Better Know A Baby: The Answers

And now the answer to The Baby quiz!

1. Baby Hanley is likely to be:
A. a Mets fan
B. a White Sox fan
C. a Brewers fan
D. anything but a Cubs fan
Sorry Grandma Hanley, it's not gonna happen.

2. Lynne and Matt get free tickets to a White Sox game. What is likely to happen?
A. They buy a third seat and take Baby Hanley along.
B. Lynne stays home with the baby and allows Matt to take a friend to the game
C. They call in the grandparents for some babysitting service.
D. They stay home and watch the game in HD.
Pass up something free? Matt's not going to let that happen.

3. Jack and Baby Hanley meet for the first time. What is likely to happen?
A. Baby Hanley is lulled to sleep by the smell of Jack’s breath.
B. Baby Hanley pulls on Jack’s tail.
C. Jack licks a whole meal off Baby Hanley’s face.
D. Jack steals one of Baby Hanley’s socks.
Jack does like socks, but Baby will be wearing a onsie. Jack has terrible breath and stump tail, but he does love to lick faces. It's kind of weird.

4. Lynne leaves newborn Baby Hanley at home with Matt for the first time. For what reason is he most likely to call for backup?
A. He doesn’t know how to change the baby’s diaper.
B. He can’t figure out how to snap the baby’s onesie.
C. He doesn’t know where to find the baby’s bottles.
D. He can’t remember his shoe size.
Or how to turn on the stove. Or what size shirt he wears. Or where the checkbook is...he's clueless.

5. Which Peanuts character will newborn Baby Hanley be most like?
A. Snoopy
B. Pigpen
C. Sally
D. Charlie Brown
Bald and big head. That sounds about right.

6. Grandma is watching Baby Hanley. Which of these is most likely to happen?
A. Grandma has to stop Baby Hanley from eating out of Jack’s bowl.
B. Grandpa stops by and falls asleep on the couch.
C. Grandma meets the neighbors in the driveway and talks for hours.
D. Grandma calls Matt and Lynne five times for help.
Since the neighbors speak no English, it has to be B. And it doesn't matter which Grandpa.

7. Which of the following baseball players’ nicknames will NOT apply to Baby Hanley?
A. George Herman Ruth
B. Ted Williams
C. Harold Reese
D. Frank Thomas
"Babe" Ruth, Ted "The Kid" Williams and "Pee Wee" Reese could also share nicknames with The Baby. But not Frank Thomas, "The Big Hurt".

8. It’s 2 a.m. and Baby Hanley starts crying. What is likely to happen?
A. Lynne gets out of bed to rock the baby.
B. Matt gets out of bed to rock the baby.
C. Jack gets out of bed and cries louder than the baby.
D. No one gets out of bed; Matt is still awake.
Lynne wakes up early; Matt stays up late. They may meet in the middle when Baby Hanley arrives.

9. It’s time to change a really poopy diaper. What is likely to happen?
A. Jack tries to steal it.
B. Matt tries to compost it.
C. Lynne runs away --too stinky!
D. Matt and Lynne simply change it; they’ve seen worse from the dog.
There was this one time...uh, never mind.

10. Aunt Leslie and Aunt Laura will be responsible for teaching Baby Hanley to:
A. do the Cha Cha slide
B. root for Western Illinois University
C. swim underwater
D. get under Lynne’s skin
We already know the baby will be an Illini fan, so B is out. But both Leslie and Laura are super swimmers. Unlike Lynne and Matt.

11. It’s Baby Hanley’s first Christmas. What is likely to be his/her favorite gift?
A. a new set of golf clubs from Grandpa Seago
B. a mustache comb from Grandpa Hanley
C. goggles and fins from Aunt Leslie
D. the wrapping paper
Wrapping paper is a cool gift.

12. Matt gets a bonus at work. What are Lynne and Matt likely to spend it on?
A. diapers
B. baseball cards
C. college savings bonds
D. a return trip to Peru
Trick question. Matt will not be getting a bonus at work.

13. It’s the day of Aunt Megan’s wedding: July 17, 2010. What is Baby Hanley likely to do?
A. crawl down the aisle as the Flower Child.
B. cry harder than his/her dad.
C. stay up later than his/her mom.
D. eat the party favor when no one is looking.
Lynne's bedtime is 6:45 p.m. And no one will be crying more than Matt.

14. Matt and Lynne will spend a lot of time reading to Baby Hanley. Which of the following is s/he most likely to enjoy?
A. Roger Ebert’s year in review
B. A Child’s Guide to Medieval History
C. The AP Stylebook
D. Casey at the Bat
The AP Stylebook is good reading, however.

15. On the day Baby Hanley is born, which of the following is likely to be happen?
A. Lynne will cite historical precedents of famous births.
B. Matt will panic and try to name the baby Gargamel.
C. Grandma and Grandpa will be unresponsive to calls and e-mails.
D. The baby will be welcomed by a loving group of family and friends.
Nuf said.