Matt's resolutions: a look back

In 2009, Matt revealed his goals for self-improvement and technical accuracy. It's time to re-visit those goals and see how Matt fared.

Resolution: Shoot no more than two elk
Matt resolved to shoot no more than two elk. Possibly fewer than two.
Resolution's resolution: Matt shot just one elk this year - and even that was an accident.
RESOLUTION ACCOMPLISHED

Resolution: Work it
Matt resolved to work it.
Resolution's resolution: Matt did work it.
RESOLUTION ACCOMPLISHED

Resolution: Drive more than 450 miles in a car
Matt resolved to travel at least 450 miles this year, in an effort to broaden his personal horizons.
Resolution's resolution: Thanks to a late December road trip (Hello, Carbondale!) Matt finished the year at 453 miles.
RESOLUTION ACCOMPLISHED

Resolution: Consistent blinking
Matt resolved to blink in every month this year.
Resolution's resolution: Matt blinked in every month except September. Now, Matt could be forgiven for overlooking blinking in that month, since he was so busy with the birth of his firstborn son. And, furthermore, Matt blinked twice in April, so that should count for something. But Matt can only honestly say:
RESOLUTION NEARLY ACCOMPLISHED, BUT NOT QUITE

Resolution: Less troll harassment
Matt resolved to reduce his troll kicking by 45 percent this year.
Resolution's resolution: Although Matt's punting of trolls was up 12 percent from 2008 totals, his overall troll kicking fell by 48 percent.
RESOLUTION ACCOMPLISHED AND THEN SOME

Resolution: Have the Mets not blow it right at the end of the season
Matt resolved for the Mets not to choke in the final weeks of the 2009 baseball season.
Resolution's resolution: The Mets, in fact, did not choke away the playoffs in the final weeks of the 2009 season. They screwed up long before the last few weeks. It wasn't even very close. RESOLUTION FAILURE

Despite the Mets failure, it was a pretty successful year for Matt. Nearly all his goals accomplished, plus a kid.
Stay tuned: next week, Matt will unveil his goals for 2010.

Matt's resolutions

It's very important for a man to make resolutions. Resolutions can help a man focus his mind and his inner spirit that drives him to excel. The promises to himself give a man definable goals by which he can measure his strengths and weaknesses as well as match himself against other men.
That being said, here are Matt's 2009 resolutions:

Shoot no more than two elk
Elk have long been a nuisance in the Northern hemisphere. However, over-hunting of this majestic beast has put it on the endangered species list. Therefor, Matt resolves to shoot no more than two elk. Possibly fewer than two.

Work it
Matt has been blessed with talents such as long toes, good gardening skills and above average grooming. However, these are not gifts if they are not opened. Therefor, Matt resolves to work it.

Drive more than 450 miles in a car
Mankind's technological advancements have given humans great freedom. But the flip side of this blessing is that people can become sentient, lazy. Some have been known to stay at home for hours, or even months. Therefor, Matt resolves to travel at least 450 miles this year in his car, in an effort to broaden his personal horizons and see what the world has to offer.

Consistent blinking
Blinking is one of man's most important inventions. Did you know that eyelids are simply folds of skin, controlled by muscles that can contract so rapidly that blinking does not impair our vision?
Blinking irrigates - not irritates - the eye. The eyelid pulls moisture over the eyeball, keeping our eyeballs from drying up and falling out.
Blinking also shields our eyes. Our eyelashes serve as dust-catchers. They can also catch dirt, mosquitoes and small grapes. This keeps us from going blind or developing grape-eye.
Blinking, as you can see, is a very healthy activity. Therefor, Matt resolves to blink in every month this year.

Less troll harassment
They're there. They have those annoying beards and stupid hats. They want you to travel with them someplace and they promise to pick up your bags. All of this makes you want to kick the troll. But the trolls have feelings. And the trolls have bones, which can break. Therefor, Matt resolves to reduce his troll kicking by 45 percent this year.

Have the Mets not blow it right at the end of the season
The last two seasons have seen the Mets collapse in awful, historic and humiliating ways. The Mets have taken some steps to resolving some of these problems - signing Francisco Rodriguez - but Matt notes that their starting pitching still stinks, except for Santana. However, it would be disheartening for Mets fans to watch the team once again fall on their oversized Mr. Met head. Therefor, Matt resolves for the Mets not to choke in the final weeks of the 2009 baseball season.

We'll check back in on the Matt's progress later in the year.

2009! Woo hooo!

Happy New Year everyone!

2008 was a great year for the Hanleys, even if we didn't start as the Hanleys. 2009 will be even better. We've already made an addition to the house, which will be announced here soon. Oh, the anticipation is brutal.

In the meantime, one of Matt's resolutions is to run more often in the coming year. As part of that goal, he's started yet another blog. But this one is about running and it's for work, not play. At 1:09 am. Jan. 1, a post will show up right here on the brand-new, never-before-seen Off and Running blog. Later in the day, Matt will add Post #2. What would be great is if everyone went on there and looked at the blog - comment if you like - so that Matt's bosses will know why they pay him the big bucks.

Sadly, this means the Ugly Baseball Card Blog may have seen it's final set. Well, all weird things must come to an end.

Hope 2009 is a safe and joyous year for everyone!

This blog would like to express condolences to the family of Studs Terkel. You will be missed, Studs!