Mark of Fridays: At the home of Benjamin Harrison

Well, Matt insisted that the family make an important stop on the way to South Carolina: at the home of Benjamin Harrison, 23rd president of the United States. A perfect place for kids. Here's Mark thinking about how lucky he is to have a dad with such great taste in pit stops.

Not every kid gets to visit Benjamin Harrison and Rutherford B. Hayes' house in one year!

Mark of Fridays: Visiting with Elyse

On the way back from Cincy, the Hanleys got to visit with Nathaniel and Elyse in Indy.

It was fun to see Nathaniel and Elyse. Karrie was missed, but the New Kids were calling.

Elyse is adorable and smart. She really likes reading about gorillas, too. Now, if she can teach Mark to eat meat...
And, yes, everyone commented on how amazing it was that these two guys have their own kids. There should probably be a test or something.

Mark of Fridays: Almost heaven in West Virginia

Hey, didn't the Hanleys all go to West Virginia not too long ago? And didn't they promise to post some pictures of the trip? What ever happened to that?
Oh yeah!
During the last week of July, the Hanleys took their first family summer vacation. They had the station wagon and the bad music and the goofy dad. The Hanleys were heading off to West Virginia, the homeland of the Stewarts and Seagos and impossibly terrifying roads.
There were many reasons for the trip. First, they had been invited to a wedding in Middlebourne, West Virginia, Grandpa Barry's hometown.
This gave them an opportunity to visit close family friends, spend time with some of Lynne's extended family, and allow Grandma and Grandpa Seago to show off the Little Man. Plus, Lynne got to show Matt around the Ohio Valley, a place that feels like home - despite the fact that she's lived most of her life in Chicago.
And along the way, the Hanleys made a stop in Indianapolis, home of Matt's college roommate (known to some as Nathaniel, but known mostly as Kramer). Nathaniel and his wife Karrie have a beautiful (and very tall) little girl, Elyse.
Mark was thrilled to see someone his own size and decided to stay up half the night because he was so excited. Matt and Nathaniel shot off some fireworks because there were no records available to toss around like frisbees.
Then, it was on to West Virginia. Matt has heard about WV since he met Lynne, but this would be his first visit. They were headed for the state border with Ohio, near Wheeling.
If you haven't been to West Virginia, you should know this: the state is almost incomprehensibly beautiful. Hundreds of wooded miles leading into the Ohio River Valley. In some spots, you can see for miles - just green trees and blue skies. It's hard to imagine the area loked much different 100 years ago.
Also, if you're going to West Virginia, you should know this: the roads are basically death traps. No shoulders, steep drops, then winding and twisting with steep drops. All roads are basically 75 degree inclines with hairpin turns. Oh, and herd of deer might run onto the road. You can still see the imprints of Matt's fingers on the passenger side door.
Besides the fantastic wedding, a big part of the trip was visiting family and trips to Memory Lane.
First up was Farmington, Ohio, where the Hanleys visited the farmhouse where Lynne's mom grew up and where Lynne was brought home from the hospital. Although no one is living in the farmhouse anymore, it was still there and looked in decent shape. Matt walked around a bit inside and Lynne told stories about feeding the horse across the street and her mom shooting a BB gun at a bell.
Then, Lynne, Matt and Mark took a walk over to the local cemetery, which was about 100 yards away (and next to the one-room school where Lynne's grandma went to primry schoo). The graveyard was tiny, but filled with history. Some of the gravestones marked the final resting place of people born before the United States was independent from England. Generations of Mitchells and Copes are buried there. Mark sat at the grave of his great-great-great grandpa, Isaac Cope (1840-1895), who fought in the Civil War. Matt took Mark's picture there - which is either pretty cool or pretty creepy.
Next family stop was in Middlebourne, West Virginia, hometown of the Seagos. Mark got to spend the day with bunches of cousins and uncles. Everyone was so friendly - it was like they'd known him forever. They all spent the day together and had a wonderful time, sharing stories and making new memories.
The Hanleys also participated in the Barry Seago History Tour. Highlights included: the ballfields where he used to play, the jail where he lived when his dad was the sheriff, the home of the guy who shot his dog after some of the boys "borrowed" a few of his crops, a really good pizza place where they pile shredded cheese on sauce and bread, a guy who was the smartest guy Barry ever knew and paints houses, and zillion places that a kid could spend all day acting like Tom Sawyer and generally having a great time.
The trip was great. And Mark got to ride in the car (fun), hang out with both parents for a whole week (really fun), pull a lot of grass out of his Great Uncle Steve's yard (super fun), go swimming at the hotel pool (extra super fun), and see some animals at the Ogelbay Good Zoo in Wheeling (near bliss).
Can't wait to go back!

It's gotta be the pants!

Matt finished his run Thursday night and got home just in time to watch the Illini square off against the lowly, pitiful, pathetic, no-good, very-bad, never-even-MADE-the-NCAA-tournament Northwestern Mildcats.
For the first 20 minutes, Matt was paying some bills, only halfway paying attention to the game. Illinois was down. Yawn. Seen it before. Only a matter of time.
Only...
They kept losing. And losing. And so Matt took drastic steps. He went upstairs and got out the Illini pants. They were a Christmas gift, but they are not to be used lightly. Only when a win is really needed. The pants are undefeated.
The Illini fell behind by 12.
But the Illini pressed, and Demetri McCamey tossed up a floater...and the Illini win!
Nice to win a game when you're only ahead for 2-1/2 seconds.
The pants remain unbeaten. It's gotta be the pants!

(Luckily, the pants will not be necessary when the Illini face the terrible, no-good, very-bad Loosiers this weekend.)

Indiana still has a football team?

Ah, the Ultimate Football Weekend. Or, as it is sometimes known, the annual Josh and Megan Humiliation Game. Last year, Illinois did pretty well. Remember that?
But certainly Josh had learned his lesson. He couldn't really root for the team in red, could he?
He could. He did. Well how'd that work out?
Matt thinks it worked out pretty well. Like 55-13 well.
That's right, the Orange ran wild all over the Red again this year. It was a massacre, right from the beginning. You might think a result like that would deflate the visiting team, discourage them or - heck - just give them pause. But, nay, not the Indiana Hoosier band! Each time - each and every single time - Indiana got a first down, they'd launch into some sort of torturous fight song. Bwahaa be bah be bahhhhhh be BAHHHHHH. Merciless.
Even Megan and Josh had fun at the game, it is believed. Sadly, Lynne lost interest pretty quickly. Even from the second row, the blowout meant she was thinking about other things. Like practicing saying the name of Illini's massive tight end Michael Hoomanawanui. Uh-oh, ma now a noowie!!
But the weekend was about more than football. It was about realizing how old we were. It was about realizing how glad we were that the game started at 7 p.m., and how we all pretty wanted to go to bed immediately afterward. It was about realizing that Legends - Legends! - has a life-sized Chief inside. (Very sad, Matt'll never step foot in there again. Probably.) It was about seeing the Jazz and the Bulls play a game in...Champaign? (Odd, but cool.) It was about grillmaster Dave and stretching the babysitter's hours and Lynne abdicating the Oreo crown to...who remembers that sort of thing when you're this old?
Anyhow, it was another great weekend with great friends, including people who flew in from Colorado and Texas, and drove in from Iowa and Wisconsin. Matt was both thrilled and honored that everyone took time out of very busy schedules to visit. Yet another reminder this year how lucky Matt is to be surrounded by great friends.
But the fact is Matt should have written this post right after the game, as he intended to. Instead, Matt waited until after Illinois lost to Wisconsin and then WESTERN MICHIGAN. The Western Michigan Broncos?!? Ugh. From the Rose Bowl to losing to the MAC second place squad.
Butkus, Grange, Mendenhall vs. Jason Babin and John Harbaugh. Again with the torturing, I see.
Looks like it's back to the .commers for the Illini. Insight.com Bowl. GarbageRemoval.com Bowl. Com.com Bowl. The possibilities are .com less.

Who let this dog in? Who? Who? Who?

It's well past time to introduce everyone to the other member of Lynne and Matt's relationship.

As mentioned earlier, one day at work Matt got two calls and a text message in less than an hour. It was Lynne. She was on her way back from a weekend in Indiana with her parents.

"Uhhh, newsroom, this is Matt."

"Guess what I got?"

Matt's mind raced with the possibilities. A rash? A haircut? A sunburn? A non-tendered offer from the Indianapolis Colts? And Matt remembers very specifically thinking: "Oh no, what if she got a new piece of furniture. That will be really annoying. I really don't want to deal with helping her move that. It's probably huge."

"I got a puppy. I bought him from some Amish people on the side of the road."

Hmm. A puppy. Much worse than an ottoman. An Amish dog. Hmmm.

You see, Matt's family never had a dog growing up. The closest they got was a turtle, who Matt never even named before he died.

It's not that Matt hates animals or pets. He just doesn't want to be around them. A turtle is good because you can ignore it for hours and that's how they prefer it. (For the same reason, a cactus is even better.)

A dog? That was the worst. A dog is like having a kid that never gets smart, never learns to use a toilet, never goes off to college, never writes a tell-all book about how great his parents are.

Back at the phone call, Lynne continued.

"What do you think we should name him?"

"Uh, how about Snoopy?" (Best dog ever, according to Matt.)

Ah, but that was a trick. Lynne was hoping Matt would pick the name already bestowed upon The Amish Dog. The puppy was already named Jack, because he has a black patch over his eye like Captain Jack Sparrow.

Matt did not guess Jack.

Matt was having doubts about this dog.

Now, to be fair - and before Lynne re-edits this post - Lynne and Matt had discussed the possibility of getting a dog before she showed up with Amish Pup. Lynne's family always had dogs around. Alex, Cole, Charlie - they were like bonus Seago family members. So, Lynne really, really wanted her own dog.

And while Matt went along and said, "Of course you can get a dog if you really, really want it," for the most part he considered that conversation hypothetical. Like time travel.
But, as they say, the future was now.

So Jack, the Amish Dog, came home. As you can see below, he's a cutie. Don't be fooled.

Immediately, Jack began to bark at, and bite on, Matt. As soon as Matt'd walk in the door, Jack would make an Amish beeline for Matt's leg. With everyone else it was: "Hey, look at me, I'm the happiest dog! Aren't I great? Let's play and be best friends forever!"

But there was no love for Matt.

(Matt's cousin, Jake, had a simply theory: "He knows you've got his woman.")

No matter what Matt brought - toys, treats, food - Jack would bite him right on the shin. Matt was really starting to hate that dog.

Don't fret, Lynne said, it's a phase. Besides, Matt was imagining it worse than it really was. All Amish dogs go through it, Lynne assured him. Ha.

Whatever Jack's motivation, Matt pointed out that if he behaved the same way - peeing on the floor, eating a Wade Boggs card, barking for hours at nothing - he would be kicked out of the house. Or at least left in the backyard for a while.

No matter. The dog was staying.

So, Matt tried to befriend his new buddy. Matt taught Jack to fetch. Jack taught Matt to stand on his back legs. Matt - like an idiot - even talked to the dog. And bought him a Christmas present.

But Jack went on with his leg-biting, barking-during-movies, Matt-attacking Amish Dog lifestyle.

In fact, one of Jack's signature moves became climbing on top of Matt's head while he watched TV - his front legs touching Matt's right ear, the back legs touching his left. An Amish Jack hat.

Matt hated that dog.

Oh sure, you're saying: how could you hate a dog that's so cute? What's wrong with you, Matt? Don't you have a heart?

Well, Matt has a very good reason, sort of. Consider this picture of Lynne's backyard after a recent snow:

That's right. Matt had to shovel a patch of snow so Jack can pee. Shoveling grass!

How can Matt retain his Man Card when he's out shoveling patches of grass for a fluffy white dog?

OK. So, Jack's cute. And he makes Lynne happy. And he's pretty funny sometimes. And all the Amish furniture Jack built is pretty nice, especially the chest of drawers.

But Matt still hates that dog. Almost.