Quotation Mark Mondays: Switch

Mark comes out of his room, announcing he has had a spooky dream about witches, ghosts, "gargles" (gargoyles?), skeletons and goblins. This spooky dream woke Mark.
Once awake, Mark then had a spooky thought, also involving witches, ghosts, gargles, skeletons and goblins.
Matt advises Mark to think of something more pleasant.
"I'm going to try, Dad. I have a switch in my head. An on-off switch for spooky thoughts. I'll just turn it off."

Quotation Mark Monday

"The one thing every kid is born knowing is that their parents love them." - Mark

(OK, maybe Matt teared up when he heard that. Maybe.)

Quotation Mark Mondays: The last shred of parental secrecy

Lynne (to Matt): "Maybe we could take them to the K-R-A-P later?"
Mark: "What's K-R-A-P? Are you talking about the park? You just spelled it backwards. You spelled 'park' backwards."

And so the last remaining ounce of secret parental communications circled the drain

Quotation Mark Mondays:

(While Lynne was away.)
Mark: "Dad,  I miss Mom. I miss Mom so much that I'm in pain."
Matt: "Well, I miss her, too. But there's still an adult here. I'm here with you."
Mark: "Yeah, but you're not as good."

Quotation Mark Mondays: Rotation

"Do people who walk around the world get dizzy because they're walking in a circle?"
- Deep thoughts, from Mark

Quotation Mark (actually, Anne) Monday: Not daddy

Words that Anne will say with a general clarity that most people (including reasonably intelligent strangers) can understand:

Mom
Mommy
Momma
Bowl
Dip-dip (which represents ketchup)
Apple
Juice
Apple juice (natural combination of the two previous words)
Ball
No
Book
Woof woof (for dogs, obviously)
Keys
Num-num (food)
Cookie
Whee (indiscriminately applied to slides or swings)


So that's at least 16 words - including three versions of 'mother' - that Anne can say with a reasonable amount of precision. And not one of those words include Dad, Daddy, Dadda, Papa, Father, Padre, Paternal figure, etc.
Lynne says the worst one that Matt is ranked below is 'keys'. Keys are, after all, the lowest ranked of items carried in the pocket - finishing a distant third to money (good for buying things) and phone (calls/internet/Candy Crush).

But, the truth is that the worst one is clearly 'dip-dip'. First, it is ketchup. (Or, catsup, if you prefer.) And ketchup is vastly overrated. Fifth best condiment. At best.
Second, it shows that she has the ability to say the 'd' sound, but she just chooses not to. And she thinks it's hilarious.

But, secretly, we know Anne loves her Daddy. Or, as she calls him: the "no Mommy."

Quotation Mark Mondays: Noses

Matt: "If Anne grows up and has a baby, then you would be an uncle."
Mark: "And I would be like Uncle Josh! Except I wouldn't get the noses. That's not my favorite thing that he does."
Matt: "Oh yeah? What is your favorite thing that Uncle Josh does?"
Mark: (thinks) "Regular size present in in a big box. He gets you with that every time."

Quotation Mark Mondays: Toots

At dinner, Mark lifts up from his chair, slightly.
Matt: "Mark, did you just toot?"
Mark: "Yep!"
Matt: "Mark, don't do that and you don't lift yourself up like that."
Mark: "I have to. If I don't lift up, I'll balloon up!"

Quotation Mark Mondays: The King

Matt: "Well, I'm the king of absent mindedness."
Mark: "Why are you the king? Do you tell all the other absent mindeds what to do?"

Quotation Mark (Friday): Bottom of the Head

Over dinner, Lynne and Mark were discussing Peter Pan.  Mark, of course, had lots of questions.  He wanted to know what a nursery was, so he could better understand why Wendy didn't want to grow up and leave it.  Lynne explained that wealthy people at the time when Peter Pan was written had their kids sleep and play in a room called a nursery, and they'd hire a nanny to watch the kids and sleep in the nursery with them.  You moved out of the nursery when you were big enough not to need the nanny anymore.

Mark:  Well, when was Peter Pan written?

Lynne:  I don't know that off the top of my head, Mark.  Probably about 100 years ago.

Mark:  What about the bottom of your head?  Does the bottom of your head know the answer?

Quotation Mark Mondays: Baby Kisses

Mark: "I don't like baby kisses."
Matt:  "Why not?"
Mark:  "Because babies kiss with their mouths open.  It freaks me out."

Quotation Mark Mondays: religious music

Mark: "Dad, you can sing to Jesus and God."
Matt: "Oh, really?"
Mark: "Yeah, so after you sing me my songs, you should sing a song to Jesus and God so they will be able to fall asleep."
Matt: "Oh, well, OK. But I don't think God sleeps."
Mark: "No, Dad, he does. And Jesus sits right next to him. If God gets hungry in the night, Jesus goes and gets him food."

Quotation Mark Mondays: Animals Facts

Leslie:  I think I know which state I will be for your state party, Mark. (For Mark's brithday, everyone was asked to wear state apparel or represent a state.  It's what all the cool 4 year olds are into.)
Mark:  What?
Leslie:  I'm going to be Alaska!  I'll wear all white and wear my penguin hat.
Mark:  Penguins don't live in Alaska, Aunt Leslie.
Leslie:  What??  They don't?
Mark:  Penguins only live in Antarctica, South Africa, and New Zeland.  And those are not states.

---

Lynne:  Why don't we go upstairs and get dressed?  We can go super fast--like ninjas!
Mark:  Ninjas are not any faster than regular people.
Lynne:  Well, what's fast then?
Mark:  Cheetahs.  But they're only fast for short distances.

Quotation Mark Mondays: I feel the need for speed.

"Dad, I am built for speed."
- Mark Hanley, prior to his first race

Mark competed in his first race last week, a 100-meter-dash in Geneva. It took him more than three minutes to run a relatively short distance. But there's actually a pretty good reason.
Prior to the race, Matt tried to explain to Mark how it might work. Matt gave him the basics: you'll all line up, the man will say go and then you run all the way to the finish line.
Matt added in that he might have to run in a certain lane and he should be careful to stay in the lane so he doesn't crash into other runners. Mark had some questions about this lane issue (mainly, 'What is a lane?') and then seemed ready to run.
Mark was super excited for the race. He lined up in the second row and stared down at the finish line.
Matt saw the start of the race (pictured below) where Mark took off with his super speed and a look of grim determination. There was about 40 kids in the race, all heading to a big red arch, that covered about half the finish line. Matt lost track of Mark near the end but he seemed to be doing pretty well. Matt headed to the finish line, but Mark was nowhere to be found. There were dozens of kids and Matt searched everywhere. Matt started to feel that panic of a missing a child. Did he wander off? Was he hurt?
Nope, nope.
Mark wasn't lost.
He was still on the track, running.
Sort of.
Because the finish line arch didn't cover all the lanes, the organizers had placed cones in the other four lanes to funnel the kids toward the arch. So when Mark was about 87 meters through the race, he came up to the cone.
And then he stopped.
To be fair, his legs and arms kept moving, like a video game character that has hit a wall, but continues to run. Mark just ran in place, right in front of this cone.
Why? Well, he later explained that his dad told him to stay in his lane. But this cone was in his way. So he just stayed in his lane, awaiting further instruction. Once, Lynne and Matt found him, they pointed Mark to the finish line and he ran through.
He's a great kid.

Quotation Mark Monday: Little known Presidential facts

"Dad, did you know that William Henry Harrison couldn't smell? He didn't have a nose. He only had eyes and a tongue. He had to lick everything."

Quotation Mark Mondays: Requiem for the large Kentucky Orange Bears

“Dad, did you know there are no more orange bears? There are no more Kentucky Orange Bears. They all died. They got hurt and they all died. You can't see them any more. There are no more Kentucky Orange Bears and they are all gone. You can’t see them anymore because they all died.”

“Oh no!”

“They all died, dad. The Kentucky Orange Bears. The big ones. The big Kentucky Orange Bears are all gone but you can still see the medium Kentucky Orange Bears and the Little Kentucky Orange Bears. You can still see them all over the place, but mostly at zoos. Mostly at the Orange Zoo. There are medium sized Kentucky Orange Bears and there are small sized Kentucky Orange Bears at zoos now. They didn’t die. The large Kentucky Orange Bears all died. But you can see the other Kentucky Bears at the Orange Zoo. The Orange Zoo is closer than the Brookfield Zoo. It IS closer than the Brookfield Zoo. Closer to us. You can see the Kentucky Orange Bears there at the Orange Zoo – but only the medium sized Kentucky Orange Bears and the little Kentucky Orange Bears. The big Kentucky Orange Bears all have died.”

“Really?”

“Yep. They have Kentucky Orange Bears at the Orange Zoo. You go a little bit down 59. Fifty nine. You go a little bit down 59, you turn this way. It’s even closer than Brookfield. They have Kentucky Orange Bears there. There are orange giraffes. There are orange elephants. There are orange flamingos. There are no orange skinned kimodo dragons. There are orange skinned tigers and lions and beavers. And that’s all there is there. And there are orange parks there, too. There are five little orange parks. And you can feed Anne there. And they also have the Kentucky Orange Bears. But only the medium sized ones and the little ones. Because all big Kentucky Orange Bears died. And next will be purple, okay? Actually, those are bears, too. There are no moose.”

Quotation Mark Mondays: Marks loves mom

Matt: You went to the park?
Mark: Yeah, we played there with boys and girls.
Matt: Oh, girls, too, huh. Were they pretty?
Mark: Yeah. But not as pretty as mom.


(After a day where Lynne took Mark on some big activity.)
Matt: Make sure you tell mom thank you.
Later
Mark: Mom, thanks for making me be born.
Lynne: Oh, you're welcome. Did you just want to thank me for taking you out today?
Mark: Yeah, but I had to be born first!

Quotation Mark Mondays: Words of wisdom from the back seat

Mark, randomly, while riding in the car:
Mark: "I just ate dirt!"
Matt: "What? Where did it come from?"
Mark: "I don't know. Maybe my shoe."



Mark had been quiet for approximately 15 seconds, so Matt checked on his health and well being.
Matt: "You OK back there, buddy?"
Mark: "Yeah, I'm just being a quiet dude."

Quotation Mark Monday: Important Presidents

Mark: Dad, there are only four important presidents.
Matt: Really?
Mark: Yeah, dad. One of them is Washington. One is Barack Obama.
Matt: Oh, who are the others?
Mark: You don't know? You tell me.
Matt: Abraham Lincoln.
Mark: He is important.
Matt: Woodrow Wilson.
Mark: He's not important.
Matt: Franklin Roosevelt?
Mark: He's not important.
Matt: Teddy Roosevelt?
Mark: He's not important.
Matt: Thomas Jefferson?
Mark: He's not important.
Matt: I don't know who it is.
Mark: You forgooooot James K. Polk.

Quotation Mark Mondays: One night only!

Mark in his Big Bird mask.
He made it himself, if you couldn't guess.

Recently Mark put on a one-kid show, with his Sesame Street guys as the audience.
The play was performed in three acts. The first two acts were just one song long. The third (the big finale) included three songs, with lyrics that were exactly as long as the title of the song.
The titles of each song were as follows:

ACT I
"Stay Away From the Mean Mayor"

ACT II
"Try Something New You Might Like It"

ACT III
"If You Give A Mouse a Cookie He Will Give it To Big Bird and Then Snufalupagus and Then He Will Eat It"
"Cookie Monster Does Not Like Pizza But He Likes Cookies"
"If You Give the Count a Bat, He Will Count It"