Mark of Fridays: Meeting Adam Eaton

Mark got to meet Adam Eaton, centerfielder for the Chicago White Sox, and all-around nice guy. And rather than have him sign some slick photograph, Mark drew his own picture. And Adam Eaton signed it because he is an all-around nice guy.

Mark of Fridays: Touch 'em all!

Father's Day had a ballfield flavor to it.

From left to right, that's Tom Seaver, Paul Konerko, David Wright and Mark Buehrle - otherwise known as Big Mark, Little Mark, Matt and Barry.

Obviously, it's no coincidence that both the Mets (8-2 in their last 10 games) and the White Sox (nine straight as of this writing) have been on fire since this picture was snapped.

It's Grandpa Power!

Lamaze class One: Mark Buehrle plays Wii

Tuesday was Lynne and Matt's very first Lamaze class. Heading there, Matt had no idea what to expect. It's very hard to get the images from 1,000 baby movies and TV shows out your head when you're on your way to Lamaze class. But that's OK, because Lamaze class is more or less just like the movies and TV shows.
The class of about a dozen couples gathered in a room on the third floor of Edward Hospital. Everyone was paired up husband wife, except for one mom-daughter team. The woman said her husband didn't come because he was easily grossed out. Matt thought that was nuts, but it turned out to be a good assessment because the group was shown video of a birth. The birth was not so disgusting (even though it got in there pretty close), but the shot of the doctor holding a bucket of placenta next to the mom, was not so appetizing. Mom appeared to be thinking, "Hey, doc, thanks for the bucket of blood and insides. If you don't move it, I'm going to add puke to the mix!"
Anyhow, the larger group split into smaller groups where everyone was supposed to introduce themselves by sharing the baby's gender, their due dates and - oddly - a brush with celebrity. Matt's not sure if he's written about this, but he mentioned to the group that he is co-starring in Public Enemies, coming to theaters everywhere on July 1. (Get your tickets!)
Other couples had brushes with Patrick Ewing, Bono and Brooks Robinson. But the final couple stated matter-of-factly that they were good friends with White Sox All-Star pitcher Mark Buehrle. Oh yeah, they go down to his St. Louis home every month in the off season. Oh yeah, they talked to him this morning BEFORE THE CUBS-SOX GAME. Like it was no big deal. Like it was not the coolest thing ever. Matt wanted to ask 10,000 questions. Instead, Matt simply asked if Opening Day starter Mark Buehrle was a regular guy. They confirmed that he was and that he even plays Wii. Cool.
People should not be allowed to offer up this information in a Lamaze setting because it makes it very hard for the "Support Partner" to concentrate on the other information being presented. But Matt played it cool, making it seem that he was not impressed by the connection to Mark Buerhle, thereby bonding with this couple, so they can eventually become best friends and hang out/sleep over at Mark Buerhle's house. Smooth.
Next it was on to putting a ping-pong ball in a balloon. If you do this, then blow up the balloon, you do not have to tie the balloon closed. You can simply rest the ping pong ball over the opening and it will keep the balloon inflated. Sadly, you may then have to squeeze the balloon to replicate the cervix opening up, which is a fairly gross image, especially when a yellow ping pong ball with a smiley face is supposed to represent your kid. Ping pong balls were flying across the room, which is a bit concerning since, you know, those could have been babies.
Of course, Lynne and Matt's ping pong ball got stuck in the balloon's "cervix", thereby confirming that The Baby's head is going to be ginormous.
Finally, the class came to the most important part of Lamaze: the practice breathing. You've been breathing all your life, but when you're pregnant you actually have to practice it. That's because when the baby starts to emerge, you look down and think: this kid is much bigger than a ping pong ball. Then, you forget to breathe.
The teacher was this incredibly nice woman. She had five kids of her own; she was a nurse. She was the perfect blend of personal experience and medical knowledge. In other words, she wasn't afraid to tell you she peed on herself, but she could explain that was a normal part of amniotic fluid compressing the bladder.
The teacher started the relaxing exercises. Everyone had brought pillow and blankets, which were laid out on the floor like a peculiar indoor picnic. Then Lynne scooted up to Matt, so her back was resting against his chest and he could hold her.
The first part was to teach you how to relax your muscles. So first Lynne tightened her forehead, then relaxed it. Then her jaw, shoulders and arms, stomach...
"Now tighten your butt," the teacher said.
This is where Matt started to have problems. The first problem is that even though he is three decades old and about to be a father, the word 'butt' is pretty funny. Second, this woman was talking in a very serious, monotone, soothing voice. So that made hearing "tighten your butt" even funnier.
And Matt couldn't help but (ha ha) think about how infrequently in life you actually hear that phrase. The only other scenario Matt could imagine was being attacked by a swarm of red ants. Of course you'd close your eyes and mouth. And you could pinch your nose and cover your ears with your arms. There would be only one opening for the ants to target!
"Tighten your butt!" your friends would yell, as they scoured entomology books to for red-ant wrangling techniques.
Even then, the phrase would not be said in a calm, soothing voice, most likely.
Still, Matt controlled himself and did not laugh out loud. He is not a juvenile, after all.
Unfortunately, then the teacher started the imagery.
"Imagine you're at a soothing beach," she told the class.
Okay, Matt thought. He imagined the Pacific Ocean, in Florida, where they had visited Lynne's sister Laura earlier this year. Very nice.
"You're walking down a long pier. Now you step off the pier."
It was at this point that Matt started to wonder. Why was he at the beach? Was he all alone? Did anyone bring lunch?
"You're all alone."
Oh.
"You step off the pier and feel the sand beneath your feet. You take off your shoes. You're wearing shorts and a shirt. They're very loose fitting and you feel the breeze on your skin."
What did I do with the shoes? Am I still carrying them? And I find it unlikely I would wear shoes to the beach. Probably sandals. And - if I was wearing shoes - does that mean I still have my socks on as I'm walking down the beach? That makes no sense.
"You stare out into the water and see a beautiful sunset."
The sunset would look cooler with pirates. And how much is this vacation costing us?
"You walk to the edge of the water. The waves slowly roll in and you feel the cool, gentle water running over your legs."
What kind of beach is this, where the pier doesn't go all the way to the water? What is the point of the pier exactly? It goes to the middle of the sand then lets people off to walk around in their socks?
"Down the beach you hear the sound of..."
At this point the teacher hesitated for just a moment, looking for the right image. And Matt wondered what soothing sound was coming next.
"...two seagulls fighting over a piece of abandoned bread."
And that was it. Forwhatever reason, this phrase set Matt off. It was probably the word 'abandoned,' as if the bread had been part of a family that longer wished to have an association with him. Matt started to almost laugh. He bit his lip. He thought of unfunny things, like health care and carburetors.
Matt begged his brain to stop. Lynne was going to need him. He was her support partner. She was preparing for one of the most miraculous and difficult experiences a human being can go through. And Matt was being a joker.
Matt tried to excuse this behavior, but then he noticed the WOMAN ACROSS FROM THEM WAS CRYING. Actual tears running down her face. Matt looked around. All the couples seemed to be lovingly walking down the imaginary beach, oblivious to hypodermic needles that might be laying in the sand.
Stop it! This is serious stuff. Matt held his breath. He rubbed Lynne's arm.
And finally, mercifully, the exercise ended.
Lynne turned toward Matt.
Matt knew he was probably in trouble. She must have felt him giggling, or seen him staring at the ceiling. She'd give him an elbow to the ribs, tell him to shape up. Tell him that in three months he'd be in charge of another human life and that's not a joke. It's real life, mister.
Lynne turned to him and said: "I couldn't stop thinking about all the sand I'd get in my toes at the beach. And was it a long pier or one of those piers that ran along the shore?"

Perfect in the playoffs!

Well, Matt has done it. A perfect 4-for-4 in the playoffs. What's that you say? Matt got all his playoff predictions wrong? Hark! I dare say it may have seemed that Matt swung and missed on every single one of his playoff predictions. But if you look closely, the exact opposite is actually true.

Let's take a closer look:

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Angels

Matt's prediction: Angels in 3 games
Comment: The Red Sox are good. The Angels are really, really good.

Result: Red Sox win the series in four games.

See? Matt said the Red Sox were good. He was right on!

Tampa Bay Rays vs. Chicago White Sox

Matt's prediction: White Sox in 5
Comment: Experience and good starting pitching edges out the team of the future.

Result: Rays won in four games.

See? Matt clearly mentioned that starting pitching's the key. "For the Rays" was implied. Booya!

NATIONAL LEAGUE

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs

Matt's prediction: Cubs in 3
Comment: Cubs aren't as good as everyone thinks. But they're a lot better than the Dodgers.

Result: Dodgers in 3.

See? This one's easy. Matt clearly said the Cubs aren't as good as everyone thinks. They're not even as good as Matt thinks! And, by the way, Matt nailed it: three games. Money.

Milwaukee Brewers vs. Philadelphia Phillies
Brewers in 5
Comment: With Sabathia pitching two games, the Brewers squeak by.

Result: Phillies in four

See? Matt never put the word "prediction" in there. So, if he had been allowed to finish ... Matt would have said Brewers in 5...years, will win the World Series. Stay tuned...

OK, after all that success, how can Matt avoid throwing out some predictions for the championship serieses?

Red Sox vs. Rays

Matt's "prediction": Red Sox in 7 games

Comment: Red Sox experience edges out the Rays. Matt will send his formal apology, by fax, to each and every Sox fan.

Dodgers vs. Phillies

Matt's "prediction": Dodgers in four games

Comment: Phillies have the hitting, but not the pitching. Inexplicably, the Dodgers will be in the World Series.

That's right! Matt's predicting an all-Manny series! (So start getting tickets, Phillies and Rays fans!)

Matt's playoff review/preview

The White Sox game just finished. Wow.

Hello from the baseball capital of the universe. (OK, along with you, LA.)
Let the playoffs begin!

Somehow, Matt was lucky enough to see seven of the eight playoff teams this year. If the Mets hadn't let him down, Matt could have had a nearly improbable clean sweep.

This year's playoffs should be great. (Check out the match-ups at baseball reference.) On the plus side, the games will have a lot of big stars: Kazmir, Crawford, Longoria, Utley, Howard, Hamels, Zambrano, Soto, Lee, Fielder, Braun, Sabathia, Buehrle, Thome, Konerko, Griffey, Teixeira, Lackey, Guerrero, K-Rod, Jenks, Papelbon, Beckett, Papi, K-Rod, Ramirez, Ramirez and Ramirez.
On the down side, no Mets. Stupid Mets.

Matt spent the night scouring his bookcase for the scorecards from the games he went to this year, so he could provide you with his spellbinding insight into the playoff squads (excepting the Phils).

Saturday, May 24
Angels 2, White Sox 0
Lynne and Matt's bachelorette/bachelor parties. Vlad the Impaler hit a home run, but pitching was the star. Johnny Danks and Jared Weaver were both awesome. If the Sox can get to the second round, these two might face each other again.

Saturday, June 14
Tigers 12, Dodgers 7
Matt and his dad drove to Detroit for this game. If you had asked Matt after this game who was going to the playoffs he would have given the Tigers a better shot than L.A. The Dodgers looked horrible; Brad Penny got knocked around pretty good. Of course, at this point Manny was still wearing a Boston uniform. Unlike, the next game Matt went to...

Monday, Aug. 11
Red Sox 5, White Sox 1
Again, another possible second round match-up: Beckett vs. Danks. Danks was perfect for 6-1/3 innings, but then the wheels came off a bit. Beckett was awesome for eight, then Papelbon finished it off. Which is exactly what the Red Sox will try to do in the playoffs. Incidentally, Lynne and Matt sat really close to Carlos Quentin. He really does look like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

Sunday, Aug. 16
Twins 11, Mariners 8
The only game Matt went to not featuring at least one playoff team, although the Twins got as close as you can possibly get without making it. On the way home from a wedding, Lynne and Matt met Adam at the game. Matt was happy to see Ichiro play, even in a horrible stadium like the Metrodome. The Twins were up 8-0 and somehow they still needed Joe Nathan to save this one.
In a somewhat related note, Matt noticed after Tuesday's Twins-Sox game that all the best, established relievers are in the AL: Papelbon, Jenks, Nathan, Rivera, K-Rod.
Wood, Lidge, Valverde are pretty good, but not yet established. Hoffman's probably the best NL reliever with a track record but he's pretty old. Wagner may be done.

Saturday, Aug. 23
Rays 5, White Sox 3
Kazmir vs. Vasquez, another possible playoff preview. (Matt saw a lot of good pitching this year.) The Sox looked good, except for the eighth inning when they gave up four runs. Jermaine Dye did hit two home runs, but the Sox couldn't manufacture a run. It's going to be the same battle this week.

Monday, Sept. 1
Mets 4, Brewers 2
Santana struck out 10 and Carlos Delgado hit a bomb. Yet, that doesn't really matter, does it? In other news, Sheets had to leave after 5 innings despite giving up no runs and two hits. Foreshadowing.

Wednesday, Sept. 17
Brewers 6, Cubs 2
Aramis Ramirez hit a nice line drive home run, but the Cubs didn't have much going this night. For the Brew Crew, Sheets had to come out after the second inning, despite only giving up a run. He hasn't been the same since.

Thursday, Sept. 18
Cubs 7, Brewers 6 (12 innings)
This was a great game - one you didn't think the Brewers would recover from. The Brewers stupidly ran themselves out of the eighth inning, but the Cubs were still down four runs. The Brewers got the first two outs in the ninth. Somehow, the Cubs rallied and Geovany Soto hit a three-run homer to tie the game. The Cubs won in the 12th to put the magic number at one.

OK, onto Matt's division series predictions:

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Boston Red Sox (1-0 in games Matt saw) vs. Los Angeles Angels (1-0)
Matt's prediction: Angels in 3 games

Comment: The Red Sox are good. The Angels are really, really good.

Tampa Bay Rays (1-0) vs. Chicago White Sox (0-3)
Matt's prediction: White Sox in 5

Comment: Experience and good starting pitching edges out the team of the future.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Los Angeles Dodgers (0-1) vs. Chicago Cubs (1-1)
Matt's prediction: Cubs in 3

Comment: Cubs aren't as good as everyone thinks. But they're a lot better than the Dodgers.

Milwaukee Brewers (1-2) vs. Philadelphia Phillies (0-0)
Brewers in 5

Comment: With Sabathia pitching two games, the Brewers squeak by.

One interesting baseball note: C.C. Sabathia led both the American League (2) and the National League (3) in shut outs. That's got to be a first.

Let the games begin!

Yo Mets - wake up!

Dear New York Mets,

We've been together a long time. Through the Strawberry years and the Mark Carreon and Rico Brogna eras. Through the Jason Isringhuasen Before He Got Good times and the Terrible, Epic, No-Good Collapse of 2007.

Did I mention that you are killing me here?

Did I mention that practically everyone I know is a Cubs fan? I've spent a year sifting through this nonsense from last season. And now the Brewers are apparently going to pitch C.C. Sabathia every night. And you're finding unexpected ways to hand this thing over. A man on the third with no outs in the seventh. No runs. A man on third with no outs in the ninth. A fly ball wins the game! All right, the first guy strikes out - no flyball. But you still manage to the load the bases with one out...and still no runs. Aaaargh!!

“When tomorrow comes, hopefully the sun comes up,” manager Jerry Manuel told the Associated Press after Wednesday's loss to the Cubs, 9-6 in 10 innings. “It might not.”

Gee, thanks, Jerry. Your confidence is uplifting.

Did I mention that not too long ago, I dreamed of the Cubs, White Sox, Brewers and Mets making the playoffs? Everything was in place. It would have been a dream match up - lots of fun inter-Hanley rivalries. But really, deep in my heart, in the parts of my soul where I store batting statistics and presidential trivia, I only cared about the Mets making it. It's ugly, but it's true. So, the wheels exploded on the Brewers bus and the White Sox are floundering. That's been an ugly sight to watch here in the Midwest. But even from 400 miles away, the smell of your bullpen drowns most of it out.

Did I mention your bullpen reeks? Reminds me of bull something else. Billy Wagner was good - no doubt - but there's not one other arm that can throw an inning or two and give up less than three runs? Find Lee Smith. Bobby Thigpen's still around and looking good. Jeff Montgomery's available. Roberto Hernandez always seems to be pitching somewhere. Greg Olson? Even Dan Quisenberry could be an improvement, and he's been dead 10 years.

Did I mention you're killing me? Seriously, pull it together.

Most sincerely,
Matt

Comerica Park: 12 and counting...

Matt's been meaning to put a post about his Father's Day trip to Detroit. Last year, for Father's Day, Matt got his dad tickets to Busch Stadium in St. Louis to see a Cardinals game against the Phillies.
Are Matt or his dad fans of the Cardinals? No.
Fans of the Phillies? No.
The point is to go to the stadium. Of the 30 current major league teams, Matt's been to 12 stadiums.
This year, Matt and his dad took a five-hour drive to Detroit to see the Tigers play the Dodgers.
Are they Tigers fans? Nope.
Dodgers fans? Nah.
(They're Mets fans.)

But they wanted to see the park.
Comerica Park lived up to its billing as a beautiful baseball field with a mall around it. Even the team is pretty up front about the game nearly being secondary, which is kind of sad. But the stadium was built during a time when the Tigers were losing 119 games, so maybe you didn't really want to see the field then.

OK, let's get the distractions out of the way. Comerica has a merry-go-round and a ferris wheel inside the park. At first, Matt was like, wow, that's cool. And then, well, not so much. (The Tigers on the carousel were a nice touch.) It was $2 to ride either one, so Matt and his dad skipped them. Plus there was more baseball-centric things to see before the first pitch.

.

.

On to the cool stuff. First of all, they have these giant towers all around the stadium with memorabilia and facts about the Tigers through the decades. Very cool. It's too bad they can't do stuff like this at Wrigley because people would eat it up at $5 a pop.
Then, Matt and Dad wandered over to the statues in the outfield for the Tigers retired numbers (Al Kaline, Willie Horton, Charlie Gehringer, Hank Greenberg, Hal Newhouser and Ty Cobb). The statues had a unique style that really emphasized the player in action. Balls seemed to shooting off Greenberg's bat, and the dirt was flying up as Cobb slid into a base. Check out the picture of Kaline leaping to catch a fly ball. If you look closely (click on the picture to enlarge it), you can see the ball is actually suspended a few inches off his glove. The viewer gets to see that perfect moment, just before the conclusion. Really nicely done, Matt thought.
That goes for the outside of the stadium, too, where they've gone all out on the Tiger theme, and it works. Sadly, the girl who took 18 minutes preparing to take Matt and Dad's picture in front of the giant Tiger kind of blew it. Oh well.
The rest of the stadium was beautiful with nice seats and good sight lines everywhere. The food was OK, not terrible or spectacular. The scoreboard was impressive and fountains spouted water in the outfield when the Tigers scored.
Oh yeah, the game. well, it was a wild one. Matt liked seeing the Tigers because there were a few potential future Hall of Famers on the field. Ivan Rodriguez is in for sure. Miguel Cabrera (who homered) and Magglio Ordonez (who needs a haircut) could be on their way. (Juan Pierre - nah, he could never get to 3,000 hits. Or could he?)Plus, there were two Hall of Fame managers - Jim Leyland and Joe Torre - skippering their clubs. Well, actually,they were just holding on that day. The game had errors and two men on the same base and plays at the plate and failed squeeze plays and and homers and back-to-back triples. When it ended, the suddenly-hot Tigers won 12-7. Root, root, root for the home team.
One other note about the game: Matt got decent seats through stubhub, in Row 34 behind home plate, looking right down the left field line. Strangely, Matt and his dad ended up sitting right behind two-time Academy Award winning actor Gene Hackman. Who knows why he was there. Maybe since he's a Hollywood type, he just follows the Dodgers everywhere. Matt kept yelling out, "Hey French Connection" and "C'mon The Conversation" or "Little hit there, Hoosiers" to get Hackman's attention so he'd turn around for a picture. But he never turned around. Maybe he didn't want the attention. Or maybe it was only some guy who sort of looked like Gene Hackman. Nah, it was him. Mr. Lex Luthor.

So that brought Matt's stadium total to 12. (Matt's dad has been to many more, including a bunch of retired stadiums.
Here's Matt's ratings of the fields he's visited:

First tier: Fenway Park (Boston Red Sox), Camden Yards (Baltimore Orioles) and PNC Park (Pittsburgh Pirates)
Second tier, and close behind: Busch Stadium (St. Louis Cardinals), Comerica Park (Detroit Tigers), Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs)
Third tier, still close behind: Coors Field (Colorado Rockies), Miller Park (Milwaukee Brewers)
Fourth tier and further back: Shea Stadium (New York Mets), U.S. Cellular Field (Chicago White Sox), Yankee Stadium (New York Stinkees)
Fifth and this is a bad stadium: Metrodome (Minnesota Twins).

You can read ESPN Page 2's else review of all these stadiums right here.

Twelve down, 18 to go. (Matt sure hopes they don't tear down Shea Stadium, Yankee Stadium and move the Twins out of the Metrodome in the next two years. Nah, that'll never happen.)

Well, it was another great Father's Day trip with a great guy. As for next year...Cincinnati isn't too far....or Cleveland...or...

What happens on this post, stays on this post

Did you hear that Lynne and Matt had their bachelor and bachelorette parties? Yep, on May 24 - the day after Matt filmed with Johnny Depp overnight - Lynne and Matt celebrated their dwindling singlehood.
Very little information is available on either of these events. Here's what is known:

Both Matt and Lynne attended the same White Sox v. Angels game (sadly a 2-0 loss for the Sox, although Vlad the Impaler did go deep, which was sweet!)

Lynne sat somewhere along the third-base line, assumedly so she could have a closer look at her other true love, Mr. Joe Crede. (Lynne should write her own posts if she wants the correct facts out there.) Afterwards, the ladies went to Howl at the Moon, a piano bar in downtown Chicago.

Little else is known about the activities of that night, except some photos have surfaced.

...

Troubling. Very troubling.

Sadly, no pictures exist of Matt's bachelor party. That is a shame. The experience will have to be re-created with words.

So, what did the guys do?

Well, first they went to the baseball game, where everyone drank CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKES and FRUIT SMOOTHIES. Even Matt's Uncle Jim bought some of the guys LEMONADES. Everyone had a great time at the game, though by the end a few of them were a little TIRED OF BEING AWAY FROM THEIR WIVES AND CHILDREN. Still, everyone agreed, CHILDREN AND WIVES ARE GREAT.

From there it was off to a strange little PARK in the Old Towne neighborhood. At the PARK, everyone had burgers and more LEMONADE. Some people even did BIG SIPS of LEMONADE.

Then, all the guys went to a DOCUMENTARY FILM FESTIVAL where they watched some really funny MOVIES about HISTORY, SUNSHINE and GIRAFFES. There, everyone had some more WATER. Alex was very HAPPY! Everyone enjoyed at the DIRECTOR'S take on HOW SPECIAL WOMEN ARE. It made everyone THINK.

When the show was over, everyone was good and JOYOUS, so they went to another PARK, where they watched some Ultimate HISTORY CHANNEL. Eventually, one of the guys kicked the other guy so hard he SMILED. Everyone at the bachelor party THOUGHT ABOUT THEIR WIVES - OR FUTURE WIVES - AND HOW LUCKY THEY ARE TO HAVE MET THEM.

Finally, it was time to call it a night, so all the men headed to bed at 7:30 PM, as visions of THEIR HAPPY HOME danced in their heads.

In all seriousness...a lot of people drove (and flew!) a long way to spend the day with Lynne and Matt. It meant more than those people probably realize. Spending a day with good friends is the perfect reminder of how lucky they really are.

RIGHT?