The measurements: 21 lbs, 6 oz and 28.5 inches long. That makes me... pleasantly plump? Some people who think they're oh-so-funny might say "chunky", but I think "healthy" is better. OK, sure I'm growing out of a few 12-month outfits and my feet are the size of Manute Bol's, but so what?
Best friends: Books! Shiny books, short books, books with animals, tall books and all kinds of books. I can sit and listen to mom and dad read these books for a long, long, long time. Like half an hour! Just the other day I was perusing a very interesting novella about "colors". I don't mean to spoil it if you haven't read it, but let me say this: the ending is very unexpected and yet follows logically from the one-color theme that the author established earlier in the work. I enjoyed it so much I ate the corner.
Enemies: Diaper changing. And being strapped into my high chair or stroller. Mind you, I have been getting my diaper changed for months now, and the high chair is no stranger, either. But just last week I decided that anything that holds me down--even for a minute or two--is an enemy. How dare they pin me to the floor and forbid me from kicking my legs! How dare they force me into a seat and constrain me with buckles!! Don't they know a dude's gotta move?
Just found out about: Going from sitting to laying down to sitting again and back to laying down. Taking a bath in the Big Boy Bathtub (no stupid infant tub for me!). Showing everyone how I'm SOOOOO big. Learning to say "mum mum mum"...which sounds sort-of like a word I hear a lot, and everyone (especially Mommy) gets excited when I say it. I'm not quite sure what it means yet, but I like the way it sounds. Honestly, Daddy says it's amazing how many new skills I seem to add every week. He just sits and watches me spot a toy across the room, then roll, scoot and shuffle my way over there. I grab it and sit back up. He's says something like, "This kid's amazing!" or "Just a few months ago, he couldn't hardly do anything. Look at him now!" He's very nice, but Daddy is pretty easily amused. Sometimes I sneeze peas on him while he's feeding me. He tries to look mad, but I know he's laughing. Gets him every time.
I'm not so sure about: This second tooth. The first one was kind of interesting, but how many more do I really need? Isn't this a bit redundant? Dad says if I get more teeth I can eat pizza. Is that really going to better than peas and a bottle? I have my doubts.
Favorite activities: Swimming class and music class with mommy! I'm the youngest one in both classes, but I think I might be the smartest. First of all, I don't cry. Second, I don't go for boring instruments like a dumb flute. Tambourine is where it's at! And in swimming, they want us to float toward the "safety" wall, which they mark with a rubber duckie. Seriously? I have a duckie at home in my own tub, and I've been looking at walls my whole life. I want to meet that other baby in the class! His face is so interesting. Next time I see it, I think I'll grab his nose. Again.
I have a crush on: The Outside. This is a good time to evaluate my life so far, since I've spent equal time Inside Mom's Tummy and Outside. At first, I wasn't too sure about this Outside business. Inside had a lot going for it: It was quiet. It was warm. I always had privacy. I got to be naked all the time. The umbilical cord was pretty cool - very stretchy. I could kick mom in the ribs whenever I want, which to a fetus is high-level humor. On the other hand, I didn't see much future on the Inside. I could never picture where I would set up a TV and having guests over was pretty much impossible. The Outside has a lot of attractions: Much easier to watch baseball games and ceiling fans. Don't have to eat what Mommy's eating. Room to stretch out. Books only seem to be available on the Outside. And Daddy's out here, which is pretty good. So, overall, I recommend everyone give the Outside a try. It's surprisingly fun, even though dogs lick you in the face.
Major accomplishments: Army crawled across most of the house. Learned to open drawers. Gave Stephen Strasburg a few tips on throwing a backdoor slider. Gave my dad a fantastic Father's Day present: me!
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