Least supporting actor: Man on Train Platform

Matt will post a very short review of Public Enemies later this week. For now, enjoy a pre-publication of a column Matt wrote about looking for himself in the movie.

For least supporting actor
By Matt
In case you hadn’t heard, a movie called Public Enemies opened this week. It’s hardly gotten any media coverage, so it should be noted here that parts of the John Dillinger biopic were filmed in Aurora and Chicago.
Allegedly, the movie stars Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. I saw Public Enemies when it opened Wednesday, but I have no way of knowing if these two fine actors made the final cut. I was too busy looking for the real star: me.
More than a year ago, I tried out to be an extra. Initially I thought I’d been rejected, but I ended up getting the call.
In May 2008, I spent two nights walking back and forth in Union Station and outside the Biograph Theater in Chicago . Most of the time I was so far away from the cameras, I never heard anyone yell “Action!” or “Cut!” and never had any idea what was going on.
It was like working security at the Super Bowl — great seats, but you’re facing the wrong way.
At some point, I did spot all the male leads: Bill Crudup passed me in Union Station, I glimpsed Johnny Depp at Biograph, and I actually walked past Christian Bale during a scene. If an extra tells you they don’t care about seeing the stars, or it doesn’t matter if they end up on camera, they’re terrible liars. That’s the only reason to do it.
That being said, an extra’s life isn’t glamorous. On set, we were never called “extras,” which would at least imply we were some kind of happy bonus. We were “background” — the mobile equivalent of a tree or a telephone.
It was a very strange, monotonous experience punctuated by moments of seeing something — or someone — exciting. So although I knew it would only last a split second, I was eager to look for myself. (Oddly, I can not find the same level of enthusiasm for locating myself every morning in the bathroom mirror.)
I thought there were two possibilities: I was in a large crowd of people waiting for a train to pull into Union Station. The odds weren’t good there. But, I had ended up very close to a scene where Bale is organizing FBI men outside the Biograph. I put the odds at 50-50 the back of my head might appear in that scene.
I had enlisted my family to assist in the hunt, although I was a bit discouraged when my mom left the theater, pointed to a picture and asked if that was the Public Enemies poster. It was an ad for the new Harry Potter film.
In the theater, I kept my eyes wide. (Think Clockwork Orange .) I’ve watched thousands of movies, but for the first time, I looked right past the stars. I found myself admiring the subtle work of Woman On Bench, Confused Bank Customer and Man with Hat. I was even jealous of Reporter Who Asks Dumb Question. (My real-life specialty.)
Soon enough, the credits were rolling without a glimpse of my ugly mug. Still, I enjoyed seeing how “my” scenes looked in a real movie.
As we walked out, my wife said: “I think I saw you.” Surely, she was joking.
“Were you wearing a brown coat?”
“Yes.”
“Were you wearing a tan hat?”
“Yes.”
“Were you holding a suitcase? And you were standing, like this, facing the train? And were there two guys behind you?”
Yes, yes, yes.
I couldn’t believe it.
I had missed me, even though I knew where to look. I had waited a year, then whiffed.
But I’m told Man on Train Platform was brilliant. Is there an Academy Award category for that?