Honeymoon Adventures VI: Ceiba and science

Day Six of the honeymoon (July 21) was a day of relaxation, beauty, science and a hint of home.

After a few days in the real Amazon, Matt and Lynne shipped off to Ceiba Tops, the only luxury resort in the Amazon and the high end hotel in the Explorama chain. The group had heard rumors of this place on the third day of the trip. Supposedly, it was very swank - $245 a night, in a country where a dollar goes a long, long way.

It was very odd walking in, like being in Florida. There was cement everywhere, a chlorinated pool, a lounge with board games (did you know Scrabble has extra letters in Peru?), and air conditioned rooms. When Matt and Lynne first saw the people who had been staying at Ceiba Tops, there was a bit of resentment. These people didn't know what the Amazon was really like. Look at them! Lounging by the pool! Going down the slide! Holding a parrot! Puh-lease.

And then...Matt and Lynne fell onto the clean beds - no mosquito netting. They swam in the pool and went down the slide. They took hot showers. Ahhhhh. Sweet bliss, as Lynne would say.

As you can see, this development was exciting for Lynne.

But Lynne and Matt didn't waste all their time at Ceiba Tops having sun in the fun. This trip was not only a chance to relax, it was opportunity to learn. So, Lynne and Matt conducted their own scientific experiment at the hotel, working on a rumor that has circulated for years. The results were recorded for poosterity. Click below to become part of science.



Ahem.

After some morning rest, the group headed back out onto the Amazon for what was supposed to be one of the highlights of the trip. Since Lynne and Matt landed in Peru, people had been talking about the amazing pink Dolphins. The group piled into the boat and Raul, the guide, took everyone to a spot in the river where he thought the Pink Dolphins might be hanging out, like a dolphin soda shop or the dolphin dollar theater. Of course, Raul knew right where to go.

Now, this may be a case where Matt was done in by his own expectations. He got it into his head that the dolphins would be leaping into the air (like Free Willy), dancing around and over the boat. Instead, the dolphins surfaced briefly, providing a fleeting glimpse of their back. Matt saw them, but he really couldn't tell they were pink. Check out this video. Does he look pink to you? Allegedly, at best. (None of the dolphins were that close or that still for Lynne and Matt.)

It's not that the animals were disappointing - they're marvelous and fascinating creatures - but the view wasn't all that spectacular.

After the dolphin viewing, the group took a trip to the towns of Mazon and Indiana. That's right, they traveled half way around the world and ended up in Indiana, Peru. (Not to be confused with Peru, Indiana.) It seems a missionary had come this town years ago from the Hoosier state, so they named the town after the mysterious state that produces horrible, horrible football teams.

The group headed into town on moto-rickshaws that were more or less completely terrifying. It was raining and these moto-rickshaws (it's a motorcycle carrying a rickshaw - very literal) had not been repaired in a while. Matt and Lynne actually ended up crashing into the moto-rickshaw in front of them, but all was well. Ha-ha, nothing to fear. Surely, the driver had everything under control.

After the ride, the group wandered through a local market. Kids followed Matt and he took their picture, then showed it to them on the digital camera, which they thought was hilarious. Then again, they may have been laughing at the mustache Matt was "growing."

The market gave a quick perspective on world economies. Bananas were three bunches for a dollar and men sat in booths stacked ceiling to floor with goods ranging from dish soap to toothbrushes. There were electronics stores, but they sold TVs from 20 years ago and computers that American inner city grade schools would have abandoned. Kids worked in other booths, or just spent the day with their parents.

But everyone was friendly and courteous to the Americans stomping through their city.

After the tour of Indiana, everyone headed back to Ceiba Tops, where they saw the lodge's namesake, the majestic Ceiba tree. The tree can grow over 200 feet tall with a trunk that is almost perfectly straight for 90 percent of the height, then fans out over the other trees in the jungle. Of course, the height and enormous trunk make it very valuable to loggers. The tree on the Ceiba Tops lodge property was basically rescued and protected - the trees are disappearing fast because preservation efforts can't keep up.

It's difficult to describe how massive the tree is. It was difficult to comprehend its enormousness even when you were standing right in front of it. Matt couldn't fit the entire tree in a picture, but to give you some scale check out the horizontal picture on the right. (You may have to click on it to enlarge.) Inside the red circle near the bottom? That's our Mrs. Lynne. It's a big tree, all right?

The day ended with a nice dinner in the lodge with Peter Jensen, the man who founded the Explorama lodges 40 years ago with $5,000 capital. Although he's retired, he was still there, serving up potatoes and filling up watermelon trays. Lynne and Matt found the Explorama experience to be all around top-notch. Good service, good variety and a great appreciation for the natural beauty of the Amazon.

Day Six Summary: One bout of skepticism followed by falling in love with air conditioning; one inconclusive scientific experiment; several brief glimpses of supposedly pink dolphins; one giant tree; one moto-rickshaw accident, non-fatal.

Mustache: Fuzzy. The little guy was really coming in now, starting to make his presence known. Even other members of the American tour group were commenting on how "stupid" and "strange" it looked. And none of them were prompted by Lynne in anyway.

Weird foods eaten: Fish soup is sort of weird, but delicious. That was breakfast.

Coming next: The best place Matt has ever been to, ever.

The Streak continues!!

Matt's unbelievable baseball prediction streak continues!

In the first round of the playoffs, Matt went out on a limb and predicted that the White Sox, Angels, Cubs and Brewers would roll through. And they did!

It was amazing, wasn't it? Remember when Ted Lilly threw the Game 3 no-hitter to clinch it for the Cubs; when K-Rod decked Big Papi; when Paul Konerko went deep three times in Game 5; and when the Brewers went down two games to none and looked like they were done but C.C. Sabathia pitched back-to-back-to-back games and still they were down 1-0 in the ninth inning of Game 5 and it looked like all hope was lost - 2 outs and 2 strikes - but then Brad Lidge hit six batters in a row to lose the series? Remember that? Wow. And Matt predicted every bit of it.

Then, last week, Matt went out on a longer, different, even less sturdy limb and took the Cubs and the White Sox to make the World Series. No one believed it would actually happen. But, here we are, in Baseball City, U.S.A., watching the unthinkable, viewing the unbelievable: a Windy City Series.

Wait?

Huh?
Do I hear some scoffs? Guffaws? Harumphs?

OK, so Matt has missed on every single one of his playoff predictions. That's fairly difficult do, seemingly. The Red Sox made a run at it - nearly pulled off the amazing comeback - only to completely disappoint Matt. (And it need not be mentioned on these same American Internet waves, Matt predicted the Mets would make the playoffs.)

All. Righty. Then. There's just one series left: Rays and Phillies. Already, people are publicly speculating that the ratings will be down for this series. Matt will ask the obvious question: who in the world - besides TV execs - cares what the ratings are? Will they stop broadcasting the Series if the ratings fall off this year? Ha.

Everything is telling Matt the Rays will win the Series. They're on a roll. They play great defense, have outstanding starting and relief pitching, and timely hitting. There's a bit of that destiny thing rolling in their direction. So that means the pick has to be, there's really no other choice, it simply cannot be anyone else besides...the Phillies. (Hence the fuzzy picture of Ryan Howard above.) Get your Rays Championship merchandise now.

OK, well, you're owed some real posts after all this baseball magic. So, why don't we give you a little Illini football and finally get you out of darkest Peru?

Coming soon!

Happy Bogus Holiday Day

By Matt

The schools are closed. No mail and no murder trials. Banks will (hopefully) re-open tomorrow.
Because – in case you didn’t know - today is Columbus Day. Are we still celebrating this holiday?
Yes, Christopher Columbus was courageous and daring. It had to be pretty tough out there on the ocean for months, with no place to recharge your cell phone and, presumably, no wireless signal. But is this really still among our top holidays, worthy of a precious day off from work?
OK, so his voyage changed the relationship between two continents, opening up trade routes that reshaped the world. Big Leif Erikson’ deal. At best, Columbus happened upon a continent that had already been populated for – I’m approximating here – millions of years. At worst, he accelerated the acculturation of the American Indian.
Columbus isn’t even the Italian American most deserving of a holiday. He couldn’t hit a curveball like Joe DiMaggio; couldn’t storyboard his way out of a paper bag compared to Martin Scorsese; didn’t clean up any part of Times Square, ala Rudy Guliani; couldn’t play the first 10 notes of a Chuck Mangione riff; and wasn’t 10 to the negative eighth power the atom smasher that Enrico Fermi was. Heck, even Guglielmo Marconi did more for America – how else would we have met Casey Kasem?
Now, I don’t want to be misunderstood: I’m not advocating for an extra working day. And I don’t even want Columbus Day off the calendar. It can just be shuffled off to Flag Day Land where we see it, smile, then get back to turning out widgets and sprockets (or whatever you do for a living).
I’m saying if we’re going through all the trouble of creating a federal holiday, let’s get our money’s worth. Here’s my suggested replacements:

- First day of the World Series. (late Octoberish) I think we can all agree there’s not enough Wednesday holidays. So, I propose the national pastime championship starts on a Wednesday, giving us a nice breather in the middle of a late October week. This tradition can continue until the Cubs make the World Series, which would clearly mean the end of days is upon us. Who cares about an extra day of paid vacation with the wailing and gnashing of teeth on its way?

- Patriot’s Day. (Sept. 11) My sister suggested we use Patriot’s Day as a day to remember those less fortunate than us – sort of a national volunteer day where we go to work in the recycling centers and sock kitchens (opening soon). A great idea…but if the terrorists see all the good deeds being done because they struck American soil, I can only assume that will lead to more vengeance. No good.
Instead, I propose we use Patriot’s Day to be truly American: order a pineapple pizza online while watching reality TV (Is Joe Millionaire still on?) as you sip bottled water then flip the empties into the neighbor’s yard. Let’s show those that would hate America that even their worst attacks can’t stop us from leading our full throttle USA lifestyles.

- Matt Hanley Day. (June 28) A day to celebrate all things me. The day would start with the Wearing of the Hair Gel, followed by the Cursing of the Tailgaters and end with the Lamenting of the Mets Season. No? Don't like it? You’re missing out. You would have loved the midday Diet Coke Bath.

- International Talk Like A Pirate Day. (Sept. 19) Already being celebrated in small ways, but I think it’s time to expand this holiday. It would give me the perfect opportunity to tell me favorite joke: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
R?
Nope. P – it’s an R, but it’s missing a leg!

- Newspaper Day. (Sept. 25) Everyone will have to turn off their American Internet and go buy a newspaper or seven. We don’t care what you do with all those dead trees – paper mache is still popular – but just buy the newspaper. (Beacon only, of course.)

- Election Day. (Nov. 4) My wife – a history teacher – suggested Election Day be our newest holiday, so we can all participate in “the democracy” without claiming we had to stay after and clean the coffee bean cooker so it’s not our fault The National Outlaw Bacon party candidate won by a single vote. That’s my wife: very practical.

So, that’s what I’ve come up with so far in my new federal holiday campaign. I’m off to hit some curveballs.

Perfect in the playoffs!

Well, Matt has done it. A perfect 4-for-4 in the playoffs. What's that you say? Matt got all his playoff predictions wrong? Hark! I dare say it may have seemed that Matt swung and missed on every single one of his playoff predictions. But if you look closely, the exact opposite is actually true.

Let's take a closer look:

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Angels

Matt's prediction: Angels in 3 games
Comment: The Red Sox are good. The Angels are really, really good.

Result: Red Sox win the series in four games.

See? Matt said the Red Sox were good. He was right on!

Tampa Bay Rays vs. Chicago White Sox

Matt's prediction: White Sox in 5
Comment: Experience and good starting pitching edges out the team of the future.

Result: Rays won in four games.

See? Matt clearly mentioned that starting pitching's the key. "For the Rays" was implied. Booya!

NATIONAL LEAGUE

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs

Matt's prediction: Cubs in 3
Comment: Cubs aren't as good as everyone thinks. But they're a lot better than the Dodgers.

Result: Dodgers in 3.

See? This one's easy. Matt clearly said the Cubs aren't as good as everyone thinks. They're not even as good as Matt thinks! And, by the way, Matt nailed it: three games. Money.

Milwaukee Brewers vs. Philadelphia Phillies
Brewers in 5
Comment: With Sabathia pitching two games, the Brewers squeak by.

Result: Phillies in four

See? Matt never put the word "prediction" in there. So, if he had been allowed to finish ... Matt would have said Brewers in 5...years, will win the World Series. Stay tuned...

OK, after all that success, how can Matt avoid throwing out some predictions for the championship serieses?

Red Sox vs. Rays

Matt's "prediction": Red Sox in 7 games

Comment: Red Sox experience edges out the Rays. Matt will send his formal apology, by fax, to each and every Sox fan.

Dodgers vs. Phillies

Matt's "prediction": Dodgers in four games

Comment: Phillies have the hitting, but not the pitching. Inexplicably, the Dodgers will be in the World Series.

That's right! Matt's predicting an all-Manny series! (So start getting tickets, Phillies and Rays fans!)

Matt's playoff review/preview

The White Sox game just finished. Wow.

Hello from the baseball capital of the universe. (OK, along with you, LA.)
Let the playoffs begin!

Somehow, Matt was lucky enough to see seven of the eight playoff teams this year. If the Mets hadn't let him down, Matt could have had a nearly improbable clean sweep.

This year's playoffs should be great. (Check out the match-ups at baseball reference.) On the plus side, the games will have a lot of big stars: Kazmir, Crawford, Longoria, Utley, Howard, Hamels, Zambrano, Soto, Lee, Fielder, Braun, Sabathia, Buehrle, Thome, Konerko, Griffey, Teixeira, Lackey, Guerrero, K-Rod, Jenks, Papelbon, Beckett, Papi, K-Rod, Ramirez, Ramirez and Ramirez.
On the down side, no Mets. Stupid Mets.

Matt spent the night scouring his bookcase for the scorecards from the games he went to this year, so he could provide you with his spellbinding insight into the playoff squads (excepting the Phils).

Saturday, May 24
Angels 2, White Sox 0
Lynne and Matt's bachelorette/bachelor parties. Vlad the Impaler hit a home run, but pitching was the star. Johnny Danks and Jared Weaver were both awesome. If the Sox can get to the second round, these two might face each other again.

Saturday, June 14
Tigers 12, Dodgers 7
Matt and his dad drove to Detroit for this game. If you had asked Matt after this game who was going to the playoffs he would have given the Tigers a better shot than L.A. The Dodgers looked horrible; Brad Penny got knocked around pretty good. Of course, at this point Manny was still wearing a Boston uniform. Unlike, the next game Matt went to...

Monday, Aug. 11
Red Sox 5, White Sox 1
Again, another possible second round match-up: Beckett vs. Danks. Danks was perfect for 6-1/3 innings, but then the wheels came off a bit. Beckett was awesome for eight, then Papelbon finished it off. Which is exactly what the Red Sox will try to do in the playoffs. Incidentally, Lynne and Matt sat really close to Carlos Quentin. He really does look like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

Sunday, Aug. 16
Twins 11, Mariners 8
The only game Matt went to not featuring at least one playoff team, although the Twins got as close as you can possibly get without making it. On the way home from a wedding, Lynne and Matt met Adam at the game. Matt was happy to see Ichiro play, even in a horrible stadium like the Metrodome. The Twins were up 8-0 and somehow they still needed Joe Nathan to save this one.
In a somewhat related note, Matt noticed after Tuesday's Twins-Sox game that all the best, established relievers are in the AL: Papelbon, Jenks, Nathan, Rivera, K-Rod.
Wood, Lidge, Valverde are pretty good, but not yet established. Hoffman's probably the best NL reliever with a track record but he's pretty old. Wagner may be done.

Saturday, Aug. 23
Rays 5, White Sox 3
Kazmir vs. Vasquez, another possible playoff preview. (Matt saw a lot of good pitching this year.) The Sox looked good, except for the eighth inning when they gave up four runs. Jermaine Dye did hit two home runs, but the Sox couldn't manufacture a run. It's going to be the same battle this week.

Monday, Sept. 1
Mets 4, Brewers 2
Santana struck out 10 and Carlos Delgado hit a bomb. Yet, that doesn't really matter, does it? In other news, Sheets had to leave after 5 innings despite giving up no runs and two hits. Foreshadowing.

Wednesday, Sept. 17
Brewers 6, Cubs 2
Aramis Ramirez hit a nice line drive home run, but the Cubs didn't have much going this night. For the Brew Crew, Sheets had to come out after the second inning, despite only giving up a run. He hasn't been the same since.

Thursday, Sept. 18
Cubs 7, Brewers 6 (12 innings)
This was a great game - one you didn't think the Brewers would recover from. The Brewers stupidly ran themselves out of the eighth inning, but the Cubs were still down four runs. The Brewers got the first two outs in the ninth. Somehow, the Cubs rallied and Geovany Soto hit a three-run homer to tie the game. The Cubs won in the 12th to put the magic number at one.

OK, onto Matt's division series predictions:

AMERICAN LEAGUE
Boston Red Sox (1-0 in games Matt saw) vs. Los Angeles Angels (1-0)
Matt's prediction: Angels in 3 games

Comment: The Red Sox are good. The Angels are really, really good.

Tampa Bay Rays (1-0) vs. Chicago White Sox (0-3)
Matt's prediction: White Sox in 5

Comment: Experience and good starting pitching edges out the team of the future.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
Los Angeles Dodgers (0-1) vs. Chicago Cubs (1-1)
Matt's prediction: Cubs in 3

Comment: Cubs aren't as good as everyone thinks. But they're a lot better than the Dodgers.

Milwaukee Brewers (1-2) vs. Philadelphia Phillies (0-0)
Brewers in 5

Comment: With Sabathia pitching two games, the Brewers squeak by.

One interesting baseball note: C.C. Sabathia led both the American League (2) and the National League (3) in shut outs. That's got to be a first.

Let the games begin!

Honeymoon Adventures V: Lungs of the World

The day started at 5:30 a.m. with a cold, cold shower (Matt actually managed to stand - not dash through - the water for the first time), and a hike to the canopy walk. Matt had been wanting to do this since he heard about going to Peru. For the first time, the rain forest lived up to the first half of it's name.

It rained all morning as the group walked about 35 to 40 minutes to the canopies. But when everyone finally arrived, the rain finally lifted a bit and the mist began to clear - perfect for a hike on top of the trees.

The canopy walk was originally set up as a research center, a way for scientists to spend hours at the tops of trees studying monkeys, insects and birds that never touch the rain forest floor. Now, this particular walk has been turned into a tourist walk, although that phrase evokes some wrong ideas. There were no people within miles of Matt and Lynne's group.

The hike starts at the base, which is wooden structure that goes up about 40 feet. From there on, the canopy is ingeniously built into the trees - no large, obtrusive poles stuck into the rain forest. You walk on a V-shaped net with your feet on a board and your arms on the ropes on both sides. There's no chance of falling and the walkway barely, barey moves or sways because the ropes are so taught.

The canopy walk has 13 stations. You reach the highest - 121 feet - at the sixth station. That's like looking down on a 100-foot tree, some might say. (Very descriptive, dontcha think?)

However, the height was not very intimidating, because 1) it was fairly difficult to see straight to the ground because of the foliage and 2) everything around was so awe inspiring. From the highest point you could look into Peru for miles - green trees that seemed to go on forever. You could only imagine what or who was living beneath all that beauty.

Because of all the untouched trees, Lynne said she was standing in the "lungs of the world," which put your place on Earth in perspective. Lynne and Matt stood there, watching steam rise from the jungle while small black birds danced above the tree tops. It was quiet, the air was crisp and fresh, and everything was calm. Matt took a lot of deep breaths, trying to store up extra air.

Lynne and Matt took their time on the canopy walk, but it didn't take long to get across. Still, it was an unforgettable walk - a moment when you know right away it was once in a lifetime. (There'd seemed to be a bunch of those in row.)

Next, it was onto the ReNuPeRu medicinal herb garden, where the tour company is trying to preserve the ancient traditions of herbal remedies. Lynne and Matt sniffed a crush plant that seemed to burn their nostrils, tasted a leaf that numbed Matt's tongue and smelled sweet lemon grass (like Pledge!). Then everyone was offered a blessing by a shaman. He promised to make you 10 years younger.

The shaman brought you up, asked your name and then started chanting and blowing smoke into your head. It was rather odd. Then after he blew some smoke into your head (whhhhoop, whhhhooop, whhhhoop) he would "bless" (whack) you with some reeds that looked like a small broom. Lynne went first and described the experience as, "Being beat in the head."

Matt wasn't so keen on being beaten, but the shaman had already made Lynne 18. Matt wasn't going to be some creepy 30 year old dating a teenager. He got blessed, turned 19, and started having a dance party in his dorm room.

After lunch, the group took a boat ride up the Amazon to the village where Raul, the tour guide grew up. This was another of Lynne and Matt's favorite stops. OAT (the tour group) really stresses seeing how "regular" people live. You visit the tourist spots, sure. But they also take you to a small village and later we ate dinner in a family's house.

Everyone arrived in San Pedro, a little village cut out on the dry (non-marshy) side of the Amazon. Raul told the group that he was one of 16 children. His father had three wives. The first died of a snake bite and the second died in child birth. Raul's father had a very large farm so 10 kids went to college - very unusual. Raul studied to be a tour guide (his English was much better than Matt's), got married and had two kids - Raul and Megan.

When the group showed up at San Pedro, it was like the circus came to town. Kids, cows, pigs, dogs, and sheep followed everyone as they walked toward a building that housed the only phone in town. (This was a wealthy town to have a phone.) All the kids gathered in a room and they sang the Peruvian national anthem and the friendship song. All the Americans introduced themselves in Spanish. Lynne accidentally told them Matt was 300 instead of 30. This appeared to be the most hilarious joke the kids had ever heard.

.

.

Most of the people lived in what Americans would consider shacks. There was no electricity, plumbing or running water. The houses were raised up off the ground, with a hammock or some blankets on a wooden floor. The people typically took a shallow canoe across the Amazon to their farm (where they probably grew potatoes or bananas) on the fertile (marshy) side of the river. Many of them spend their whole life in this village, punctuated by one trip into Iquitos.

.

.

The only way to get to Iquitos (the nearest big city, where you can sell you goods) is to take a large river ferry, which takes about 24-40 hours to make a trip we made in two hours by motor boat. It cost about 3 soles for a person to ride the ferry, maybe 5 soles for a cattle and one sole for every chicken on board. (When you see that, you realize the Naperville bus drivers have really been overcharging for horses.)

At the end of the day, Lynne and Matt were tired, but fascinated. They had seen parts of the world and people they never imagined they would meet. But they couldn't help but wonder where they would be in 20 or 25 years.

Lynne and Matt saw huge boats filled with lumber hauling trees down the river - a crucial trade in the Amazon. And in these villages, the children tend to leave for the bigger city where they can get a better job, have a TV, etc. It's the way of the world that places and people evolve and change. But what is being lost?

Day Five Summary: 13 platforms above the trees; 20 years (total) lost in a shaman beating; 270 years lost in translation; one trip to a jungle village.

Mustache: Festering. It had been nearly a week and yet the mustache could get no traction. Lynne was sickened by it and Matt was sickened by the prospect that this was a lost project. Still, he soldiered on.

Weird foods eaten: None.

Coming next: Hot water!

Happy birthday Lynne!

Harrumph hrrmph years ago, Lynne Seago was born. Ah, it seems like only yesterday.


And for the first time in her life, she gets to spend her day with her husband, who will be trying his best not to watch the Illini-Mets-Brewers-Phillies-Twins-Sox scores. Total media blockout!

How old is Lynne? Hmmm, tricky situation here. Not sure if she's OK with that being out there...don't think she'd have a problem, but...hmmm. Well, it's the first birthday of Lynne Hanley. How's that for an answer?

Lynne, your smile lights up the lives of everyone who's lucky enough to know you.



Hope you have a fantastic day!