Quotation Mark Mondays: Words of wisdom from the back seat

Mark, randomly, while riding in the car:
Mark: "I just ate dirt!"
Matt: "What? Where did it come from?"
Mark: "I don't know. Maybe my shoe."



Mark had been quiet for approximately 15 seconds, so Matt checked on his health and well being.
Matt: "You OK back there, buddy?"
Mark: "Yeah, I'm just being a quiet dude."

Quotation Mark Mondays: Talking to Sweetie

Matt: "Ok Mark, why don't you go over and say goodnight to Mom and Sweetie?"
Mark, after climbing up on Lynne's lap:  "OK, Mommy. Open your mouth."
Mark, very loudly, into Lynne's mouth:  "Goodnight Sweetie!"
Lynne:  "Mark, I don't need to open my mouth for you to talk to Sweetie.  She can hear you just fine through my belly."
Mark:  "Yes I do need to talk into your mouth.  It goes through your mouth to your tummy, then through the little cord that connects to Sweetie."

Hard to argue with, especially since it's so hilarious.

Mark is not saying hi: a rebuttal

Recently, on this very blog, the credibility of Paternal Verbal Conclusions were challenged. At issue was the claim that The Son (common name: Mark) is not only able to say "hi" but also "hi, Jack" (or, at least "Hi Ja").
We wholeheartedly refute these claims as preposterous, slanderous, irresponsible and illogical. Our reasons are summarized in the three points below.

1. Babies cannot speak. It is not in their nature. If they could speak they would be saying things like "Sir, my diaper is very full of poopy." And that would ruin your dinner. So, since Mark is clearly a baby, he cannot be speaking.
2. People cannot talk with animals. The very claim that Mark is speaking to animals should be, on its face, ludicrous. Humans and beasts cannot communicate, except for Eddie Murphy and those monkeys that know sign language. Jack is a dog. Dogs lick themselves in public. They don't chat with kids.
3. Those aren't words! We will concede that Mark is saying a sound that resembles "hi" very closely. What does that prove? Nothing! Even our esteemed opponent admits Mark says "hi" to nearly anything, including fans, books and other inanimate objects. He also says "hi" while staring off into space and while falling asleep. What the previous post fails to mention is that Mark also says "whooo" - like an owl - constantly. All the time: "whoo whoo whoo". I suppose our colleague would have you believe that he is asking Who? or maybe requesting a song from Roger Daltrey. It just isn't so.

Therefor, in summation, we conclude that even though this presenter would think it is totally awesome if Mark were starting to talk, that does not make it so.