Honeymoon Adventures II: Miami Twice

So, here's one thing that can be said about Miami: there's not much to say about Miami. OK, sure it very well may be a party in the city when the heat is on (all night and day, 'til the break of dawn) but when it's overcast and the Marlins are out of town, there's not much going.

Matt had been to Miami once before and it was great. That was when, as a college senior, the Illini went to the prestigious MicronPC.com Bowl. After the 63-21 drubbing of the University of Virginia, everyone spent New Year's 1999/2000 on the beach. Some guy took his girlfriend's clothes off then threw her in the Atlantic Ocean; then Shalin stepped on a syringe and had to go to the emergency room. It was interesting, for sure. Matt was looking forward to going back.

But the city is much different in hurricane season.

So on Aug. 16 - the second day in Miami - Lynne and Matt's second day in Miami, they decided to grab a 10-minute cab ride ($30!) to the local mall where they wandered around. The highlight was when they found a machine that looked the one in Big. Matt wished he was married to a great girl. And then...he was! Magic.

After wandering through the mall for a while, a guy noticed Matt's Illini hat. The guy was on his way to the bathroom, but he stopped for a chat.

Random dude: "Hey, you from Chicago? I'm from Chicago!"

Matt: "Yep. Cool."

Random dude: "How's Juice Williams going to be this year?"

Matt: "Pretty good, I think."

Random dude: "All right. Go Cubs!"

Odd.

Finally, Lynne and Matt took a boat tour of the Miami Harbor. As boat tours go, it was fairly shallow (the substance, not the water). But as with everything else in Miami, it was bilingual - Spanish and English. It was kind of fun to hear them say (to Matt): "Blah blah blah Rosie O'Donnell blah blah blah." Matt never did learn that Spanish.

The boat drove around the harbor, peaking at the back of rich people's mansions and then into even richer people's summer homes.

Later, when Matt looked at the pictures - and he took a lot of them - he couldn't remember whose house was whose. Was that Sylvester Stallone's old home or Paula Abdul's current digs? The only one they knew for sure was Shaaaaaquuuuile Oooooo'Neal's mansion. As you can see from the picture, it was pretty easy to tell which $40 million pier was his. They also saw Al Capone's hideout, but Al did not appear to be home.

After the boat tour was over, Lynne and Matt didn't have much to do. They had checked out of their hotel room, but the flight wasn't until 1:30 a.m. the next morning. So, they wandered over to a museum (is there anyone else who'd go to a museum when they're in Miami?), which turned out not to be a museum at all. Odd.

Eventually, Lynne and Matt wandered back to the hotel and Lynne promptly fell asleep in a lobby chair, while Matt took picture No. 1 in a series he calls, "Sleeping Beauty Snores."

With even more time to kill, they eventually wandered over to see Hancock starring Will Smith. At the time, Matt thought it was pretty good, although when he gave it some thought, there were some fairly big logic holes in the script. But, hey, it was either that or the Chipmunks movie.

Finally, finally, finally, at 1:30 a.m., they boarded the 5-hour flight bound for Lima, Peru, South America. You know what that means: There will finally be something interesting in this travel diary.

One final note before we venture south of the Equator. Those of you studying the photos closely will notice the caterpillar that climbed onto Matt's upper lip. Matt decided before the honeymoon that he would spend this romantic time growing a mustache. It has long been his dream to have his picture taken with a mustache that he did not buy from a magic shop. Needless to say, Lynne was very excited.

Day Two summary: one museum that was not a museum, countless outrageous rich people mansions, two Will Smith references, one Chicago shout-out, one flight that was really the next day

Mustache status: hazy