Dear Person Who Invented Allergies,
What were you thinking? This was a completely unnecessary thing that you did. What was the point?
First, we're cooped up all winter in freezing weather. Then, when spring finally comes, you throw in the allergies. Runny nose, watering eyes - all of which serve no purpose that I can find.
Honestly, couldn't you find something better to invent? Here's a few suggestions: A pill that will allow you to sleep for just a half hour but feel fully rested. A spaceship that can get us to the moon and back in two days for less than $1,000. Handheld underwater metal detector.
Seriously, bad work, dude.
Most sincerely,
Matt
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