games, the Brewers squeak by.

One interesting baseball note: C.C. Sabathia led both the American League (2) and the National League (3) in shut outs. That's got to be a first.

Let the games begin!

Honeymoon Adventures V: Lungs of the World

The day started at 5:30 a.m. with a cold, cold shower (Matt actually managed to stand - not dash through - the water for the first time), and a hike to the canopy walk. Matt had been wanting to do this since he heard about going to Peru. For the first time, the rain forest lived up to the first half of it's name.

It rained all morning as the group walked about 35 to 40 minutes to the canopies. But when everyone finally arrived, the rain finally lifted a bit and the mist began to clear - perfect for a hike on top of the trees.

The canopy walk was originally set up as a research center, a way for scientists to spend hours at the tops of trees studying monkeys, insects and birds that never touch the rain forest floor. Now, this particular walk has been turned into a tourist walk, although that phrase evokes some wrong ideas. There were no people within miles of Matt and Lynne's group.

The hike starts at the base, which is wooden structure that goes up about 40 feet. From there on, the canopy is ingeniously built into the trees - no large, obtrusive poles stuck into the rain forest. You walk on a V-shaped net with your feet on a board and your arms on the ropes on both sides. There's no chance of falling and the walkway barely, barey moves or sways because the ropes are so taught.

The canopy walk has 13 stations. You reach the highest - 121 feet - at the sixth station. That's like looking down on a 100-foot tree, some might say. (Very descriptive, dontcha think?)

However, the height was not very intimidating, because 1) it was fairly difficult to see straight to the ground because of the foliage and 2) everything around was so awe inspiring. From the highest point you could look into Peru for miles - green trees that seemed to go on forever. You could only imagine what or who was living beneath all that beauty.

Because of all the untouched trees, Lynne said she was standing in the "lungs of the world," which put your place on Earth in perspective. Lynne and Matt stood there, watching steam rise from the jungle while small black birds danced above the tree tops. It was quiet, the air was crisp and fresh, and everything was calm. Matt took a lot of deep breaths, trying to store up extra air.

Lynne and Matt took their time on the canopy walk, but it didn't take long to get across. Still, it was an unforgettable walk - a moment when you know right away it was once in a lifetime. (There'd seemed to be a bunch of those in row.)

Next, it was onto the ReNuPeRu medicinal herb garden, where the tour company is trying to preserve the ancient traditions of herbal remedies. Lynne and Matt sniffed a crush plant that seemed to burn their nostrils, tasted a leaf that numbed Matt's tongue and smelled sweet lemon grass (like Pledge!). Then everyone was offered a blessing by a shaman. He promised to make you 10 years younger.

The shaman brought you up, asked your name and then started chanting and blowing smoke into your head. It was rather odd. Then after he blew some smoke into your head (whhhhoop, whhhhooop, whhhhoop) he would "bless" (whack) you with some reeds that looked like a small broom. Lynne went first and described the experience as, "Being beat in the head."

Matt wasn't so keen on being beaten, but the shaman had already made Lynne 18. Matt wasn't going to be some creepy 30 year old dating a teenager. He got blessed, turned 19, and started having a dance party in his dorm room.

After lunch, the group took a boat ride up the Amazon to the village where Raul, the tour guide grew up. This was another of Lynne and Matt's favorite stops. OAT (the tour group) really stresses seeing how "regular" people live. You visit the tourist spots, sure. But they also take you to a small village and later we ate dinner in a family's house.

Everyone arrived in San Pedro, a little village cut out on the dry (non-marshy) side of the Amazon. Raul told the group that he was one of 16 children. His father had three wives. The first died of a snake bite and the second died in child birth. Raul's father had a very large farm so 10 kids went to college - very unusual. Raul studied to be a tour guide (his English was much better than Matt's), got married and had two kids - Raul and Megan.

When the group showed up at San Pedro, it was like the circus came to town. Kids, cows, pigs, dogs, and sheep followed everyone as they walked toward a building that housed the only phone in town. (This was a wealthy town to have a phone.) All the kids gathered in a room and they sang the Peruvian national anthem and the friendship song. All the Americans introduced themselves in Spanish. Lynne accidentally told them Matt was 300 instead of 30. This appeared to be the most hilarious joke the kids had ever heard.

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Most of the people lived in what Americans would consider shacks. There was no electricity, plumbing or running water. The houses were raised up off the ground, with a hammock or some blankets on a wooden floor. The people typically took a shallow canoe across the Amazon to their farm (where they probably grew potatoes or bananas) on the fertile (marshy) side of the river. Many of them spend their whole life in this village, punctuated by one trip into Iquitos.

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The only way to get to Iquitos (the nearest big city, where you can sell you goods) is to take a large river ferry, which takes about 24-40 hours to make a trip we made in two hours by motor boat. It cost about 3 soles for a person to ride the ferry, maybe 5 soles for a cattle and one sole for every chicken on board. (When you see that, you realize the Naperville bus drivers have really been overcharging for horses.)

At the end of the day, Lynne and Matt were tired, but fascinated. They had seen parts of the world and people they never imagined they would meet. But they couldn't help but wonder where they would be in 20 or 25 years.

Lynne and Matt saw huge boats filled with lumber hauling trees down the river - a crucial trade in the Amazon. And in these villages, the children tend to leave for the bigger city where they can get a better job, have a TV, etc. It's the way of the world that places and people evolve and change. But what is being lost?

Day Five Summary: 13 platforms above the trees; 20 years (total) lost in a shaman beating; 270 years lost in translation; one trip to a jungle village.

Mustache: Festering. It had been nearly a week and yet the mustache could get no traction. Lynne was sickened by it and Matt was sickened by the prospect that this was a lost project. Still, he soldiered on.

Weird foods eaten: None.

Coming next: Hot water!

Happy birthday Lynne!

Harrumph hrrmph years ago, Lynne Seago was born. Ah, it seems like only yesterday.


And for the first time in her life, she gets to spend her day with her husband, who will be trying his best not to watch the Illini-Mets-Brewers-Phillies-Twins-Sox scores. Total media blockout!

How old is Lynne? Hmmm, tricky situation here. Not sure if she's OK with that being out there...don't think she'd have a problem, but...hmmm. Well, it's the first birthday of Lynne Hanley. How's that for an answer?

Lynne, your smile lights up the lives of everyone who's lucky enough to know you.



Hope you have a fantastic day!

Yo Mets - wake up!

Dear New York Mets,

We've been together a long time. Through the Strawberry years and the Mark Carreon and Rico Brogna eras. Through the Jason Isringhuasen Before He Got Good times and the Terrible, Epic, No-Good Collapse of 2007.

Did I mention that you are killing me here?

Did I mention that practically everyone I know is a Cubs fan? I've spent a year sifting through this nonsense from last season. And now the Brewers are apparently going to pitch C.C. Sabathia every night. And you're finding unexpected ways to hand this thing over. A man on the third with no outs in the seventh. No runs. A man on third with no outs in the ninth. A fly ball wins the game! All right, the first guy strikes out - no flyball. But you still manage to the load the bases with one out...and still no runs. Aaaargh!!

“When tomorrow comes, hopefully the sun comes up,” manager Jerry Manuel told the Associated Press after Wednesday's loss to the Cubs, 9-6 in 10 innings. “It might not.”

Gee, thanks, Jerry. Your confidence is uplifting.

Did I mention that not too long ago, I dreamed of the Cubs, White Sox, Brewers and Mets making the playoffs? Everything was in place. It would have been a dream match up - lots of fun inter-Hanley rivalries. But really, deep in my heart, in the parts of my soul where I store batting statistics and presidential trivia, I only cared about the Mets making it. It's ugly, but it's true. So, the wheels exploded on the Brewers bus and the White Sox are floundering. That's been an ugly sight to watch here in the Midwest. But even from 400 miles away, the smell of your bullpen drowns most of it out.

Did I mention your bullpen reeks? Reminds me of bull something else. Billy Wagner was good - no doubt - but there's not one other arm that can throw an inning or two and give up less than three runs? Find Lee Smith. Bobby Thigpen's still around and looking good. Jeff Montgomery's available. Roberto Hernandez always seems to be pitching somewhere. Greg Olson? Even Dan Quisenberry could be an improvement, and he's been dead 10 years.

Did I mention you're killing me? Seriously, pull it together.

Most sincerely,
Matt

See ya, Yankee Stadium

We promise to finish our journey through Peru, if you'll just indulge a brief baseball break. All month long, Matt had heard endless promotion of the last game at Yankee Stadium. The last game at Yankee Stadium. The last game...blah, blah, blah.

Matt, like many other people, has Yankee fatigue. If a Yankee sneezes, it's news. And, as previously mentioned, Yankee Stadium is not among Matt's favorite ballparks. Besides, Matt's a Mets fan. And this also happens to be the last year for Shea Stadium, the Mets' home park, and there's barely mention of that.

But...then, well, Matt happened to be going through some boxes Sunday night and flipped past the Yankee game. And there was Yogi, and Whitey, and Reggie. And of course, Mariano and Jeter and A-Rod. And you start to remember all the other legends that have roamed the field. Joe D. The Babe. The Iron Horse. Scooter. The Mick. Casey. Maris. Pepitone. Munson. Dickey. And bunch of other guys they rented for a year or two.

And, well, the game was pretty cool to watch. ESPN did a pretty nice job of basically ignoring the game vs. the Orioles and showing the highlights of 85 years of Yankee Stadium. As Matt watched it, he was sort of glad he got to visit The House That Ruth Built. Matt drove out to New York and met his Dad, Uncle Larry and cousin LJ for a game against the Blue Jays in August 2006.

The stadium was ...well, it was old. The tunnels were crowded and too low. And there were 600 reminders of the 26 World Championships the team has won - the years on the flagpoles, team pictures on the exits, etc., etc.

But Matt got there early and walked around the park. That day, he was one of the last people let into Monument Park, where they honor all the Yankees who have had their numbers retired. Not only do they have plaques for all those players, they had plaques commemorating three papal visits. Pretty cool. (Afterwards, when LJ's mom asked how he liked the game, he said he liked it just fine...except that Uncle Mark and Cousin Matt took him to see some graves before the game. He thought they buried the players in the outfield.)

As for the game, Cory Lidle pitched (moment of silence...thank you) and Jason Giambi hit a home run. It was 97 degrees and the Yankees actually gave away free water. And some guy named Ryan Roberts got his first major league hit - and what remains his only big league homer. It was one of the first games Bobby Abreu played with the Yanks. The Yankees won 8-1.

The only scorecard you could buy was $7 and parking was a nightmare, but hey, Matt was there. He got to see Yankee Stadium, smell it and sit in the seats. Pretty cool. So, yeah, even Matt enjoyed watching the highlights Sunday night of Reggie's three home runs in the Series, and Larsen's perfect game and Jackie Robinson stealing home. For a real baseball fan, it's hard not to appreciate the history there.

Of course, Matt will have to wait to celebrate Shea's finale. You know, because the Mets are actually going to make the playoffs. Oh yeah, he said it.

Honeymoon Adventures V: Rum and piranhas

July 19 marked one week of married life, and Lynne was still more or less tolerating Matt's monkeyshines. (That's foreshadowing.) But there were still more pictures of her sleeping to be taken. (Also foreshadowing.)
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The day started with breakfast at 7 a.m. In the lodge, they called meal time with a jungle drum. Bum-bum-bump-bum-bum. That meant it was time for sweet pepper omelets and tasty brown bread. Lynne and Matt were still avoiding the fruit and fruit juices, which was driving Lynne absolutely crazy. But it was better than spending the honeymoon in the bathroom.

After breakfast, the group piled into a boat and headed up the Amazon to Yanamoto Medical Clinic. Although the stay was brief, this easily made Lynne and Matt's list of favorite stops. The clinic was run by Linnette Smith, a doctor from Wisconsin who came to the Amazon as a tourist, saw a need for medical help, and never left.
Essentially, people who live on the Amazon River have no access to the medical services that we take for granted. Helicopters don't land there in emergencies. The only medical clinic is in Iquitos - a two hour trip up river by speedboat, a luxury none of the regular have people. In other words: good luck getting to the hospital after you cut your leg with a machete. Which happens a lot, in the Amazon.
When Linnea Smith opened her "clinic", she had no vaccines, no latex gloves. The residents had no information on family planning and many of them believed in mixing local shaman treatments with, or substituting for, modern medicine. (It isn't unheard of for women to have dozens of children, and it isn't uncommon for them to have multiple children from one family die before they turn five.) Oh, and Dr. Smith had only watched a few baby deliveries before she arrived, never done it herself. Did we mention she had to be dentist, too? For some reason, she stuck it out.
Lynne and Matt's visit was rushed because other patients were coming by canoe to the clinic. For the first time - but not the last - Lynne and Matt started to understand that some of the things Americans assume are necessities - like sterilized hospitals - are actually luxuries. Matt later bought Dr. Smith's book La Doctora, which was especially interesting because he could picture what she was writing about.

After the doctor's office, the group headed to a rum factory, which was fascinating in a completely different way. The rum is produced by squeezing sugarcane through a huge press turned by a old, broken-down horse. At this rum factory owned by "Don" Hernando Gerra, the press had been there since the 1880s, and it still ran just fine. (At the least the horse wasn't complaining.)
Don Guerra ran his own bar and must have been quite wealthy for the area, since he sent all his daughters to school in Iquitos. He let the group sample his rums: pure sugar cane rum (ugh), molasses rum (a slightly less ugh), rum with ginger (almost palatable) and a "seven roots" rum that Don Guerra called "Viagra Rum," which everyone thought was hilarious although Matt couldn't figure out why. (It was OK.)

A quick note: It was entirely unclear how anyone knew how to get to any of these places. Although you could often see homes on the shore of the Amazon, there were no signs marking what was what. Raul, the guide, somehow knew how far to go, and when to turn on to tributaries that were as wide as the Fox River, but could barely be seen from the middle of the Amazon. And, to think, Matt gets lost on a well-marked highway, with a GPS, and Lynne.

After the rum factory, everyone headed to Explornapo Lodge, where they would spend two nights. It's not the most primitive lodge in the Explorama chain, but it was a "step down" from the first place. Rooms were even more basic - just the two beds, a book case and a sheet for a window. (A bat flew into one person's room.) The bathrooms were standard outhouses. Although they weren't very smelly, the men had to share the room with a parrot. (Click on the picture on the right and look in the upper left hand corner.) The showers were in another building and they were stone cold.

The group arrived around 10:45 a.m. and had free time. There was lots of free time on this trip, but nowhere to go. (You can't just wander through the jungle, although Matt wanted to.) During this time, Lynne and Matt would head straight for the hammock huts, perhaps mankind's greatest inventions. (Along with portable toilets and Diet Coke.) At the Explornapo hammock hut, the visitors were joined by Raul I, II and III - three jungle chickens who seemed to really like Matt, and Charlie, a giant jungle rodent who was incredibly friendly.

After lunch (pineapple chicken, rice and corn), it was time for piranha fishing. That's right FISHING FOR DEADLY, MAN-EATING PIRANHAS!! This is one of those experiences Matt couldn't wait for. While there would be more breath-taking and spectacular adventures on the trip, fishing for piranhas is one of those handy little phrases to have in your pocket at parties, like "sky diving" and "hiking the Grand Canyon".

Partygoer One: "I am having a really interesting month. I organized over 200 T.P.S. reports and I shoveled the driveway twice. What'd you do?"
Matt: "Who me? Oh, not much, I guess. I was just pulling MAN-EATING DEADLY KILLER PIRANHAS OUT OF THE AMAZON RIVER!!"
Partygoer One: Stunned silence.

Anyhow, back in reality, the piranha fishing. Raul navigated down an Amazon tributary, until he found an obscure spot under a random tree that he assured the group would be good for piranha fishing. As usual, he was right.
The fishing poles were basic: a stick, with fishing wire tied to a metal hook - no reel. The hook was baited with raw, bloody beef.
The fishing technique was equally simple. First, you'd splash the end of your pole on top of the water to simulate something falling in. Next, toss in the meat and wait for a nibble. Hooking the fish was the trick. When you felt the bite, you had to yank up on the pole as quickly as possible. Unlike fishing for bass, where the fish bites into the hook, you were basically trying to snag the nearby fish by yanking the hook into him.
Lynne caught one, but he slipped off the hook before she could haul him in. (Which was just fine, really, because she was terrified. Of a fish.) But Matt....well, after a few tries Matt caught A MAN-EATING BLOOD-THIRSTY DEADLY PIRANHA WITH HIS BARE HANDS!!! Wait, no. Not with his bare hands. On the pole. But indeed Matt snagged a red-bellied piranha, which Raul said are the most aggressive. And what reason did anyone have to doubt him? But, to prove his point, Raul unhooked the piranha and held Matt's fish up to another piranha that someone else had been caught. Matt's piranha - which by now had been out of the water for at least a minute - kept eating the other fish. Crazy. It was easily the most manly moment in Matt's life. (Although, to be clear, the competition for that consisted of mostly cross country races and sort of yelling at a state representative once.)

After the piranha fishing, Raul took the group to a "black lake." These are formed when the river, which is snaking back and forth, finally breaks off and forms a lake. A black U-shaped lake is left in the middle of the jungle. The lake is deep black from the acids in the trees. Without any wind, it's still and blazing hot out there. Raul slowly, silently paddled everyone along the lake and pointed out three-toed sloths and tropical birds. Matt took some pictures of the sloth, but when they got home the pictures looked like, "Hey a tree!" And, "Another tree! Great!"

Finally, it was back to the lodge where for dinner Matt ate MAN-EATING PIRANHAS!!! Really, this time. Raul grilled up the piranhas that were caught that night and served them up. But no one besides Matt wanted to taste the fish. Maybe it was because the eyes and teeth were still attached?
The piranha tasted pretty good - like salmon - but there wasn't much meat there. I guess Matt neglected to mention that these piranhas were not even as big as his hand. (Didn't sound as manly.) But Matt tried it, which amazed Lynne because Matt won't eat chicken soup. (He has a ban on all floating food.)

Day Five Summary: Three toes on sloths; two caught piranhas, one escaped; zero flights; one Wisconsin doctor in the Amazon; four rum samples

Mustache: Annoying. At this point, it should be noted that Lynne was beginning to hate The 'Stache and actively campaining for it's destruction

Weird foods eaten: Water buffalo, piranha (Matt only)

Coming next: Walking above the trees and a beating from a Shaman

Note: If you read this earlier and noticed the typos, sorry! It posted too early, accidentally.

Honeymoon Adventures IV: Amazonian arrival

July 18th started early, checking out of the hotel at 3 a.m. to make it to the airport for a 4:55 a.m. flight to Iquitos. (By the way, Peru is on CST, same as Chicago.) The early flights were wearing on Lynne and Matt and it didn't help that the flight was delayed for weather, then repairs, then re-fueling. The plane finally took off at 7:15 but when it landed, they were in another world.
Iquitos had clear blue skies. The airport was a glorified hangar, with the shells of old "dead" planes scattered around the runway. Not very comforting. Lynne and Matt met their new guide Raul, then boarded an mahogany bus with no front windshield. The air was incredibly still - no breeze at all - which made the heat even stickier.

They began the ride through Iquitos, which was typical of many Peruvian cities. Other than the occasional bus, the streets were clogged with motorcycles and "moto-rickshaws", a hybrid rickshaw and motorbike that drove people around like taxis. Motorcycle riders carried groceries and babies, dodging in and out of lanes haphazardly. There's very little refrigeration in Iquitos so the sidewalks were jammed with people going to the market, buying fruits, vegetables and even a few live chickens. (Click on any picture to enlarge it.)

After the ride through Iquitos, Lynne and Matt boarded a sort of hybrid speed boat/passenger boat for the 1-1/2 ride going up the Amazon River. Like seeing the Grand Canyon, describing the enormity of the Amazon is difficult. It's so big, it looks like a lake except that - of course - it has a current. The size even skews the current so it's difficult to gauge how fast the water is moving. Until, of course, you see a tree floating down river. Understandably, Lynne fell asleep on the boat ride and Matt used the opportunity to grab another picture of her snoozing. He's quite a husband.

Finally, Lynne and Matt arrived at the Explorama Lodge, part of a group of Amazon lodges set up by a former American who visited once and never left. Now, he runs these four amazing low-impact lodges, which range from no electricity and plumbing to air conditioning and an outdoor pool.
Matt and Lynne checked into their room, which had it's own toilet and shower - a pleasant surprise. Their room was a book shelf, wooden floor and two twin beds covered in mosquito netting. There were sheets hanging over the "windows" and no screens. There were walls between rooms, but they didn't reach the ceiling, so you could hear all the nasty things the other people were saying about you.

After lunch - fried fish and yucca - it was a short hike through the rain forest. Raul grabbed a poison dart frog, then showed everyone armadillo and tarantula holes and massive termite nests. Raul also picked a berry that was not only used as body paint (Matt was given chief markings and immediately protested himself as a racist stereotype) but also as a mosquito repellent.

After a 10-minute walk, the group arrived at a Yagua village. Lynne and Matt saw some traditional dances and even got drafted to join in. Six days into a married life and Matt was holding hands with a half naked Amazon woman, dancing around a fire. And yet, Lynne didn't leave him in the jungle. She may yet regret that decision.

After the dancing, the Yagua showed everyone how they use their blow dart guns. In real life, they capture a baby monkey, then lure the other monkeys in with its crying. Luckily, there was no monkey torture for Lynne and Matt. Still, they did get to try their ...hand?... at blow dart practice. Matt hit the target on the first try. (Watch out Peter Tork!) It took Lynne three tries, but then she nailed him in the heart. Seeing that, Matt did not dare make another false move the entire trip.
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After the blow dart demonstration, Lynne and Matt bought some crafts from the Yagua, mostly bracelets or masks that the young people had made. They were ridiculously cheap. Lynne bought a mask that took a young man days to make for less than $5 US. This was the first exposure for Lynne and Matt to one of the other conflicts of Peruvian life. For the most part, the young people have no desire to stay in these remote Amazonian villages. They want to go into Iquitos, where there are better paying jobs and good schools and discos and TVs and doctors...and so on.

Basically, visitors are watching these villages die, in slow motion. Raul estimated that in 20 years, the Yagua village would no longer exist. The elder tribesman will be dead; the young will all have left. You can't blame the young people who want - and deserve - a better life. And yet, clearly something is being lost.

After the Yagua village, it was back to the lodge for dinner: water buffalo (tasted like beef!) and rice. Then, it was time for the first of the nightly nature excursions, where Raul took everyone on a motor boat along a branch off the Napo River. Somehow, in the middle of the pitch-black night, Raul was somehow able to spot butterflies, bullfrogs and - oh yeah - a snake that was hanging in a tree right above Lynne's head. It's the only time Matt's ever seen Lynne scared of anything. And she liked it even more when Raul shook the tree so everyone could see the slithery little guy even better.
It was a great first day in the Amazon. And it just got better.

Day Four Summary: Two dances with half naked women; four blow dart attempts, two successful; one shaken snake; one taste of water buffalo

Mustache Update: Flimsy