Can I see The Ring?

Immediately after you get engaged, people start to hear about it. Your parents tell their friends and extended family members, who bring it up when they see you. Someone at work notices the engagement ring, then tells the rest of the office. Your friends spread the word by Phone Tree. And every time you see someone new, they say the same thing: "Congratulations!" Followed by a hug and the inevitable question: "Can I see the ring?"

As a recently afianced couple, this was one of Lynne and Matt's favorite moments. Lynne would extend her hand to show off The Ring, pictured at left. Now, it's a pretty little ring--quite sparkly, too--but it's not what most of Lynne's friends have. It's not large or flashy, and it looks very traditional with its square cut and its gold band.

Once people saw The Ring, their faces would change. They would struggle to compliment Matt on his ring-choosing prowess or attempt to congratulate Lynne on choosing a guy with such great taste in jewelry. They would all say something nice, but their faces would always betray their confusion.

Then Lynne would explain. The Ring is Lynne's grandmother's engagement ring. (If you look really really closely, you can see it in the picture on the right.) It was originally given to Lynne's grandmother, Betty Mitchell, by her then boyfriend Red Stewart. The date of their engagement has since been lost, but it was probably during the summer of 1940. Lynne's grandmother wore The Ring from 1940 until her death in 1986, when first Lynne's grandad and then Lynne's Aunt Carol cared for it. Aunt Carol offered Matt the ring in the summer of 2007, so he could give it to Lynne.

For Lynne, having her grandmother's ring is very special. Like Lynne, Betty Mitchell was a teacher who loved to read (especially about history!) and tried to learn as much as she could about the world in which she lived. She fussed over Lynne a lot as a little girl and gave Lynne some of the love of learning that she has today. And, to make the deal even sweeter, The Ring was originally purchased by Lynne's Grandad, one of her favorite people in the whole world. Wearing the Ring reminds Lynne not only of how much Matt cares about her, but how much she was loved by both of her grandparents.

And that's not even the whole Ring Story. Like Lynne, Matt also had a close bond with is grandparents, especially his grandpa Matt Hanley, who passed away in 2006. When Lynne and Matt were preparing to buy their wedding rings, Mr. Hanley offered Matt his grandpa's ring, pictured at left. It was given to The Original Matt Hanley by his wife, Anne Garvey, on their wedding day: August 28, 1948. He wore it on his finger for over 57 years.

To fit on Matt's finger, the ring had to be re-sized (just stretched a little, with none of the original gold taken away), and a new inscription was added. The inside of the ring now reads: AG 1948 MH 2008 LS. It will now serve as a symbol of not only Matt and Anne's marriage, but also Matt & Lynne's.

Like Lynne, Matt is excited to be getting his grandpa's ring. It will be a daily reminder of his grandpa, as well as a reminder of the strong foundation that was built for Lynne and Matt--as individuals and as married people--by their parents and grandparents. On July 12, Lynne & Matt will be newlyweds, but their rings will symbolize over 100 years of happy marriage. And even more than shiny new rings bought from the store, they'll symbolize not just the union of two people but of two families.

And when Lynne and Matt's friends hear all of THAT--despite the appearance of the well-worn wedding bands--they can't help but be jealous. Lynne and Matt don't blame them.

Hairy, er, Happy Father's Day!

This is what happened.
One day, not too very long ago, Matt went to get his haircut before work.
Matt and the Barber Lady are making small talk - where do you work? Oh, really, what do you write about? etc. - when Matt looks down at the smock they put over his work clothes.
The smock is all black and Matt notices it's covered in many light brown hairs. And then...
"Wow, there's a lot of white hair on there," Matt says.
"Don't worry, there's not too many white hairs," Barber Lady says, repeating the phrase 'white hair' for some reason.
"Well, there used to be none!" Matt tells Barber Lady.

OK, we need to stop right here for Short History of Hanley Hair.

Matt's grandfather, also Matt had classic black hair. When he was young. By the time Little Matt came around, Matt (the original) barely any hair at all.

Matt's dad, Mark, had jet black hair. When he was young. Now, it's not quite as black. That's as far as this blog will go with that.

So, back to the story.

Sadly - embarassingly - it can be told here that Matt loves his hair. It gets more maintenance and oil than his car, by a long shot.

Still, truth be told, Matt didn't mind the white hairs too much. There were only a few, and it was all kind of amusing. Matt considered naming each one after an unpleasant wedding task. ("Whoops, looks like picking-an-invitation-font fell out!")
But what happened next was unprecedented.
Barber Lady told Matt - no asking, no requesting, not even a courtesy check - to lean his head back. She was going to trim up his eyebrows.
What?
"Do I have wild eyebrows?" Matt thought. "When did this happen?"

Now, this was a fact that was left out of the earlier Hanley Hair History. Matt's dad also has been known to have some wild eyebrows in need of trimming.

So this unexpected eyebrow trim - so obvious to Barber Lady it wasn't even worth a warning - could only mean one thing: Matt was becoming his father.

There had been several previous signs that something like this might be coming.

Sign One: Both Matt's Dad and Matt's grandfather had this saying. Matt would ask for something strange and they'd respond with "I'll give you... (fill in item requested)."

Why they would say this is a mystery. "I'll give you grape jelly." Yes, thank you, that is what I asked for in the first place. Matt realizes this phrase makes no sense. But he cannot help using it.

Sign Two: Matt follows Lynne around her house, turning off lights obsessively. This is definitely a Hanley Man trait. Mark has been known to turn off lights while users are still in the shower. Walk in the kitchen to get the remote and all the lights are off when you return.

Sign Three (and this is a big one): It is a well-known fact that when Matt's mom goes out for the night leaving Matt's Dad to himself, Mr. Hanley participates in a consistent ritual: He runs, gets a slice of pizza and watches The Godfather. Once he switched it up and watched The Godfather, Part II.

The other day Lynne went out of town. Having no one to eat dinner with, Matt was left to fend for himself. So he ran, made a frozen pizza and watched The Wire. The Godfather was already packed in a box.

So that clinched it. Matt and Mark and Matt were one and the same; the Hanley Men Graph neither dips nor accelerats, simply stays in one steady, static line.

Here's what Matt has to say about all this, on Father's Day, as he enjoys a trip to Tiger Stadium with his Dad.

Great.

If it means weedwhacking the eyebrows, turning off lights or - gasp - going bald, Matt would be overjoyed if he turned out just like his Grandpa or Dad.
I'll give you great role models.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. We love you very much.