To begin, Matt grew up (at least, as long as he can remember) in Hoffman Estates Illinois, in the split-level house where his parents still live. He lived with his mom and dad and his little sister Megan (of recent Oreo-Eating Shame). He was also raised by a large and close-knit family, which was split between the Chicagoland area and his dad’s native Long Island. Of course, Matt and Lynne have only known each other since 2004 (so she wasn’t a part of his growing-up process), but Lynne has, by now, developed a pretty clear understanding of the experiences that have shaped
Matt’s personality.
And if Lynne has learned one thing about her future husband, it is this: Matt is a guy who likes to make lists. All baseball players who have hit 500 home runs, from Barry Bonds and Hank Aaron on down. All pitchers who have pitched 300 wins. All movies that have made it into the American Film Institute’s Top 100 Movies, then each of the Best Actors and Actresses of all time. Then Matt’s own personal list of the movies that should have made the list, in chronological order. Then a list of baseball’s top hitters again, this time organized by the year in which they hit their 500. You get the idea.
Since it is Lynne’s task to introduce you to the groom, she thought she’d use a format that Matt (since he’s sure to read this) would truly appreciate. A list. For anyone who’s counting (or planning to analyze and cross-reference the following information), she ranked them chronologically—in the order in which Matt would have experienced them—and placed the negative stuff first.
Things Matt really doesn’t like:
1. Floating Food
Anyone who knows Lynne knows that she has food issues (including a dislike of most sauces and a desire to eat everything plain), but Matt may take the cake on weird eating habits. To this day, he refuses to eat any foods that float, including cereal, soup, chili, or anything that sits in a thick broth. Since Matt and Lynne have been dating, she’s succeeded in expanded his horizons a bit. He now eats Thai food, stir-fry, and tapas (as long as Lynne does the cooking or ordering). But chicken noodle soup—no way.
2. Remembering cumbersome information
Matt found that, as he grew, people expected him to memorize things like his clothes size, his shoe size, and his favorite dishes at certain chain restaurants. People even expected him to be able to tell the difference between ham and turkey. Matt believed—as he does today—that committing this information to memory was useless, since someone would always be around to tell him what to order, and he could always take off his tennis shoe in the shoe store to decide what size to buy next. Any guesses on who he expects to remember whether or not he likes pesto?
Anyone who knows Lynne knows that she has food issues (including a dislike of most sauces and a desire to eat everything plain), but Matt may take the cake on weird eating habits. To this day, he refuses to eat any foods that float, including cereal, soup, chili, or anything that sits in a thick broth. Since Matt and Lynne have been dating, she’s succeeded in expanded his horizons a bit. He now eats Thai food, stir-fry, and tapas (as long as Lynne does the cooking or ordering). But chicken noodle soup—no way.
2. Remembering cumbersome information
Matt found that, as he grew, people expected him to memorize things like his clothes size, his shoe size, and his favorite dishes at certain chain restaurants. People even expected him to be able to tell the difference between ham and turkey. Matt believed—as he does today—that committing this information to memory was useless, since someone would always be around to tell him what to order, and he could always take off his tennis shoe in the shoe store to decide what size to buy next. Any guesses on who he expects to remember whether or not he likes pesto?
3. Tailgaters
Matt has a very strong sense of right and wrong, and a strong belief in protecting the safety of others. For this reason, Matt insists on burglar-proofing Lynne’s house, and he always follows basic traffic safety laws. Nothing makes Matt more annoyed than someone speeding on the road—cardinal sin #1—then riding his bumper, nudging him to violate the speed limit as well. Should Matt look in his rear-view mirror and see a car that is uncomfortably close, he makes a guttural sigh, then launches into a litany of rhetorical questions. "Doesn’t that driver know that if I slam on my brakes it will be impossible to avoid an accident? Doesn’t he realize I’m in traffic, behind 20 other cars? And what good does it do him to get that close to my bumper, anyway? Will he get where he’s going two seconds faster? Just to teach him a lesson, I’m not going to speed up no matter how close he gets!" Of course, Lynne is the only one who gets the lesson, since she’s usually the passenger in the car with Matt. The other driver is way out of earshot and therefore immune to his fist-shaking.
Matt has a very strong sense of right and wrong, and a strong belief in protecting the safety of others. For this reason, Matt insists on burglar-proofing Lynne’s house, and he always follows basic traffic safety laws. Nothing makes Matt more annoyed than someone speeding on the road—cardinal sin #1—then riding his bumper, nudging him to violate the speed limit as well. Should Matt look in his rear-view mirror and see a car that is uncomfortably close, he makes a guttural sigh, then launches into a litany of rhetorical questions. "Doesn’t that driver know that if I slam on my brakes it will be impossible to avoid an accident? Doesn’t he realize I’m in traffic, behind 20 other cars? And what good does it do him to get that close to my bumper, anyway? Will he get where he’s going two seconds faster? Just to teach him a lesson, I’m not going to speed up no matter how close he gets!" Of course, Lynne is the only one who gets the lesson, since she’s usually the passenger in the car with Matt. The other driver is way out of earshot and therefore immune to his fist-shaking.
4. The Big Ten Network
As a later entry will explain, Matt is a huge Illinois basketball and football fan. He also has a strong sense of what things should cost, and he is committed to paying a fair price—and not a penny more—for any product or service rendered. He thinks that, as a resident in the fair state of Illinois, he should be able to get all Illinois basketball and football games on TV, despite the fact that he pays only $17 a month for basic cable. He thinks it is unacceptable that Notre Dame football games (although not played in Illinois) and North Carolina basketball games (also not played in Illinois) are broadcast on basic cable, while his alma mater gets no air time. He finds it even more unacceptable that Big Ten Colleges have conspired against their fans and created a new channel, the Big Ten Network, on which, for an obscene $50 a month, one can watch games that should be shown on network stations for free. So despite his desire to actually watch Illinois sporting events, Matt refuses to the get the Big Ten Network on his TV. Instead, he spends his game days huddled next to the radio, listening to the games for free.
As a later entry will explain, Matt is a huge Illinois basketball and football fan. He also has a strong sense of what things should cost, and he is committed to paying a fair price—and not a penny more—for any product or service rendered. He thinks that, as a resident in the fair state of Illinois, he should be able to get all Illinois basketball and football games on TV, despite the fact that he pays only $17 a month for basic cable. He thinks it is unacceptable that Notre Dame football games (although not played in Illinois) and North Carolina basketball games (also not played in Illinois) are broadcast on basic cable, while his alma mater gets no air time. He finds it even more unacceptable that Big Ten Colleges have conspired against their fans and created a new channel, the Big Ten Network, on which, for an obscene $50 a month, one can watch games that should be shown on network stations for free. So despite his desire to actually watch Illinois sporting events, Matt refuses to the get the Big Ten Network on his TV. Instead, he spends his game days huddled next to the radio, listening to the games for free.
5. Fast Food Restaurants with Excessive Packaging
Since college, Matt has been something of an environmentalist. He took notes during Al Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary, An Inconvenient Truth. He researched and then built a compost pile in Lynne’s backyard, where he turns discarded orange peels and broccoli stalks into hearty garden soil. He minimizes his own waste and recycles all of his paper, plastics, and millions of aluminum Diet Coke cans. So he can’t handle it when he visits a fast food restaurant that does not take these necessary steps to protect Mother Earth. The biggest offender here is Portillo’s Hot Dogs, a Chicago staple, which is cheap, efficient, and makes near-perfect hot dogs and chocolate milkshakes. However, Portillo’s still uses styrofoam containers for their hamburgers and pours their milkshakes into styrofoam cups. They also place your order in a bag, regardless of whether you plan to eat in or take it to go. For these reasons, Matt has decided to boycott Portillo’s. And on occasions when Lynne and Matt are desperate for a hot dog and have no other choices, Matt requires that they take a moment after they consume their Portillo’s meal to look at all of the unnecessary waste that was created by just two people and imagine the obscenely large pile of garbage that must be amassing behind the restaurant. Then Lynne and Matt sigh a little sigh and shake their heads disapprovingly, and Matt says he thinks he should send a complaint to their corporate office.
Since college, Matt has been something of an environmentalist. He took notes during Al Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary, An Inconvenient Truth. He researched and then built a compost pile in Lynne’s backyard, where he turns discarded orange peels and broccoli stalks into hearty garden soil. He minimizes his own waste and recycles all of his paper, plastics, and millions of aluminum Diet Coke cans. So he can’t handle it when he visits a fast food restaurant that does not take these necessary steps to protect Mother Earth. The biggest offender here is Portillo’s Hot Dogs, a Chicago staple, which is cheap, efficient, and makes near-perfect hot dogs and chocolate milkshakes. However, Portillo’s still uses styrofoam containers for their hamburgers and pours their milkshakes into styrofoam cups. They also place your order in a bag, regardless of whether you plan to eat in or take it to go. For these reasons, Matt has decided to boycott Portillo’s. And on occasions when Lynne and Matt are desperate for a hot dog and have no other choices, Matt requires that they take a moment after they consume their Portillo’s meal to look at all of the unnecessary waste that was created by just two people and imagine the obscenely large pile of garbage that must be amassing behind the restaurant. Then Lynne and Matt sigh a little sigh and shake their heads disapprovingly, and Matt says he thinks he should send a complaint to their corporate office.
Things Matt really likes:
Matt got his love of baseball from his Grandpa, a Dodgers fan who was still bummed about the Bums leaving Brooklyn, and his dad, a die-hard New York Mets fan. From them, Matt learned to love The Game: watching it, scoring it, playing it, learning about it. He also loves collecting The Cards, which are easy to store, fun to look at, and full of lists and lists of information. They can also be organized and re-organized according to many different criteria, which—like baseball itself—can provide endless hours of fun. As an adult, Matt’s love of baseball even developed into a desire to see every baseball stadium in the United States, a quest in which Lynne now participates. To date: 11 down, 19
to go.
2. Songs with lyrics about baseball
Closely related to Matt’s love of baseball is his love of songs about baseball. What is most impressive about Matt’s love of songs like "I’ve Got Those Saint Louis Browns" and "Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio" is that he actually knows all of the words. To this day, he can’t remember the lyrics to his favorite tunes by Queen or the Beatles, but he can sing a mean version of "D-O-D-G-E-R-S," which sets an entire inning of a Dodgers/Giants game to music, throw by throw and pitch by pitch. Lynne’s favorite tune of the bunch: "Baseball, Baseball," a song in which a girl complains because her boyfriend can’t focus on her. He’s too busy thinking about baseball.
3. American Presidents
As a kid, Matt was fascinated by the Presidents. Why? We may never know. But he loved to read about them and talk about them with his friends. He even collected miniature models of the presidents—still on display in his bedroom at home—and dressed up as a different president each year for Halloween. Although this unusual interest may not have won him any popularity contests in elementary school, it did come in handy later in his adult life. When Matt and Lynne visited the Lincoln Park Zoo early on in their relationship, Lynne commented that a bearded monkey bore a striking resemblance to Millard Fillmore, U.S. President from 1850 to 1853. Not only did Matt know exactly who she was talking about, he’d had precisely the same thought.
As a kid, Matt was fascinated by the Presidents. Why? We may never know. But he loved to read about them and talk about them with his friends. He even collected miniature models of the presidents—still on display in his bedroom at home—and dressed up as a different president each year for Halloween. Although this unusual interest may not have won him any popularity contests in elementary school, it did come in handy later in his adult life. When Matt and Lynne visited the Lincoln Park Zoo early on in their relationship, Lynne commented that a bearded monkey bore a striking resemblance to Millard Fillmore, U.S. President from 1850 to 1853. Not only did Matt know exactly who she was talking about, he’d had precisely the same thought.
4. Surprises
According to Matt’s mom, Matt was a kid who always liked surprises. This was most evident each Christmas morning, when Matt knew he would be surprised with a motherload of exciting gifts. He might get new baseball cards, a new safe in which he could store his baseball cards, or even a new book about Andrew Jackson. The problem was, Matt felt, that he couldn’t trust himself to wait until Christmas morning to see and then open all of those presents; he might try to sneak down there and blow it after everyone went to bed on Christmas Eve. So one year Matt tied his ankle to his bedpost with the cord of a bathrobe—to ensure the Christmas morning surprise. This love of surprises—both being surprised and planning surprises for others—has survived with Matt into adulthood. The problem: Lynne lacks Matt’s self control, and she ruins nearly every surprise before she manages to get it off the ground. She also hates it when the joke is on her.
According to Matt’s mom, Matt was a kid who always liked surprises. This was most evident each Christmas morning, when Matt knew he would be surprised with a motherload of exciting gifts. He might get new baseball cards, a new safe in which he could store his baseball cards, or even a new book about Andrew Jackson. The problem was, Matt felt, that he couldn’t trust himself to wait until Christmas morning to see and then open all of those presents; he might try to sneak down there and blow it after everyone went to bed on Christmas Eve. So one year Matt tied his ankle to his bedpost with the cord of a bathrobe—to ensure the Christmas morning surprise. This love of surprises—both being surprised and planning surprises for others—has survived with Matt into adulthood. The problem: Lynne lacks Matt’s self control, and she ruins nearly every surprise before she manages to get it off the ground. She also hates it when the joke is on her.
5. Running
Matt once told Lynne that he started running when he realized he wasn’t that great at baseball: probably because it was like going around the bases lots and lots of times without the pressure of batting or getting tagged out. Matt ran both track and cross country throughout all four years of high school and his first year of college and the University of Illinois. He made great friends who were fellow runners. And he used running as an opportunity to really push and challenge himself. To date, Matt has successfully completed the Chicago Marathon seven times—the true test of endurance and the ultimate expression of a love for the road.
Matt once told Lynne that he started running when he realized he wasn’t that great at baseball: probably because it was like going around the bases lots and lots of times without the pressure of batting or getting tagged out. Matt ran both track and cross country throughout all four years of high school and his first year of college and the University of Illinois. He made great friends who were fellow runners. And he used running as an opportunity to really push and challenge himself. To date, Matt has successfully completed the Chicago Marathon seven times—the true test of endurance and the ultimate expression of a love for the road.
6. The Outdoors
Matt got involved in Boy Scouts when he was in elementary school, and stuck with it through high school, when he earned his Eagle Scout Award. Being involved in Boy Scouts instilled in Matt a love of being outdoors—hiking, canoeing, camping, building fires and cooking over them, tying knots, etc. Of course, Matt has never been content with simply being Daniel Boone. In fact, his favorite outdoor activities are those that have just a little bit of danger in them: using a picnic table as a giant sled, jumping off cliff banks into river, sleeping in close quarters with Robbie Wagner, hiking the Grand Canyon without a tent. These outdoor skills—and Matt’s boyish sense of adventure—helped bring Matt and Lynne together, since we met and were engaged on (separate) canoe trips, surrounded by nothing but Mother Nature.
7. Old Movies
In college, Matt caught mono and was stuck in bed for the bulk of a whole summer. Looking for something to do, he decided to watch all of the American Film Institute’s Top 100 Movies, in order. After he watched each movie, Matt read about the films—the actors and directors involved, the film style used. Then he sought out other films by the same directors. This experience got Matt hooked on watching classic movies and encouraging others to watch them. Some of his favorites: Dr. Strangelove (which Lynne doesn’t really care for), Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (which Lynne does care for), and Casablanca (which everyone, including the judges at the American Film Institute, really really care for).
8. Blue and OrangeEven as a kid, Matt had been prone to wearing a lot of blue and orange, since they were the colors of his favorite baseball team, the New York Mets. They were also the school colors of his high school, Hoffman High. Then Matt attended the University of Illinois for both his undergraduate and graduate degrees, and he became a big-time fan Illinois sports fan. At Illinois, his orange and blue wardrobe expanded. Now, he’s got blue sweaters with orange stripes, orange sweaters with blue stripes, blue and orange hats, orange Illini sweatshirts, blue Illini sweatshirts—the works. He even thinks blue and orange are good colors for interior decorating. He’s got a blue bedspread and a blue couch with orange pillows. For their wedding, Matt will probably even suggest Painting the Hall Orange, or maybe scheduling an appearance from Mr. Blue Hands at the reception.
9. Newspapers, Newspapers
Matt earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism in 2000, and his Master’s Degree in Journalism in 2001. Since then, Matt has been employed as a newspaper reporter, and he has worked his way up through a series of small, local papers in Illinois. He currently works at the Aurora Beacon News, where he covers Police and the Courts. But Newspapers are more than just a career for Matt. Matt actually loves newspapers. He reads up to five newspapers a day, just to get ideas. He collects newspapers from any town he visits, to check out their formatting and analyze their angle. He pours over old newspapers, which he reads on microfilm, and comments on how journalistic style has changed over the years. He likes to talk about the future of newspapers in general, and his vision for the Beacon in specific. He even wraps all gifts in newspaper—not because he has an abundance of it, but because he can think of no better type of paper for enclosing something of value. Often, he even dreams about newspapers. Of course, Lynne is very proud of Matt, both for his talent as a writer and also for his dedication to his job. Sometimes, though, she wishes he’d get off the topic of newspapers and bring the conversation back to baseball.
Matt earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism in 2000, and his Master’s Degree in Journalism in 2001. Since then, Matt has been employed as a newspaper reporter, and he has worked his way up through a series of small, local papers in Illinois. He currently works at the Aurora Beacon News, where he covers Police and the Courts. But Newspapers are more than just a career for Matt. Matt actually loves newspapers. He reads up to five newspapers a day, just to get ideas. He collects newspapers from any town he visits, to check out their formatting and analyze their angle. He pours over old newspapers, which he reads on microfilm, and comments on how journalistic style has changed over the years. He likes to talk about the future of newspapers in general, and his vision for the Beacon in specific. He even wraps all gifts in newspaper—not because he has an abundance of it, but because he can think of no better type of paper for enclosing something of value. Often, he even dreams about newspapers. Of course, Lynne is very proud of Matt, both for his talent as a writer and also for his dedication to his job. Sometimes, though, she wishes he’d get off the topic of newspapers and bring the conversation back to baseball.
10. Lynne!
Of course, it goes without saying that Matt really likes Lynne—otherwise they wouldn’t be getting married, right? But here’s what’s really great: Lynne and Matt are just perfect for each other. Because, as this blog posting hopefully conveyed, Matt is a bit of a weird dude. He’s eccentric. He’s more than a little bit odd. But (luckily for both of them) he found an eccentric, slightly odd girl who’s crazy about him… and content to get married on the anniversary of Alexander Hamilton’s death-by-duel, then ride off into the sunset in a canoe, wearing blue and orange and singing about "baseball, baseball."
