Mark of Fridays: Christmas passed

We fell a bit behind on the holiday season, but perhaps we will make it up to you - our dear readers - with a bonanza of information, theories and miscellany. Or perhaps we will get swamped with 2011 Things To Do.

Although this was technically Mark's second Christmas, it felt like his first. Last year, he was a drooling bundle of arms and legs in a car seat. This year, he showed a minor amount of interest in tearing the paper off his gifts. He didn't have the attention span to get through everyone's generosity but he seemed to enjoy the festivities.

While you might expect a child to tear open his presents wildly, Mark ripped the paper delicately, like he was peeling the shell off an egg. Even on the biggest boxes, he would take a sliver in two fingers and lightly tug at it until a quarter-inch of paper came off. Hence the delay in posting. He was opening presents for two weeks.

Anyhow, about the picture. Matt - known locally as Mr. Christmas Cheer - decided it would fun to bring Mark to see the mall Santa.

An earlier attempt by Grandma Hanley had ended in failure. Mark wanted no part of this strange, bearded man. Wouldn't go near him.

Still, Matt thought it would be nice to get the traditional Christmas snapshot. You only get one chance for a 1-year-old picture with The Big Guy. Besides, if Mark screamed that would only mean more high school blackmail photos.

Lynne, a Christmas scrooge, thought the plan was generally bonkers. There would be lines; Mark wouldn't go for it; there would be lines; it was kind of weird. And she was right about the weird: there was an unnerving amount of college aged girls who were waiting in line in coordinated outfits. But the line moved fast.

And, the end result was that Mark - as usual - was a prefect gentleman. He didn't cry. He didn't squirm. He didn't try to run away. He sat still in this strange man's lap while a woman jingled bells and said "Hellllloooo, little man. Hellooooo."

You can almost see him looking at his father, thinking: This man has gotten me into another fine mess. I'm adding this to the nursing home file.

Mark of Fridays: Hurry Christmas, hurry fast

Hello? Is Santa here yet? Hello? Anyone?

Mom?

Dad?

Rudolph?

Mark of Fridays: Christmas is coming

The pig ornaments were hung on the tree with great care.

In hopes that Mark will oink at them like he just don't care.

Mark of Fridays: Randomness

Here's a few random pictures of Mark that are getting a bit old, so we'll toss them up on the blog.

Matt recently noticed that the ratio of Mark minutes to photos has decreased. In the first days of his life it was approximately one picture per 2.2 minutes. Now, it's about six pictures a day. Of course, that rate can quintuple if there is a grandma in the vicinity.

Mark of Fridays: A boy and his dog

We fell a bit behind for various reasons (stupid norovirus!), but we're back-dating a few posts to catch up. Enjoy!

Mark of Fridays: A little off the back

So, Mark has about no hair. He's just basically a baldy - a Charlie Brown, you might say. There's just not much up top. (He has a big head! There's a lot of acreage to cover!)
However, Lynne insisted he was getting a bit of mullet. (As shown in the picture where Mark is stuffing a graham cracker in his face. Look close.)
While Matt acknowledged the 'do was getting a little business-up-top-party-in-the-back, he wouldn't agree that a buzz was necessary. In fact, Matt was decidedly against the haircut because Matt is decidedly cheap. It seemed ridiculous to pay someone to cut five strands of hair. Matt was sure he could do it himself.
At this suggestion, Lynne reminded Matt of previous efforts at home-grown projects. Well played, Red Head.
So, Lynne, Matt and Mark dutifully marched off to the haircut shop.
It was an awesome place for kids. It had a giant slide in it and all the "chairs" were shaped like rocket ships or fire trucks.
When Matt was a kid, he'd sob and wail at the barber shop. This was when he was much, much older than Mark (but not quite in high school). Matt caused quite the scene, apparently. Looking back, Matt can't quite figure out what he was so afraid of. Perhaps a stranger approaching his face with scissors had something to do with it.
So, Matt was a little worried that Mark might totally freak out.

Of course, Mark handled it like a pro. He didn't cry a bit.
And, afterwards, he looked like a Very Big Little Man.
Oh, and the haircut? Fifteen bucks for two and half minutes of cutting.
Even Lynne agrees that Matt can handle the next trim.

Mark of Fridays: I-L-L ugh-hiss-boo

Well, it's November and that means another trip to Champaign for the sheer torture of watching Illinois football. Thankfully, good friends show up, too. Otherwise, the pigskin follies might be overwhelming.

After a one-year hiatus, it was back to Chambana to see the Illini play the hapless Minnesota Golden Gophers. You'll notice that the team was not called the "Fighting" Illini. Alas, there was no fight in the team this year. In addition to being 400 degrees below zero, Illinois found a way to lose to a one-win Gopher team that was ranked among the 10 worst teams in all of college football. That's hard to do.

There was some thought that perhaps children should not be exposed to Illini football. Fear not: most of them spent the game safely tucked away in their hotel rooms.

It was a great weekend and Matt was very grateful that so many people were willing to travel far and pay ludicrous prices for average hotels so everyone could hang out. Seeing all the kids was not only fun, but reminded all the dads of how very, very ancient they are. (10 years out of college!) Thankfully, all of the wives still see the guys as the young, vibrant, agile He-Men they married.

All in all: a great trip. Looking forward to losing to St. Mary's School for the Misdirectional next year!

As far as the pictures, at the top right is Mark and Elyse Theoharis. To the left is Michael and Katelyn Farmer, Elyse and Mark. The irony here is that all the dads had the exact same expressions as the kids. Nathaniel/Kramer was even wearing a similar top.

One last note. Here's the record at UFW's.
2000: Michigan 35, Illinois 31
2001: Illinois 33, Penn State 28
2002: San Jose State 38, Illinois 35
2003: Wisconsin 38, Illinois 20
2004: Michigan 30, Illinois 19
2005: Michigan State 61, Illinois 14
2006: Iowa 24, Illinois 7

2007: Illinois 31, Wisconsin 26

2008: Illinois 55, Indiana 13

2009: Cancelled on account of babies

2010: Minnesota 34, Illinois 30

That's 3-6 through 9 games.

And that doesn't even count a Bears loss to the Saints in 2002 and an Illini basketball loss last year. We're like a reverse horseshoe!

Mark of Fridays: Fall is here

Behold: a story in four parts.

This story can be followed below with the captions or - for a truly enriching experience - print out the pictures and make them into a flipbook! Fun for hours!

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ACT I: Grandpa Mark is lowering Little Mark down the local tunnel slide. What fun for the family!

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ACT II: Watch out, Grandpa Mark! You seem to be leaning a bit too far into the tunnel slide! You don't have a permit to go down that slide!

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ACT III: Oh no! Watch out Little Mark! Grandpa Mark is coming down the slide at an alarmingly slow and awkward speed! Clear the area!

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ACT IV: All are safe. Applause. And...scene.

Feeling great

There is probably no time a parent feels more valued than when your child comes to you in tears and wants nothing more than to be held, because you are the only person that can make him feel better.
In his time of crisis, he immediately turns to you. It's humbling and empowering.
And those feelings of parental vitality are in no way diminished by the fact that he's crying because he fell off the first step while you weren't paying attention.
The child is too young to make the connection between the bump on his head and your incompetence. And that's what important. And beautiful.

Dear makers of diapers...

Dear makers of diapers,

A quick suggestion. Whatever money all of you spend securing the licensing rights so you can put different characters on your diapers could probably be better used to reduce the cost of diapers. Because, truly, I don't care if my kid's pooing on Pooh. And he can't see his diapers! But they do cost a lot!
Just a thought!

Matt

How much would you pay for a used house?

The sign is up. We're ready to go. And we're one of 10 million homes for sale on our block.

If you ever wondered what kind of weird stuff Lynne and Matt have in their house, check this out.

Mark of Fridays: Boo!

Can you guess who Mark was for Halloween?

Mark of Fridays: Mommy and me

At the Pink Ribbon Run last weekend.

Great grandma and Uncle Josh got first-place medals!

Mark would have won his age group but he was disqualified for being overly cute.

Mark of Fridays: (Fall is) slip sliding away

We almost went with another pumpkin picture, but figured it was time to break the streak!

Mark of Fridays: Pumpkin power!

Notice a theme?

It's fall!

Baseball playoffs 2010: Round II

Well, in the Division Series, Matt got two of four right. He had the Yankees and the Phillies, but got stung by the Rangers and Giants. The Rays bats never really came to life (which was a surprise) and the Giants pitching was better than just fine (not surprising). The first round was full of great, great games.

So what's ahead in the League Championship round?

On paper: even better match ups. And much more difficult to predict.

AMERICAN LEAGUE

New York Yankees vs. Texas Rangers

Matt's prediction: Yankees in five.

Predictable story lines: Experience of the Yankees vs. winning-is-new Rangers. Will Josh Hamilton and Ron Washington's sponsors get good seats? Is Cliff Lee going to throw six complete games or seven? Yankee tradition of excellence, blah, blah, blah.

Comment: Really? One of these teams will be playing in the World Series? It's hard to believe these are the two best teams in the American League. But they certainly were the best in the first round. Despite the prediction of a five-game series, these teams are actually pretty evenly matched. Both have one dominant pitcher followed by a question-mark rotation. Both have big offenses. These could all be great, 12-11 games. The Yankees are going to win because they have a great offense and Mariano Rivera. He's still the best. Plus, the Rangers are really hurt by Cliff Lee not being able to pitch game one. He may only get one game.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

San Francisco Giants vs. Philadelphia Phillies

Matt's prediction: Giants in seven.
Predictable story lines: Experience of the Phillies vs. the Giants youth. Will Halladay and Lincecum throw perfect games against each other? The over/under on total runs scored is 8.

Comment: Let's go with the upset. Experience is often overrated. In the first round, the Giants proved they weren't intimidated by the big stage. And the Giants have Lincecum and Cain going at least four games. This has all the makings of a monster, classic series. So why the Giants? Brian Wilson, Cain and Bumgarner. (Lincecum and Halladay are a wash?)

So, Yankees and Giants in the Series, just like 1962. Somebody get Ralph Terry, Stretch McCovet and Bobby Richardson on the phone.

And while Matt was only correct on half the first-round series, it should be noted: that's much better than last year and .500 would have led either league in batting.

Bonus Mark: Our Little Pumpkin

Happy Fall, everyone!

Mark of Fridays: Birthday party

And now, after a brief delay, here are the pictures of Mark's first birthday! It was lots of fun!

For the record, Mark did not eat any of his cake. He still has a serious aversion to solid food. And although cake is a marginal solid at best, he wanted almost nothing to do with it.

On the left, you'll notice the face that he made when people tried to force him to eat. The picture on the right is his hand signal for "all done." This kid doesn't even like frosting?

Can't-miss picks

Last year, Matt watched a ton of baseball games on TV, so his picks for the playoffs were right on: he got two series right.
The year before that, Matt went to a bunch of baseball games and saw almost all the playoff teams in person. And his picks were even worse.
So, this year - when Matt watched less baseball than he has in ages -his picks are sure to be a little more right. It only follows.
Here be Matt's Playoff Picks Sure To Go Wrong.

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Minnesota Twins vs. New York Yankees
Matt's prediction: Yankees in four
Predictable storylines: Big market vs. small market; Twins can't win in postseason; Yankees playing with heavy hearts after Steinbrenner and Sheppard die; Will games be snowed out?
Comment: With all his heart, Matt will be rooting for the Twins. And they actually have a decent match-up. The Yankees are a very good (, very evil) team. But, as everyone is saying, their pitching is suspect past C.C. Sabathia. So, the key for the Twins might be game one. Beat Sabathia there and they may just have a shot at this thing. But, realistically, Hughes and Pettitte are still pretty good pitchers and the Twins aren't exactly throwing Santana and Blyleven out there. (That's the best Twins pitchers I could think of.) The Twins just need too many people to have career series to beat the All That Is Evils. Without Morneau...head trumps heart.

Texas Rangers vs. Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Matt's prediction: Rays is four
Predictable storylines: No one comes to Rays games so they might move; Cliff Lee likes to throw complete games; Rangers re-birth; Should Nolan Ryan pitch game two?; If Rangers win, will Josh Hamilton have to babysit Ron Washington?
Comment: On paper, this is a really intriguing series. It's tempting to say that Cliff Lee will be the tipping point for this series. Theoretically, this guy can just throw five complete games, if necessary. Josh Hamilton is back and the Rangers are an extremely potent lineup. But, David Price is awesome and so is Even Longoria, even on 12 days rest. Let's go with Joe Maddon and experience.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Philadelphia Phillies vs. Cincinnati Reds
Matt's prediction: Phillies in three
Predictable storylines: Roy Halladay is finally in the postseason; Upstart Reds vs. veteran Phillies; Aroldis Chapman may kill a player with a thrown ball; Who will run into Darren Baker?
Comment: OK, nobody's picking the Reds. How could you? If you had a confidence pool the Phillies would have to be your top pick to advance. The Reds don't really have an ace and the Phillies might have three. The Reds have a bunch of young overachievers who are thrilled to be in the playoffs and the Phillies expect to go to the World Series. The Reds have Dusty Baker, the Phils have Roy Halladay. Sorry, Reds.

San Francisco Giants vs. Atlanta Braves
Matt's prediction: Braves in five
Predictable storylines: Two favorites for Rookie of the Year go head to head (Heyward and Posey); Lincecum is a freak; Chipper Jones wishes he could play in this series; Will Bobby Cox will be ejected from his last game?
Comment: Nobody's picking the Braves, either. Again, with good reason. The Braves basically snuck into the playoffs, barely losing less games than the Padres did down the stretch. Chipper Jones is out and Jason Heyward is struggling. The Giants have three or four aces. But...the Giants haven't been to the playoffs lately. And if Tim Lincecum gets blown up (which has happened this season) when the lights go on, things might get interesting. Here's betting Bobby Cox has one last trick up his sleeve.

Things to root for:
- If the Giants and Phillies do get through, that will be a heck of a pitching match up in the NLDS.
- Mike Sweeney, Roy Halladay and Michael Young are all making the first playoff appearances. Always nice to see veterans get a taste. Someone like that always seems to make a key play or have a huge series.
- Twins and Giants in the Series. Interesting.
- Always root for Jim Thome/Buzz Lightyear.

Things to root against:
- If the announcers start saying the Yankees are winning despite heavy hearts (because of Steinbrenner dying), that series has full barf potential.
- Yankees and Phillies in the Series. Blah.

Mark of Fridays: Mark at play

This is Lynne's new favorite picture of Mark. She says it looks just like him.

Mark of Fridays: Ratzo Rizzo

This post was going to contain pictures from Mark's very excellent first birthday party, but...

....last night ...

...at 7:48 p.m. ...

...while standing in the kitchen...

...Mark took his first steps!

Well, Ok, his first wobbly, unsure, stutter-step. But still! Holy cow!

Mark is almost, pretty much, sort of, kinda walking!

(Oh, and Ratzo Rizzo? C'mon. Surely, you caught the reference.)

The One-Year Mark

Mark Hanley, at 12 months

The measurements: 22 lbs 13 oz, 28.5 inches long. That's average for kids my age, although my head's still a little larger-than-life. I'm now big enough to wear 12-month pants and 18-month shirts. Good thing baby hats don't come in sizes. Ahem.

Best Friends: Books, Jack, books, fishies (real or in books), and anyone who will hold me through my nap no matter how sweaty I get. Also: books.

Enemies: Diaper changes. I refuse to be held down!
Also: solid foods. Mom and Dad have tried and tried, but I refuse to eat real food. If they give me finger foods, I won't put them into my mouth. If they give me mushy bits of barely solid food (like bananas or watermelon), I fight to keep them out. If they sneak some in, I gag or throw up. I even chuck when they sneak bits of fruit into my baby food. Mom is checking whether they serve purees in the high school cafeteria.

Just found out about: Pretending to hit my head. I ram my head into lots of things, and do you know what I've discovered? Every time, Mom or Dad pick me up and give me a hug. So I decided to "hit my head" more often. Maybe Mom or Dad tells me not to climb up the stairs and I get mad? I'll just cry and pretend I hit my head, so they'll pick me up. Or, maybe, I get caught eating the dog's food? Grab the side of my head. Get in trouble for throwing toys on the floor in a restaurant? Cry and hold my head. Mom and Dad are fooled, every time.

I'm not so sure about: Walking. I can stand for a really long time. I've heard that the next thing I need to master is taking steps. It just seems useless and illogical when I can get around so well by crawling.

Favorite activities: Attacking people while they're sleeping. Mom taught me this trick so I could wake up Daddy on Saturday mornings. Here's how it works: I see a person I love lying still, then I crawl over to them as fast as I can and jump on them, yelling like a wild man all the while. Then they hug me while I yell and yell and yell. The problem is that I now associate hugging with yelling. Oops.

I have a crush on: Birthdays and birthday parties! Did you know that people throw you a party and buy you presents simply for getting older? What a great deal. I think I'll have a birthday every year.

Major accomplishments: So far, I can say: hi, Jack, mama, and dada. I can MOOO like a cow and smack my lips like a fishie. I can sign "all done" and let Mommy or Daddy know when I'm hurt. I can blow kisses, complete with a very dramatic MMMWWWAHHH noise. I can stand on my own. I can ride forward-facing in the car: HOORAY! And I can sort-of help put away my own toys. As long as I haven't just hit my head.

Mark in review

What a year! Matt always told himself he didn't want this blog to become just baby news. But, um, well, this kid is fascinating. He changes so much every day. (And, honestly: Matt is just giving the readers what they want.)

It's amazing that just one year ago the Naper Hanleys were only a duo, counting down the days until Baby To Be Named Later arrived.
And then, after a very long day, Mark Stewart Hanley got called up to the big leagues.
Everyone thought the squishy looking kid was adorable. (And now everyone thinks...he's much more adorable.)


At first, Mark did pretty much nothing at all. Lazy, some might say. He didn't talk. Wouldn't make eye contact. Did not walk. Couldn't drive a car. Refused to play catch. Didn't know -or care to find out - who was president. Of course, every nothing he did was fascinating.
Even with a brief return to the hospital, overall it was a wonderful year. Consider:
One year ago, Mark couldn't roll over. Then, he learned to hold his head up, then sit up, then crawl, then pull himself up. Now, he can stand. (But not quite walk...)
One year ago, Mark didn't have a name. Now, he has a favorite baseball team and a college destination.
One year ago, Mark lived alone in a tiny one-room apartment. Now, he's been to 10 states.
One year ago, the pictures of Mark were all in black and white. Now, he's been photographed 1,765,456,233 times.
One year ago, Mark had never seen another person. Now, he's surrounded by a mom, dad, grandmas, grandpas, great-grandmas, aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts, great uncles, second cousins, third cousins, friends and a dog who hang on his every giggle.
One year ago, we thought we had a perfectly happy family. And we certainly did. And yet, we had no idea how much we were missing.
One year seems like a long time ago and it went so quickly.

Mark of Fridays: Where did I park that limo?

I always forget where I left that thing.

Also, I have no driver's license. I should check into that.

Mark of Fridays: Ahoy, I'm a stander!

I'm standing!
I'm standing!
Look at me, I'm standing! I stand! I'm a stander!

Mark of Fridays: Almost heaven in West Virginia

Hey, didn't the Hanleys all go to West Virginia not too long ago? And didn't they promise to post some pictures of the trip? What ever happened to that?
Oh yeah!
During the last week of July, the Hanleys took their first family summer vacation. They had the station wagon and the bad music and the goofy dad. The Hanleys were heading off to West Virginia, the homeland of the Stewarts and Seagos and impossibly terrifying roads.
There were many reasons for the trip. First, they had been invited to a wedding in Middlebourne, West Virginia, Grandpa Barry's hometown.
This gave them an opportunity to visit close family friends, spend time with some of Lynne's extended family, and allow Grandma and Grandpa Seago to show off the Little Man. Plus, Lynne got to show Matt around the Ohio Valley, a place that feels like home - despite the fact that she's lived most of her life in Chicago.
And along the way, the Hanleys made a stop in Indianapolis, home of Matt's college roommate (known to some as Nathaniel, but known mostly as Kramer). Nathaniel and his wife Karrie have a beautiful (and very tall) little girl, Elyse.
Mark was thrilled to see someone his own size and decided to stay up half the night because he was so excited. Matt and Nathaniel shot off some fireworks because there were no records available to toss around like frisbees.
Then, it was on to West Virginia. Matt has heard about WV since he met Lynne, but this would be his first visit. They were headed for the state border with Ohio, near Wheeling.
If you haven't been to West Virginia, you should know this: the state is almost incomprehensibly beautiful. Hundreds of wooded miles leading into the Ohio River Valley. In some spots, you can see for miles - just green trees and blue skies. It's hard to imagine the area loked much different 100 years ago.
Also, if you're going to West Virginia, you should know this: the roads are basically death traps. No shoulders, steep drops, then winding and twisting with steep drops. All roads are basically 75 degree inclines with hairpin turns. Oh, and herd of deer might run onto the road. You can still see the imprints of Matt's fingers on the passenger side door.
Besides the fantastic wedding, a big part of the trip was visiting family and trips to Memory Lane.
First up was Farmington, Ohio, where the Hanleys visited the farmhouse where Lynne's mom grew up and where Lynne was brought home from the hospital. Although no one is living in the farmhouse anymore, it was still there and looked in decent shape. Matt walked around a bit inside and Lynne told stories about feeding the horse across the street and her mom shooting a BB gun at a bell.
Then, Lynne, Matt and Mark took a walk over to the local cemetery, which was about 100 yards away (and next to the one-room school where Lynne's grandma went to primry schoo). The graveyard was tiny, but filled with history. Some of the gravestones marked the final resting place of people born before the United States was independent from England. Generations of Mitchells and Copes are buried there. Mark sat at the grave of his great-great-great grandpa, Isaac Cope (1840-1895), who fought in the Civil War. Matt took Mark's picture there - which is either pretty cool or pretty creepy.
Next family stop was in Middlebourne, West Virginia, hometown of the Seagos. Mark got to spend the day with bunches of cousins and uncles. Everyone was so friendly - it was like they'd known him forever. They all spent the day together and had a wonderful time, sharing stories and making new memories.
The Hanleys also participated in the Barry Seago History Tour. Highlights included: the ballfields where he used to play, the jail where he lived when his dad was the sheriff, the home of the guy who shot his dog after some of the boys "borrowed" a few of his crops, a really good pizza place where they pile shredded cheese on sauce and bread, a guy who was the smartest guy Barry ever knew and paints houses, and zillion places that a kid could spend all day acting like Tom Sawyer and generally having a great time.
The trip was great. And Mark got to ride in the car (fun), hang out with both parents for a whole week (really fun), pull a lot of grass out of his Great Uncle Steve's yard (super fun), go swimming at the hotel pool (extra super fun), and see some animals at the Ogelbay Good Zoo in Wheeling (near bliss).
Can't wait to go back!

Mark of Fridays: Special delivery!

A Mark story that has nothing to do with this picture:

The other day, Mark was standing against the wall near Jack's food and water bowls. Mark fell backwards and when his butt plopped down, it bumped Jack's food. About seven pellets of food got knocked out.

Mark turned around, picked up a pellet and...dropped it back in the bowl.

Never tried to put it in his mouth. Then he picked each of the other pellets, one by one, and dropped them in the bowl.

Is this kid great or what?

The Eleven-Month Mark

Mark Hanley, at Eleven Months

The measurements: About 22 lbs, 28.5 in. (measured with a yard stick and a home scale). Grandma Sue says I'm starting to look "average" rather than "chunky," but Mom and Dad aren't convinced.

Best Friends: Books (when Mom snapped the picture on the right, she wondered if I'm a blooming young scholar or displaying early signs of A.D.D.), tiny plastic balls, and Jack. I say "hi" to Jack constantly (even when he's not there) and chase him around the house as fast as my hands-and-knees will carry me. I can tug Jack's rope (although he often pulls me over) and play fetch with him. I can only throw his ball a few feet, but he brings it back to me nonetheless. Playing fetch makes me laugh like crazy.

Enemies: Naps! Why would I want to sleep for three hours every afternoon when I could be spending that time playing with Mommy and Jack?? Nay nay, I say. Instead, I've built some amazing Bed Sensor Technology. I might fall asleep while I'm drinking my bottle or riding in the car, but no matter how Pinocchio-without-strings my body may seem, I can sense that bed coming. As soon as my bottom (or side or belly) touches it, I wake up and start screaming like my leg has been severed. Then I start laughing and talking, ready to play again.

Just found out about: Talking. This is a skill that alternately confuses my parents and truly blows them away. So far, Mom is sure that I can say "hi" and "Jack" (dad is not so sure). But sometimes I try out some other things on them just to see if they're listening (or maybe test their faith in me). For example, the other day mom told me to stop banging on the dishwasher door while she was loading it. I sat down, and she said "thank you." I looked at her and said something that sounded a whole lot like "thank you." She was skeptical. It couldn't be, she thought. But I just might have said it. Other words I might have said: mama, dada, hello, bye.

I'm not so sure about: Standing. I can do what Dad calls a "Road Runner Stand." Road Runner (I'm told) can run over the edge of a cliff, suspended in midair, as long as he doesn't realize he's gone over the edge. I can stand by myself, without holding onto anything, as long as I don't realize I've let go. So Mom and Dad are always trying to distract me with toys or funny dances, then timing how long I can stand on my sea legs.

Favorite activities: Crawling, swimming, reading books about animals, pulling grass out by the roots, going to the zoo, singing songs (or at least doing the gestures while Mommy sings), being tickled, tapping people on the shoulder and waiting for them to turn around.

I have a crush on: My Auntie Laura! She just moved from Florida to Illinois so she could spend more time with me! I am so excited to get to see her and play with her whenever I want!

Major accomplishments: Saying my first words, standing on my own, learning to "blow kisses" (although it looks like I'm slapping myself in the mouth), cutting my two front teeth, using the sign for "all done" when I'm finished eating, and--Mommy's favorite--understanding the word "no." When I start to climb up the stairs, she says "no" and I sit down. When I try to put the dog's food in my mouth, she says "no" and I stop. At music class, another boy kept crawling out of the room and down the hall, forcing his mommy to chase him. On the third try, I started to hightail it out of the room behind him. But Mommy said "no," and I stopped. I sat in the doorway for his other two escape attempts, just shaking my head "no" and thinking, "Didn't you hear my Mommy say no?" All of the other mommies in the room agreed: I am a very, very good boy.

Mark of Fridays: Moving pictures

By all accounts, and according to the best scientific testing available, Mark is a pretty cute kid. We have photos that can prove it. But, occasionally, photos just don't show off his full range of skills.
So, it's time to an old friend the mix: video. And now that Mark actually has a mobile skill set, it's worth watching.

Mark is not saying hi: a rebuttal

Recently, on this very blog, the credibility of Paternal Verbal Conclusions were challenged. At issue was the claim that The Son (common name: Mark) is not only able to say "hi" but also "hi, Jack" (or, at least "Hi Ja").
We wholeheartedly refute these claims as preposterous, slanderous, irresponsible and illogical. Our reasons are summarized in the three points below.

1. Babies cannot speak. It is not in their nature. If they could speak they would be saying things like "Sir, my diaper is very full of poopy." And that would ruin your dinner. So, since Mark is clearly a baby, he cannot be speaking.
2. People cannot talk with animals. The very claim that Mark is speaking to animals should be, on its face, ludicrous. Humans and beasts cannot communicate, except for Eddie Murphy and those monkeys that know sign language. Jack is a dog. Dogs lick themselves in public. They don't chat with kids.
3. Those aren't words! We will concede that Mark is saying a sound that resembles "hi" very closely. What does that prove? Nothing! Even our esteemed opponent admits Mark says "hi" to nearly anything, including fans, books and other inanimate objects. He also says "hi" while staring off into space and while falling asleep. What the previous post fails to mention is that Mark also says "whooo" - like an owl - constantly. All the time: "whoo whoo whoo". I suppose our colleague would have you believe that he is asking Who? or maybe requesting a song from Roger Daltrey. It just isn't so.

Therefor, in summation, we conclude that even though this presenter would think it is totally awesome if Mark were starting to talk, that does not make it so.

"Hi!" and Hi Denial

Mark has always been a pretty big fan of saying hi. He learned to wave at 6 months, and we've been practicing ever since.

So when we walk into Grandma's house, we look at Mark and say "Mark, can you say hi to Grandma and Grandpa?" He thinks a minute, then sticks out a paw and ardently opens and closes his fingers. Everyone claps. When we walk into a room of friends or family members who have not seen Mark in a while, we ask him to "say hi." He obliges with the big wave, and everyone oohs and ahhs. Sometimes complete strangers approach us in a restaurant or the grocery store or even while we're walking the dog around the block. They tell Mark how cute he is, and sometimes they even tickle his feet or pinch his cheeks without asking our permission. And to help Mark be confident and unafraid of strangers as he grows older, we look at Mark and ask him to "say hi to the nice lady." He always does. And the stranger always smiles or cheers or otherwise rewards his effort.

For a while now, Mark has seemed to understand that "hi" is both a greeting--used when you see new people or when they're leaving (we haven't taught bye-bye, just hi for both coming and going)--and a party trick. Sometimes, when he senses he has an audience, he busts out the "hi" out of nowhere. When he gets really excited, he shows off the Double Hi. And if that goes well with the crowd, he tries Hi With The Hand Behind My Back (less successful, usually) or The So-Big Hi (which rolls several tricks into one). If the crowd likes it, he follws up with the Big Clap and Laugh (also a great success).

Then, the other day, Mark and Lynne were playing on the living room floor, when Jack walked in. Mark turned, waved hi to the dog, and said "Hi Ja!" Lynne couldn't believe it. She thought her ears must be deceiving her: Mark simply couldn't be talking yet. Besides, whose first word is hi? Mama or dada, maybe. But not hi. And JACK's name, on top of it? No way.

But then Lynne and Matt took Mark to West Virginia. Each time they asked him to "say hi" to new friends or family members, he would stick out the paw and wave as usual, but he would also say "hi." Out loud. It was always done in a little voice that might be mistaken for a sigh, but the verbal "hi" was consistently there with the wave. When they got home from the trip, Mark said "hi Ja" to the dog every time he walked into the room. When he went to visit Grandma Sue and Aunt Leslie, he waved at them both and told them "hi." Later in that week, he said "hi" (with the wave) to Grandma Diane and Aunt Megan. He said "hi" to his books, his house, and the kitchen ceiling fan.

So Lynne is convinced. Mark has said his first word, and (she thinks) it bodes well for the rest of his life. Perhaps he'll be a very welcoming, social little boy who makes everyone feel special and at ease. Matt, on the other hand, is not so sure. He's reserving judgement on whether or not the hi's are for real. Or maybe he's just aching to hear that "daddy."

Mark of Fridays: Fussiness

Some West Virginia/Indiana/wedding pictures coming soon (like this weekend), but in the meantime we didn't want you to think Mark is always smiling. Behold, a photo of the rarely seen Fussy Mark.

He doesn't like putting on his pajamas.

Mark of Fridayish: Catching up

Lots of fun posts coming up over the next week, including updates on Megan and Josh's fantastic wedding, meeting another Illini baby and a great trip to Lynne's West Virginia roots. In the meantime, we're about two weeks (or more) behind on Mark of Fridays, so this will have to serve as an appetizer!

The Ten-Month Mark

Mark Hanley, at Ten Months

The measurements: Let's be honest: I'm a bruiser. But I also don't think I've grown that much since last month, when the doctor told mom and dad that most of me is in the 70th percentile (head=95th due to big brain). They had a hard time believing that 30 percent of kids are bigger than me.

Best friends: Grass (I like to pull it out and scatter it all over me), swimming pools (fun because they are full of water for me to play in and drink), tiny plastic balls (great for rolling and banging together), books of any kind (but especially the ones where you lift a flap and an animal appears! Surprising every time!), and - best of all - doorstops (they make this really loud BBBBWWWWOOONNNGGG noise, and if you pull on them enough times the rubber stopper on the end comes off and I can try to swallow it before mom catches me).

Enemies: Solid foods. At my last checkup, the doctor gave mom and dad permission to feed me this junk. It doesn't matter that I only have those two bottom teeth (and no tops), the doctor said, because I would gum the food and swallow it, no problem. So they gave me cornbread. I crumbled it up and squished it into my hair, which was fun, but when I tried to eat it I choked and gagged. So they tried watermelon, which mom said is the closest you can get to water in a solid food. They cut it up into tiny pieces, but I still looked at them like they were insane when they put it into my mouth. Don't they know food is supposed to be mushy, not made of tiny squares? I tried to swallow, but it wouldn't go down. I gagged. I threw up. Then I cried. Mom said no more solid foods, at least until my top teeth come in. I say good riddance to bad rubbish.

Just found out about: Uncles! I just got my first one on Saturday when my Aunt Megan married Uncle Josh. I even had a front seat for the whole wedding experience because both mom and dad were in the wedding party. It was a fantastic day. My Aunt Megan looked beautiful and was very happy, and I got to meet and hang out with lots of members of my big, boisterous family. If I hadn't cashed out during the dinner, I would have also seen my mom and dad "go big" and dance the night away.

I'm not so sure about: Uncles! Mine is kind-of old, and he's always telling me lies about the Brewers being the best baseball team in the major leagues. I'm only a baby, but even I know that's not true.

Favorite activities: Crawling. Everywhere. For weeks, I had one foot sort of stuck on the other one and couldn't really get going. Then, almost overnight, I figured out the crawling thing, and now I can go wherever I want! It is great! I can roll my ball under the TV, then get under there and try to retrieve it. I can chase the dog. I can get his toys and put them in my mouth. I can find small fuzzies on the floor that my mom missed with the broom, and eat those, too. I can climb into the pantry or under the kitchen table, where I can bang on the chair legs. I can try to climb the stairs and pull up on the furniture. I can hold onto the couch and do a wobbly stand up. I can make my parents very, very tired. It is awesome.

I have a crush on: Adeline Babler. I heard her dad once pitched against Jayson Werth in the state baseball championship. Plus, I don't know any other girls who aren't my cousins. Cousins are great - I know, because I spent the weekend hanging out with LOTS of cousins - but you can't have crushes on them. It's illegal.

Major accomplishments: Crawling, pulling up on the furniture, wearing shoes for the first time, learning to shoot a slam dunk (admittedly, my basketball hoop is eight inches off the floor), saying "BA BA BA BA BA BA BA" really loud and at inconvenient times (like when we're in the library or when Grandpa Mark is trying to make a wedding toast), learning to hang up on people (although I usually use it on my grandparents - oops - instead of annoying telemarketers).

Congrats Megan and Josh!

No pictures - yet - but what a fantastic day and fantastic new couple: Mr. and Mrs. Jankiewicz!

Mark of Fridays: Unfrozen in Minnesota

Last week, The Family was lucky enough to go visit some of Matt's college friends, Luke and Eric; their respective wives, Tracy and Teri; and their equally respective children, Addy (3 months) and Carson (22 months). The picture on the right is an optical illusion: Mark is much bigger than Addy. But Addy is almost as cute as Mark.

Mark loved the zoo and seeing kids his own size. He also loved pulling out as much of Luke's grass as possible, staring at it and then letting it fall on the blanket that was brought out so that he didn't pull out all the grass. Ah, well.

Mark also loved visiting the zoo. He, of course, liked the monkeys. Who wouldn't? Inexplicably, he also loved the zebras. He started shrieking in delight and clapping when he saw the zebras walking. Odd.

And Mark liked meeting some new best friends. They're great kids in a great fan club.

Stadium seating: Target Field

If you've read Matt's previous baseball-stadium rankings, then you know that the worst stadium Matt has ever been to is the Metrodome. It wasn't even close.
The fans there were great - perhaps the best in baseball - but that was the only thing that horrific stadium had going for it. Because it was really a football stadium (the Vikings still play there), it was an unnatural place to watch a game. The sight lines were horrible and the field itself was worse. The outfield wall was a Hefty bag. Seriously.
But this season, the Twins moved to a new ballpark, Target Field. Matt had heard rave reviews and then Lynne - the greatest wife ever - got him tickets to a July 1 game as a birthday gift. Is she the best or what?
So, Matt headed for the Rays game, joined by college friends, Luke and Eric.
Let's start here: Target Field is very, very nice. It lived up the advanced billing. And while it's not on Matt's all-time top tier of stadiums, it's not far off, either. The park is picturesque and has a nice blend of history and modern features. And you can tell they put thought into how the park can be uniquely Minnesota-n, if that's a word.
We'll begin with parking, which was easy to get to and reasonably priced, especially since Eric paid. (If you go, try to arrange that.) The stadium is in downtown Minneapolis and easy to access from public transportation.
Outside, there's statues of some of the Twins greats, including Kirby Puckett, Rod Carew and Harmon Killebrew. Alas, no Hrbek. And the members of the Twins Hall of Fame are pictured on a bridge near the stadium. These are the kind of features that Matt believes start to separate good parks from great parks. You need to tell visitors the story of the team. (Ahem, Cubs.)
No one does it better than the Tigers, but the Twins have a nice start. The Kirby Puckett statue is particularly well done in that respect because it shows him running the bases after hitting a home run to win Game 6 of the 1991 World Series. That image immediately evokes memories and inspires shared stories. Those stories create lifelong fans.
A little more history would have been even better. There was precious little about two World Series championship teams. Matt never understands why teams don't give fans more access to the trophies or other relics. Fans worship the players on those teams. Let's see something from it. (And while you're at it, add a Penny Smasher, Twins! C'mon!)
We'll transition into one of Matt's few dislikes about the park - albeit one that comes with a caveat. The concourse around the park was really crowded. There wasn't much space between the seats and the concession stands so it felt hectic and distracted from enjoying the amenities. The caveat is that the stadium is still new. A lot of people arrive early and wander around, just like Matt. So, this may ease up as the novelty wears off.
As for the park: wow. The field is beautiful. The scoreboard includes the largest, crispest TV screen Matt's ever seen. And the Twins - Paul and Minnie - from the team's old logo shake hands when someone hits a home run. Unique and cool.
There's also plenty of little nooks that make the park pure Minnesota, which is what the best stadiums get right. The team's organist sits in the middle of a heated bar where you can eat sandwiches and chat with her. Nice. Matt got a picture with her, but it didn't turn out. Electrical engineers don't know how to work flashes, apparently.
Matt also had the Tony Olivia Cuban sandwich and, after peeling off the pickles, enjoyed it very much. Plus, the pregame show takes place in the outfield so you can watch Ron Coomer and Roy Smalley break it all down. The hosts took pictures and chatted with fans who must have felt like they were part of the "Twins family."
Matt, Luke and Eric's seats - bought off stubhub because everything is sold out - were in the next to last row, just to the third base side of home plate. The view was fantastic and unobstructed.
Overall, a wonderful place to watch Joe Mauer play baseball. (Which is not something to take for granted.)
Oh, and the game? Well, the Twins managed to pull a full Cubbie. Even Luke - a Cubs fan - described it as such. They went from up one with two outs, two strikes and nobody on in the ninth to losing in 10. Ah, well.
In interest of full nerd disclosure, it should be noted that Matt, Luke and Eric spent at least an hour discussing the strengths and weaknesses of the Twins' scorecards. Three grown men, sitting next to each other, scoring the same game, critiquing the number of lines available to write in pitching changes. (Got have a souvenir!)
It will be interesting to see how the new stadium changes the crowd. It got loud in the Metrodome a lot and at the right times. The fans knew their baseball and didn't wait until the ninth to stand up. They knew a hit-and-run situation in the sixth could be key and got appropriately excited. As Luke pointed out, those fans had to like baseball because there was no other reason to go to the Metrodump. Now, this new stadium is attracting an extra 12,000 people and some of them are stadium-gazers. They're at the game because it's the cool thing to do. Nothing wrong with that, but it changes the dynamic a bit. For instance: a lot of people left with the team up one run in the ninth.
In summary, this is a beautiful stadium. If you asked Matt what stadiums you had to see, Target Field might not be first on the list. But if you were going to Minnesota, Matt would strongly suggest a trip to Target.
Last note: it's still fair to question the wisdom of building an outdoor stadium in Minneapolis, but it won't matter because the White Sox are going to keep the Twinkies out of the playoffs anyhow. Oh yeah, we said it.

The MH stadium count remains at 14, since the goal is to see every team's park, not every stadium ever.

Here's Matt's updated ratings of the fields he's visited:
First tier: Fenway Park (Boston Red Sox), Comerica Park (Detroit Tigers), Petco Park (San Diego Padres) and PNC Park (Pittsburgh Pirates)
Second tier, but still close behind: Busch Stadium (St. Louis Cardinals), Camden Yards (Baltimore Orioles)
Third tier, and still close behind: Target Field (current Minnesota Twins), Miller Park (Milwaukee Brewers), Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs)
Fourth tier, and still nice stadiums: Coors Field (Colorado Rockies), Citi Field (Mets) and Dodger Stadium (Los Angeles Dodgers)
Fourth tier and not-so-great stadiums: Shea Stadium (old New York Mets), U.S. Cellular Field (Chicago White Sox), Yankee Stadium (old New York Stinkees)
Sixth and a very bad stadium: Metrodome (old Minnesota Twins).

You can read ESPN Page 2's review of all these stadiums right here, although it's getting a bit really dated!

More non-baseball Minnesota pictures to follow!