The two-month Mark

Mark Hanley, at two months

Best friends: My family, the doctors at Edward Hospital and any person holding a full bottle.

Enemies: Pyloric stenosis. Not that it's any match for me. Pyloric stenosis is a chump.

Insulted by: People who frown when they say they're feeling 2 feet tall. There's nothing wrong with being 2 feet tall. I should know. In fact, that could be the new way to say someone's awesome. "Look at Josh. He's engaged to that really cool girl. He must feel 2 feet tall."

I'm not so sure about: Thumb sucking. I hear a lot of other babies talking up thumb sucking, but I have no idea where this so-called "thumb" is. I prefer to just jam my whole fist in my mouth. It makes me feel 2 feet tall.
I'm also not so sure about: This Dad guy. A few weeks ago, he got stuck in the baby carrier. Is he certified to watch kids on his own? Can I see some documentation on that?
Favorite activities: I really like the smiling thing I came up with. I just thought it up and get this: it didn't even take me long to invent! Now, whenever I do it, so does everyone else! I knew I should have copyrighted it.

Things I don't like: Still not crazy about the people who take the bottle away. I mean once it's out of my mouth, it might never come back! It could be gone forever! Where is it? I need that bottle! Help! Why are you torturing me? Oh, there it is. Ahhhh.

I have a crush on: Car rides. Rev up that 23-mile-per-gallon engine on the Honda CRV and I sleep like, well, me.

Major accomplishments: I don't think it's any big deal, but Mom and Dad seem to pretty pumped that I slept eight hours straight one night. (If they're that easy to impress, high school should be a cake walk.) I handled surgery better than most adults. I'm slowly learning to lift up this giant melon they call a head. Oh, and the smiling.