So, the more Lynne tells Matt about this honeymoon in Peru, the more he thinks, ahhh, how romantic.There will be no electricity on two days of the trip? Who cares - love will light the way.
No one speaks English? Big deal - Lynne is brilliant and Matt is a brilliant faker. Love is the only language they need.
You'll have to wear long sleeves in the sweltering so the mosquitoes don't eat your arm? So what - love is an adventure and this is a great start.
You might get yellow fever.
I'm sorry - what's that?
And typhoid.
How's that now?
Or tetanus.
Say what?
So, last week, Matt found himself driving to the DuPage Medical Center.
"How many shots are we going to get?" he asked. (Ignorance is bliss.)
"At least one," Lynne responded confidently.
Well, yes, five is at least one.
Yellow fever and typhoid in the right arm. Hepatitis A and B in the left arm. Tetanus, for some reason, in the back of the left arm. Love sticks. With needles, sometimes.
"Now, yellow fever is a live virus, so you'll have to stay here for half an hour to make sure nothing goes wrong," Needle Lady said.
Matt finally had to tell the lady: "Just go ahead and do what you're going to do. I'm sure you know what you're talking about. I trust you. I just don't want to think about it or hear about it."
Matt took his shots like a man, or some reasonable facsimile. Then, he pretended he was Being There for Lynne, but really he winced and looked away when she got her shots.
To be perfectly honest, Needle Lady was really nice and funny. She enjoyed teasing Matt, telling him she was going to sharpen up her needles for him. Ha-ha. Joke's on her when the check bounces.
She gave Lynne and Matt all sorts of advice about traveling in Peru and had lots of travel disease trivia. (For instance, you need the most shots to go to India, where they still have polio. Take that Jonas Salk!)
So, after some hesitation, Matt was ready to buy into the romance of a honeymoon in Peru again. That's when Needle Lady gave them the diarrhea pills.
Excuse me?
